The Iron Heart and The Crazy Calm
by AccountBuster
Summary: They always close behind, chasing him, almost catching him. One did manage to capture him, in a different sense. He was something of a special case. Any other wraith would’ve died at his hand, his gun. Not him. Not Moraine.
1. Discovery and Initial Disbelief

One world away from his home, two, three, he passed through so many it became difficult for him to recall how far he'd ran. They were always close behind, chasing him, almost catching him. One did manage to capture him in a sense. He was something of a special case. Any other wraith would've died at his hand, his gun. Not him. Upon parting he even disclosed his name, well, a name. Morraine. Murry, for short he said. Then he was gone, through the woods, being chased by his own kind for reasons that Ronon did not know and did not think to ask. Ronon still did not know the fate of him, never found him again but for a long time he had kept a lookout for any sign. Murry had informed him casually one night under stars that if Ronon should ever come across a culled world, check for children, if there were no children, he'd had hidden them away somewhere safe and was with them. Ronon kept a crescent-moon-shaped chink of pure white stone hanging on a leather tong that Murry had given him. It was a rarity he said. A very special symbol, but of what he'd never said. Ronon kept it hidden always, even now among his surrogate family, he told no one of the wraith. His wraith.

"Now, the data base says that this world was mainly agricultural and, shall we say, unenlightened, but this information is obviously out of date by now so we can surmise that now there should be technology we could probably use."

Dr Rodney McKay walked to the gate quickly in his usual gait as he talked and checked up on his information via the palm pilot he always carried, running through scores of pages of facts and figures, making sure for the tenth time he was correct in his information. The last trip off world he'd suggested had gotten him shot, one soldier dead, a friend injured and another two pitted against each other to the death. Never again he told himself, never again would he not double, triple check everything that could in the least bit be variable.

Colonel John Sheppard was doing his best in directing the four inexperienced and eager young scientists into a suitable and safer order, just in case of course that this planet proved to be hostile, which it probably wasn't, but there was no danger in being prudent sometimes.

Teyla Emmagen was quietly surveying the serenity of the beautiful city in which she now called home away from home. It held within it a secret of peace and tranquillity that did not match anything she'd ever experienced before. She relished coming here from the worlds they visited, it was so amazing to belong in such a place, to have such flourishing friendships, from the various acquaintances she held through-out the city to her very close friends, her comrades, her team.

Ronon Dex was fingering his gun, leaning against the top railing on the balconey that overlooked the gate and was hoping to find something to shoot. It had been so long since a rush of danger or excitement, since the adrenaline smacked his heart that he was growing bored, restless in the calm of Atlantis, the city that the Ancients built. Not that the good and safe atmosphere here was bad, it would just be good to come back after some fighting. Not that he was deluded into thinking that this might become his type of trip. This was the job for a bureaucrat like Elizabeth, not a warrior like himself. He looked down and watched Teyla, the look of pure happiness on her pretty face and suddenly felt selfish and ungrateful, for the gift he'd been given, for the second chance he'd gotten.

When John had assembled the scientists into an order he felt most secure he called to Ronon to join them and they all again stepped through the gate together, each unaware of how deeply the bonds between them ran, though even to themselves it may not be obvious on the surface to what depth.

The blue rippling surface of the event horizon quivered as they passed through then grew still in their wake and Elizabeth Weir watched them go, having too much paperwork to do and reports left to write up to join them. She felt a little sad in seeing them all go, for she would never be such an explorer, she was a bureaucrat not a warrior as Ronon had once put it quite plainly, but she felt apprehensive too for the events that transpired frequently from these jaunts to other worlds. She hoped that this trip at least would prove fruitful in the efforts to regain some power, if the wraith turned up now it would be horrific. With no zero-point module they'd be literal sitting ducks. With her arms crossed she stood a moment longer, watching until the Stargate closed then strode off to get some headway in the neglected paperwork on her desk.

At the almost exact moment they'd left, they arrived and stopped, not even bothering to go down the stone steps that stood beyond the platform. They stood in the middle of a town square that could've looked right at home on Earth. Smoke encircled the weak blue sky and bodies lay strewn in the streets, some still gripping guns, others now instead with their arms raised in useless efforts to defend themselves and their faces twisted in fear and pain. John, Teyla and Ronon all raised their guns at the same time, cautiously proceeding down the stone steps and onto the street.

"These people have indeed been killed by the Wraith"

Teyla tried to keep the horror from her voice, she'd never seen so many dead at once from a culling, these poor people had obviously took a stand and fought for their lives, and by the look of some wraith bodies, they had managed well under the circumstances. Then she noticed something a little peculiar.

"There are no children here"

Ronon noticed this too but for a different reason, something vague that he remembered from long ago. He subconsciously reached for the pendant that hung long against his skin. Maybe, perhaps, no. It'd been too long his mind told him; he was surely dead by now, in his condition. But he held onto more hope than he usually allowed himself.

"I'm gonna go check around"

He slipped away down one of the streets; it was the explanation he gave and no one challenged him. This was his chance to quash any false hope; he was going to see if he was here. He was dreading and wishing at the same time to find him. If he found him then he'd have to tell the story and become the world's worst hypocrite but at least then he'd have him back.

Teyla also noticed Ronon strange behaviour but did not let on to knowing, instead she followed a slanted route through the streets but always keeping in line with the road that Ronon took. Just in case he needed any assistance, though when she thought about it, that was a poor excuse. A very poor excuse.

John followed another road and without realising it, left Rodney alone and in charge of horrified and terrified young scientists. Charming, Rodney thought, rolling his eyes, as one of the softer boys vomited all over the ground at the sight of the corpses.

Ronon had scoured the street and was about to give up and move on when he saw a flash of white out of the corner if his eye. He turned, ready to fire, when he saw that it was just white paint that had been splattered onto a small brown door in haste, it had dried in a crescent-moon-shape. He walked over and kicked the door in, hearing from below the high crying of a very young child and the quiet murmuring of children hushed but whispering in fright. He also heard a softly crackling, stuttering voice, a voice he knew too well. He kicked away the dusty rug that covered the floor and dragged open the trap door to reveal ten frightened faces, guarded by a vicious scarred wraith whose eye twitched occasionally and who clicked his teeth when nervous. as they were clicking now.

Ronon smiled down at the wraith, expecting a return smile or at least a nod of recognition. What he did get was a snarl and knife blade pointing at him.

"You-u don't c-come d-down here and n-no one gets h-hurt"

From experience Ronon knew that Murry was terrible at any kind of hand-to-hand combat but no one could escape his deadly accurate aim or his unbelievable speed.

"Moraine, it's Rono…"

Before he'd even finished saying his own name he found himself being hugged by a wraith who barely stood up to his shoulder, who was so light he could fly if he ran fast enough, who'd been so badly tortured by humans and by his own kind that it sent him to the brink of insanity. He shoved Murry away but in an affectionate way, in just enough time to see Teyla run from the doorway and begin firing at him. If it had not been that in the moment Teyla began to shoot she tripped over the folded rug, sending the bullets off their intended target, Murry would've died either from blood loss or trauma. Two hit his shoulder and the others flew erratically into the ceiling. The impact from the bullets sent him flying into the wall, he lay there, quite still and held his wounded shoulder from which blood spurted. Ronon raised an eyebrow and Murry nodded, taking some bandages from his pocket and wrapping them carefully around the wound. The children ran from the trapdoor in the floor, to the wraith and not to those who looked liked them, saying much about how far the wraith had gone to protect them. Ten children cowered around the wraith, showing their courage by shielding him from the shooter, who'd picked herself and her gun up, returning for the kill.

Teyla stood amazed as the children who'd been missing from the scenes of death and carnage sheltered the very thing that had destroyed their world. The wraith stood up but still in the gloom that fell beyond the light of the doorway and Teyla could only discern the whiteness of his hair and the blackness of his clothes. When he walked slowly forward, with his hands in the air no less, into the light Teyla's eyes widened to the state of his face. Scars criss-crossed his features, from his forehead to his chin, from his eye socket to his nose and mouth. From what she could see, the scars turned into burns further down, a thick purple slash that wound it's way around his neck from what she could see. His hands were no better, burns and scars ruined the skin on his palms to a point where she could no longer see the feeding line. His eyes were solid ice, nothing held in them, but a crazy calm held his mind, she could feel the very brink of it through her link to the Wraith. He allowed her inside, a lost smile tugging wistfully at his mouth, and she gasped. Such pain and fear, torture beyond what the scars could show. He released her quickly, his eyes downcast now, no longer ice but full of tragic tears that he let drip to the floor. The children saw this sorrow and two of the oldest, both teenagers one a girl with raven hair and brown eyes full of fire and one a boy with brown hair and blue eyes that were filled with a kind of respectful pity, held each a hand in their own. The younger children scrambled to hug him. Teyla had never seen such a sight of a group bonded in such terror, so many children charmed by a monster that if it was some kind of bewitching it was a kind of magic she had never met in a wraith before.

Ronon had not yet moved. Instead he held the pendant tightly in his grip, not daring to believe it. When Murry lifted his sorrowful gaze from the floor to see Ronon, he forced a smile, it did not sit well on him and he struggled to hold it steady. When Ronon shook his head and walked towards him the children parted, standing under the watchful eyes of the oldest children.

Ronon put his hand on the Wraith's uninjured shoulder and pulled him into a careful embrace for when in such a grief filled mood Murry could easily snap within his own badly wired and haunted mind. When he didn't and Ronon let go, Murry stood but a little higher than before and a small yet real smile braved his face.

"I k-know you…Ronon Dex? N-no it c-can't be…"

Murry's eyes lit up with recognition and his hand shot up Ronon's shirt, bringing out the pendant from underneath. He stared at it then at Ronon; he followed the outside curve of the pure stone with one of his fingers and closed his eyes. When he opened them again, they were full of such happiness.

"Ronon Dex, huh, I-I've m-missed you so m-much"

He embraced the ex-runner of his own accord and at that point Sheppard spoke into Ronon's ear, his tone full of incredulity and concern mixed together in a cocktail of what John was and always would be.

"What the hell is going on down there?"

Ronon stared down at the wraith then at Teyla who stared back at him, her eyes full of disbelief then at Murry once more. He shrugged, hustled the children and walked out the front door, ducking to get through, then wandered content down the street with Murry loping beside him and the ten children and Teyla in pursuit.

When Rodney saw them coming up the blackened street he was in such shock that the first thing that crossed his mind was that Ronon looked like some kind of twisted Pied Piper, walking the dead streets of a Hamlet that was long gone.


	2. Bite the Bullet, Face The Music

Teyla stared apprehensively at the Wraith, who was dressed in a scruffy leather tank top that revealed scarred lightly muscled arms, trousers that were riddled with holes and was walking without shoes, instead wandering the streets in his bare feet, as he almost always did. He was in front of her and she intended it to stay that way. She held her gun close to her chest, her fingers waiting for a hostile move. She monitored the children too, for they obviously did not know the creature was dangerous. No matter what Ronon's connection to this monster was, no matter his excuses for not letting her kill him, this was still a Wraith, a very unstable one from what she gleaned from the link she held. He walked strangely, as if trying to watch everything at once; he twisted his head to the sky then turned completely to watch her then whirled on his feet quickly to both sides. From what she could see Ronon was not bothered in the slightest by this strange behaviour, instead he was grinning. He was smiling at the sight of this…this thing.

Ronon watched Murry intently as they both walked, just making sure that he wasn't going to take a bad spin, it had been so long since he'd seen Murry that anything could've happened between then and now, including even more torture. But Murry was actually alive and he was here, right in front of him, close enough to touch.

"H-hey Ronon, where y-you b-been?"

He thought about it for a minute, letting the silence grow a little, trying to decide whether or not to tell him the whole truth.

"Around Murry, I've been around"

"H-how l-long did y-you have t-to run?"

"Seven years"

The Wraith fell silent again as they reached the Stargate platform and then Ronon realised he'd have to tell the story. He didn't want to but he supposed he owed the truth at least, especially to Elizabeth, Sheppard, Teyla and even Rodney. Murry didn't seemed in the least bit interested in who Teyla was or why she shot at him, why she wasn't now, where they were going, no, he never seemed quite bothered by anything at all. The Wraith's eyes were still trained on the sky for now, eyes that shined a deep sapphire blue ringed with gold and centred with black, those big blues breathing in the biggest blue of all, his left twitching slightly.

Rodney almost screamed when he saw the scarred Wraith, he pointed but no sound came from his mouth. The scientists made enough noise to cover him though, they screamed and ran behind the stone circle, their heads only just visible. Rodney was left standing alone out in the open until being over-run by the children. Children, lots of children, snotty noses and dirty hands and wailing nonsensical chatter. He hated children, could never understand how anyone could become attached to them. Then he saw the youngest, a blue-eyed blond haired little girl, only about three or four years old, hiding behind the Wraith's leg. His eyes widened a little more when he saw Ronon grinning happily at him. The smile disappeared though, under Rodney's disbelieving gaze.

"H-h-hi"

The Wraith had a strange voice, cracked and stuttering, but spoke pleasantly to Rodney, holding out his hand to shake. Rodney made no movement, just stared at the Wraith's horrible face, his mouth agape. The Wraith fidgeted under his stare and started to click his teeth together, his hand dropped and he lifted his head to the sky. Ronon sighed and put his hand on the Wraith's shoulder.

"His name's Murry"

Rodney almost fainted there and then, was it not for Ronon who was talking and watching his reaction carefully. What was going on here?

John marched back up the street, becoming more and more annoyed when no one answered his calls. He ran to the Gate and saw the scene and stopped. There were children swarming across the pedestal the Ancient device stood upon and Ronon stood with his hand on a Wraith's shoulder, a gesture of friendship. No, it couldn't be, his mind insisted that there was something wrong. He ran forward, his gun already up and aiming. Teyla saw him coming and tapped Ronon's arm, he turned and waved half-heartedly, as if anticipating the coming storm.

He kept his hand on Murry's shoulder; he could feel the Wraith becoming agitated, through the anguish and the pain of a hundred wounds through his body and mind. Not much could be done about the stares; people would always stop and stare at something strange that caught their attention. The questions would come soon but there was nothing he could do to stop them either, especially from Sheppard. Especially after he'd drilled John so long and so hard for being called brother by the Wraith that he'd teamed with to escape the Genii cell.

"What the hell is going on here?"

John kept his gun aimed at the Wraith, shouting the question at Ronon, who didn't answer but stared at him.

"Ronon you better tell me what's going on or so help me I will shoot that thing"

He cocked the gun to make his point heard.

"Fine. But not here. I'll…"

He bit the bullet and turned to face the music

"I'll explain when we get back"

John took a moment to decide then nodded, relaxing the gun slightly and walking to the podium, having to almost pull the youthful scientists from the Gate so they could get home and get this mess sorted out.

Ronon watched his proxy family assemble themselves as far from him as possible. He sincerely hoped he hadn't damaged it forever, not like those anonymous sadistic bastards had done to Murry. The gate surged then returned to normal, Sheppard went first, to explain the situation and then they all walked through, all nineteen of them.

The welcome wagon was all strung out, ten guards stood on the other side all with guns, all ready to fire, all shouting. Ronon had to physically hold the Wraith to stop him running back through the Gate. Murry struggled but to no avail, he didn't have the strength to match him. He was breathing erratically, his eyes were shut tight and he was twitching uncontrollably. Ronon did not like this; he did not like this at all. He frog-marched the Wraith away from the reception and to the conference room, where at least it would be quiet. The others followed suit, trying to keep the children in check at the same time as monitoring the Wraith that walked in their midst.

Upon the exact moment they arrived at the conference room Murry's eyes flicked open and he cast them in the children's direction, counting them with one taloned finger, he nodded when the last was bundled in and turned to face Dr Elizabeth Weir. Ronon vigilantly watched the scene; he needed to be ready to react in a moment just in case he needed to catch the Wraith before he inflicted damage on anyone, or himself. Murry eyed the woman's face and smiled uncertainly, holding out his hand.  
"H-hi"

Elizabeth accepted his hand and shook it warmly. His smile was fleeting at best and he backed away from her cautiously until he was on par with Ronon's shoulder. She smiled but her eyes did not, they were hard as ice when she laid them on Ronon.

"Uh, this is Murry"

Murry could never properly introduced himself, an old Wraith habit he could not break even if he wanted to. He was calmer than before but was still agitated and did not want to face the questions that Elizabeth asked of him so instead he half-turned and kneeled to the silent mourning children, listening not to the real world, which had treated him so harshly, but to the heartfelt grief that the older children expressed and the teary cries of the younger. He nodded and sat cross-legged on the conference room and talked slowly to the children, who surrounded him on three sides hanging onto his every word. No one of the world above him knew what he saying but the children of all ages nodded eagerly and managed to break into a set of tentative smiles. Murry looked sideways up to Ronon's serious expression and furrowed his brow, stood and took the very tired youngest child in his arms, she curled on the Wraith's bare bandaged shoulder and fell into a doze. Elizabeth, John, Teyla and Rodney watched astounded at the children's behaviour and the Wraith's, but also Ronon's. The self described Wraith annihilator, the man who swore never to rest until every Wraith in the Pegasus Galaxy was dead, the force that went against the Wraith like a weapon all of his own, was expecting them to shelter a twitching scarred wreck of a Wraith who was unbelievably good with children.

"This is absurd"

Elizabeth's tone spoke for the entire Atlantis team. John was angry but in a cold detached way.

"Go on then Ronon, what the hell is going on?"

Ronon stood and put his hand on Murry's unburdened uninjured shoulder. He struggled to find the words to begin; it was all so unclear in his own mind, happened so fast.

"It-t s-started in-n the r-r-rain"

Murry prompted Ronon gently and everything fell into quickly into place.


	3. Of Beginnings In The Rain

6 and ½ Years In The Past… 

Ronon pulled the cloak closer around him, ignoring the steady falling rain that fell forever from the permanently grey skies. The darkness crawled around him, in the shadows, every movement he caught he swung around at, he was edgy now. He turned and was about to cross the empty street when he heard someone coming, loud, crude words echoed up and down until he was unsure of the direction. He slipped down a slide alley and behind a convenient dumpster just in time and watched. A hugely obese man was waddling across the road; he was wearing a tailored white suit that could only belong with the Mafia of Downtown. In his hand he held a briefcase and in the other he held a gun. He stopped at one of the buildings, knocked and went inside. Ronon would have run on without a second thought when he happened to hear clattering from behind him. He swung around hard and caught the Wraith on the chin, sending him flying into the road on the other side of the alley. Ronon drew his gun and aimed dutifully at the fallen figure, expecting the Wraith to snarl and fly at him. When it didn't he sprinted over, the gun still directed at the body outlined in the rain. He stared down at the mutilated Wraith, shocked at his appearance and apparel. He was wearing a pair of ragged white shorts and nothing else, exposing his scars; some fresh and bleeding out into the gutter while others were obviously older and deeper wounds. The Wraith's eyes were open and should've been dazed but instead were wide with adrenaline pumped fear and were spiked with exhaustion.

"T-t-t-they're c-coming f-f-for y-y-y-you"

The Wraith managed to spit out through chattering teeth and a betraying tongue. He dragged himself to his knees and swivelled to face the opposing buildings, quick enough to see the smudge of white against the dark and raining backdrop.

"Q-q-q-quick, R-r-un-runner, s-start r-r-r-running"

Ronon did not wait and pulled the Wraith to his feet by an arm, dragging him along until letting go and was overtaken by the flying black and white blur. Suddenly a dart whined across the night sky, rousing a scream from the already agitated Wraith and he skidded to a stop.

"G-g-gate, q-q-quick"

Ronon ran on with the Wraith in front, he watched to the right, left and front of him simultaneously, his gun locked and loaded. The Wraith banged out an address and flew through the Gate, Ronon close behind. As the portal closed Ronon turned to round on the Wraith but he'd collapsed on the platform. He stood for a moment above the body, caught between the righteous voice of who he was and self-preservation he'd been forced to rediscovered. For the last time in Ronon's mind for over six years, someone else took priority over himself and he dragged the Wraith into the waiting shadowy woods.

The Wraith did not wake for hours and when he did he was weak, barely being able to pull himself to his feet. Ronon began to ask lots of questions very quickly and the Wraith shook his head, leaned against a tree and closed his eyes. No matter what Ronon did he could not make him open them. It was just before daybreak when the Wraith switched on but still he ignored Ronon's questions.

"T-there's a t-t-time for e-e-everything, R-Runner"

He strolled off into the woods and Ronon followed him, not because he had no other choice but because he was curious. There were no cats where he came from.

The Wraith selected an angular stone from the leaf litter and held it in one hand, weighting it carefully. He kneeled and shushed Ronon, his eyes shut and everything was still. Suddenly the stone flew from the Wraith's hand and something thudded in the undergrowth. He vaguely pointed to where it had fallen and left Ronon to discover for himself, running off back in the direction from whence they came, swiftly snatching up sticks and twigs as he went.

Ronon searched the undergrowth for a while and found a body of a creature much like a rabbit, it's neck broken. He held it loosely in one hand and walked back, following the Wraith's footprints through the mud and leaves. When he walked onto the clearing he saw smoke, a fire and a spit, ready for roasting. The Wraith winked at him and grinned a sloppy sideways smile. He held something in his fist and swapped it for the body.

"F-f-for s-saving m-m-me b-back there, I-I-it's s-special, r-r-real r-rare, s-symbolic"

Ronon stared at the beautiful pure white crescent moon pendant on the long leather tong and nodded, watching intently as the Wraith began to teach him how to build a spit and fire it up in minutes, how to build and hide a den and most importantly how to track Wraith like himself. The Wraith was quick to smile and was patient, teaching methodically and carefully. Eventually Ronon forgot he was talking with a Wraith and got a mental shake whenever he turned to face him. It was well into the night and around the fire that the Wraith began to talk rather than teach. His stutter had quickly gone from annoying to barely noticeable.

"W-w-what's y-your n-n-name, R-r-runner?"

"Ronon, Ronon Dex"

The Wraith nodded and settled back against a tree, his eyes set to the starry heavens. It was Ronon's turn to ask a question.

"So what made you like this?"

The Wraith did not answer immediately, his eyes fell from staring serenely above to overlooking his own hands, tracing the scars that covered them with his fingertips. Ronon watched the Wraith and bit his lip, waiting for an answer did not seem to be coming and was about ask another when he spoke.

"T-t-torture d-does s-strange t-t-things t-to p-people R-R-Ronon, n-no matter w-what s-species it comes f-from"

He said no more on the subject and throughout the night the questions were fired, answers given and remarks, memories and opinions were exchanged until a comfortable silence settled onto the camp over two of the most unlikely pair of comrades ever to be found anywhere.

As the night progressed and even as Ronon watched, the Wraith's mood became more troubled and more edgy. His eyes flicked rapidly between the Gate and the sky, his teeth chattered noisily and every time Ronon moved he flinched.

"What's going on?"

The Wraith seemed not to hear him, he stood and walked to the Gate, still wearing just those tattered white shorts and Ronon was not far behind. He heard the whining before he saw it and stared as the dart transported down a Hunter Team. The Wraith ran and this time he pulled on Ronon to move, dragging the Runner with him to the trees and through the forest.

The enemy Wraith were not far behind, screeching to the crescent moon that hung in the deep clear indigo sky. They hunted their prey eagerly, trying to decide between the Reject and the Runner. The Wraith who held Ronon by the hand took him in a full circle, not that the hunters saw this and pushed him towards the Gate, his eyes wide once more but now forlorn. Ronon held the pendant tight in his fist. The Wraith shuffled over to him, stood on tiptoe and whispered into his ear, his pale cracked lips brushing Ronon's lobe gently.

"My name's Moraine, it's Murry, for short"

Tears might have dusted the Wraith's eyes, might not have, but before Ronon could decide the Wraith was off and he went to the Gate, dialling out quickly onto another world, turning only to see the Wraith dash off into the forest followed swiftly by the pack of Hunters, none of which noticed his leaving. He saluted to the Wraith and left through the rippling blue surface, not daring to look back.


	4. Haunted

**The Present Day…**

Ronon watched over Murry while the others made their decision, he saw the wound on his shoulder was still bleeding and sighed. He tapped the Wraith's shoulder.

"Murry when did you last feed?"

Murry bit his lip and cast his mind back, trying desperately to remember exactly when he last fed upon a human.

"M-m-maybe t-ten y-years"

Ronon stepped back, expecting the Wraith to round and feed upon him. Ten years was close to starvation for a wakened Wraith who was constantly burning energy. Murry wasn't paying much attention and was rocking the sleeping child in his arms, whispering a solemn beautiful lullaby in his own language to her.

"Aren't you hungry?"

Murry turned and looked at him, the fiery hunger suddenly rising in his eyes. Ronon braced himself for an attack but it never came.

"Y-y-yes, I-I'm h-hungry"

The Wraith whispered, still rocking the child. His eyes were haunted by memories that Ronon could only imagine.

"S-so h-hungry"

Murry trembled and shook his head; his eyes clearing of the aching desire to feed. The child was wakening, her gleeful blue eyes clear and she was smiling up at him. He smiled back and walked with her in his arms to the door of the conference room. The guards blocked his way and he stared perplexed at them then at Ronon. He walked back to the huddled group and tapped Elizabeth in the shoulder.

"T-h-he c-children n-need food"

She nodded to one of the guards who began to round the children up and tried to take the girl from his arms, the Wraith growled softly, inadvertently alerting Ronon to his anger, and he passed her to the adolescent boy, Murry rounded swiftly on the guard and pushed him against the wall, daring him with his eyes, his teeth inches from the guards face.

"T-they g-go w-with m-me"

Ronon dragged the Wraith from the guard with his fist, holding him by the collar off his feet and choking him. Murry twisted in his grip and snarled at the guard who now held his gun to his face. Ronon bear hugged him, his muscled arms tightening around his slim waist and crushing the breath from him.

"Murry, calm down"

The Wraith stopped struggling almost immediately, going lifeless in Ronon's arms. When released he fell to his knees, a bag of limp bones. The teenagers stared angrily up at Ronon, the girl close to picking a fight held back only by the boy who held her arm. They kneeled and the boy returned the young blonde girl, who was dangerously close to crying to the Wraith's arms. Murry took the little bundle and hugged her, she smiled and laughed, an innocent giggle full of joy untainted by the grief that held the older children for she was too young to know what had happened. The Wraith stood with the girl in his arms once more. He looked to Ronon, his eyes quietly regarding him.

"W-why did y-you h-hurt me?"

"This is my family Murry"

The Wraith stood a moment, contemplating this, then nodded and walked, eying the guards warily as he passed and sat on one of the seats. Ronon kept a firm hand on his shoulder. Ronon then pulled away, thinking of something he'd neglected to ask.

"Did you get the bug out your back?"

Murry stood, turned and pulled up the back of his top over his head with his one free hand, revealing deep fingernail scores that ran the length of his spine, deeper still around a small dip.

"I-I d-dug I-it out"

Ronon and the others winced and the Wraith pulled the tank top back down, faced them with the child held protectively in his arms. His eyes fell and he sat back down, slowly rocking the child back to sleep. Ronon matched John's gaze and held it, the soldier broke first and turned back to the huddle where they discussed what should be done.

It was hours before the meeting was adjourned having reached no compromise. Murry and all the younger children had fallen asleep, two on Murry's knees, one in his arms and the rest against his chair. The two teenagers watched over the group, the boy was nearly dozing but the girl sat alert on the edge of the table, monitoring every move. Elizabeth spoke first.

"I think we should just allow them to sleep here tonight, no need to disturb them now"

The others nodded and Ronon eyed the nervous guards.

"I'll take first watch"

No one argued and they vacated the room until only the slumbering Murry and the sleeping children remained. Ronon breathed a heavy sigh and leaned against the wall, his usual position in any meeting. He was about to nod off when he felt the wraith's eyes on him.

"Ronon, y-you've g-got some w-weird f-family"

He laughed and retorted quickly.

"It just got a little weirder"

They both lapsed into the silence each were so comfortable with, ignoring the looks from the barely wakened adolescents. Murry tentatively placed the dozing children in each of the empty chairs and nodded to the boy, who settled down and closed his eyes, quickly dropping off to sleep, closely followed by the girl.

"T-they a-all l-look s-so p-peaceful"

Murry murmured absently and Ronon nodded in agreement, they did indeed look so serene as they slept.

"Where did you find so many of them?"

"O-o-orphanage"

Ronon stared at them then at Murry, whose eyes were heavy-lidded with exhaustion.

"You should get some sleep"

"I-I know t-that"

The wraith laughed and his smile softened drowsily, he stood and walked over to Ronon and propped himself against the wall beside him. As Murry became more and more sleepy he leaned against the burly ex-runner until he just slid down the wall and fell asleep on the floor. Ronon stared down at the wraith and shook his head; he knelt and picked Murry up, placing him softly in one of the chairs. Returning back to the wall to watch the scene he saw the boy sitting up and watching him warily, his blue eyes sliding between him and the wraith.

"Why does everyone hate him so much?"

His voice was melancholic and sincere but Ronon could not help but chuckle.

"He's a wraith"

The boy shook his head, staring intently at Murry.

"He doesn't act like it. The culling had began, people were screaming, dying, he flew in, other wraith trying to get at him, kill him, he fought them off and rounded some of us up and told us to be quiet, and we did. He put us in the cellar and went back out to save who he could, he got hurt a lot but he kept going, saved all ten of us"

Ronon smirked, just like Murry, he though to himself. The boy did not smile, his face seemed set in serious stone.

"He got shot up saving my sister Devi"

He pointed at the slumbering girl.

"She went back out to fight, that's who she is, she's a fire hearted fighter"

Ronon nodded, he knew the type. The boy finished talking and sat back in the chair, looking thoroughly exhausted.

"So what's your name kid"

"Turi"

With that Turi's eyes closed and he slept, leaving Ronon to pointlessly guard the slumbering wraith, personally he thought that there was a decent chance that Murry would snooze all night and all day if left. He did not know that the room was under tight surveillance and that a team of guards stood on call if anything went wrong, he also didn't know that Murry was not actually asleep but listening attentively to anything he might perceive as a threat to the children or Ronon but what he did know was that he was content to play sentinel to the defenceless children and their demented wraith guardian.


	5. The Everyday Miracle

Dawn broke silently over the city the next day, the sun's violet and crimson rays staining the sky. Murry's muscles twitched occasionally, as he lay slumped trying to wrestle his way from his nightmarish sleep in the leather chair, oblivious to the spectacle of the waking heavens. Ronon stood leaning against the windowsill, quietly observing the slumbering odd party, he too ignorant of the ascending sun. Eventually he strode to the trembling wraith and shook him roughly by the shoulder, waking him from his tormenting dreams.

"R-R-Ronon?"

He whispered irresolutely staring uncertainly up at him. He shook his head, trying to decipher the reality from the nightmare that had so recently gripped his broken mind. Ronon nodded unhurriedly and the wraith let out a sigh of relief.

"W-what t-time is it?"

Ronon stood away from the window and Murry stared out to the sunrise, it reflected itself in his eyes, clearing them of phantoms.

"It's early, come on, I'll show you around"

The wraith pulled himself up from the chair and followed the man to the door, pausing only briefly to look back at the orphaned children before stepping across the threshold. A pair of soldiers stood outside the door and robotically raised their guns to the wraith; Murry eyed the weapons with a cursory glance and dashed away, too quickly for the shots that fell at his heels. Ronon dead-eyed the guards and flew after him like fire, hoping to catch him ahead of anyone else. He followed the glimpses of the wraith he caught as he turned the twisting corners, as he neared he shouted to him.

"Murry stop, slow down"

Luckily enough, most of Atlantis's inhabitants were still asleep. Ronon realised that this section of the corridor ended in a blast door and was confirmed by a string of filthy curses that filled the air, some in Common Tongue and others not, and a low thud. He slowed to a walk and turned the last corner, met with the sight of Murry lying sprawled on the floor with a dazed looked spread across his face.

"Told you"

The wraith growled at Ronon's smug grin, his lips pouted and his eyes dark before he too broke into a diminutive smile and chuckled painfully.

"I s-should r-really s-start l-l-listening to y-you"

Ronon extended his hand and yanked Murry to his feet, clapping his hand on the back and leading him back to the conference room before anyone realised they'd gone. They passed the two guards once more, both staring the other way and Murry growled sharply, loud enough to make them jump, turn and grab onto their weapons. He chuckled coldly at their fear and their resulting sheepishness and entered the room, closely followed by an amused Ronon.

All the children were wide-awake, all ten of them. Their faces brightened at the sight of Murry and the youngest blond girl ran to him, jumping into his arms. The wraith grinned and spun her round much to the envy and delight of the others and they all soon clamoured for a ride. The older children clapped along and laughed joyfully. Ronon observed from the sidelines of how happy Murry looked, his scarred face animated and beaming.

"My name's Charley"

The blond girl giggled, tracing the bridge of Murry's nose. He went cock-eyed staring at her delicate finger causing her to fall back laughing. Ronon scoffed too at the comical utter un-wraith-likeness of him.

The brilliant hilarity of the mood evaporated in the early morning, almost in an instant of the other team walking in. The children backed behind Murry, who ushered them up to the other side of the room and fell silent, the children following suit. Devi, the teenage girl, leaned over the wraith's healed shoulder and whispered fierily into his ear.

"What's taking them so long to decide?"

Murry just shrugged indecisively.

"P-probably c-cause of m-me b-being a w-wraith"

Devi fired up at that, ready to march over to the watching team and do something about it when Turi snagged her sleeve.

"Not now Devi"

He was calm and serious, his azure eyes looking down at her though they were of the same height.

"But they just can't do that"

She replied, her voice a barely restrained whisper.

"Yes, they can"

Turi responded simply, hoping against all that his sister for once would pick her fights. She went limp and stood beside her brother, not saying another word, saving them for when she could deliver them more fruitfully.

Murry sat cross-legged on the floor and twiddled his thumbs, letting his white hair fall deliberately in front of his scarred face as if it might lessen his intimidating appearance to the adults. The humans, who looked down at him as if he was some kind of dangerous animal, even now as he sat among the children they glanced at him with withering contempt.

Two of the girls, Charlotte aged nine and Jenny eight, and two of the boys, Jake and Allie, both eight years old stood and plonked down defiantly in front of the wraith, staring coldly as they could manage at the team. They were soon followed by Dominic and Serak, both five and inseparable best friends. Charlie already sat at Murry's crossed feet and twelve year old Connor resided beside her. The teenagers, Devi and Turi, each sat at one of the wraith's shoulders. Together all the children made a wall, one that could not be broken by conventional means.

Murry stared at the children as they shielded him somewhat from the Atlantis team, who now had stopped deliberating and were staring at the scene of passive defiance. Ronon grinned furtively while the others stared. Elizabeth approached Turi, who had stood to greet her.

"My name is Elizabeth Weir, welcome"

"Good morning Miss Weir, my name is Turi. Thank you for allowing us to stay in your beautiful city"

Turi's tone was filled with the finesse and formality that his sister lacked. He'd learned from years of watching how awful the people were to each other in the orphanage and in the town before that. He always vowed to treat everyone with the same respect.

"Have you come to a decision yet Miss Weir?"

She nodded and smiled pleasantly at the young man then addressed the whole group.

"You are welcome to stay, all of you"

The children stared disbelieving at Elizabeth, their mouths agape and their eyes wide, before they burst into cheering. Murry smiled wide and nodded his thanks to the woman, avoiding her penetrating marsh green eyes. He looked to Ronon, who stood grinning openly.

"T-thank y-you"

He directed his gratitude to Ronon, Elizabeth and the others. He'd never felt so elated in so long, years had passed since a smile such as grazed his face but now. He threw his gaze wide and stared at the ceiling and the walls, at the children and the adults, at the sun and the sea beyond the window, appreciating for the first time what humans called an everyday common kind of miracle.


	6. The Ups and Downs of City Life

It was only a few hours into the morning when the children began to complain of empty stomachs. Murry stood smiling gently, if a little blankly, at the faces looking up at him.

"R-r-right, l-lets g-g-go f-f-food h-h-hunting"

He murmured as he clapped his hands together, eying the doors and the guards who still had not left their station. When everyone was up and milling around, all sniffling for something to fill his or her stomach, Murry decided to risk leaving. His own hunger had dulled to a painful ache over the years but he was still bleeding and a thought flickered through him, perhaps he would stop healing altogether, he might just bleed and bleed until no blood was left in his veins, fear shuddered him to a stop. He stood staring at the door, the guard watching him, waiting eagerly for an excuse to shoot the corrupted creature. Murry almost gave him one but for Turi's hand on his shoulder and Charley's laughter behind him. Ronon appeared at an apt time, breaking Murry's trance and train of thought, his face breaking into a grin.

"H-h-hiya R-R-Ronon"

He waved, forgetting his quandary almost immediately. Ronon smiled and gestured to the children, his voice easy and trouble-free, his expression calm and he was smiling.

"Anyone for breakfast?"

The children cheered and rushed around his legs as he began to run at a rather more leisurely pace than his usual, they were followed in turn by a laughing Murry who held Charley in his arms. They arrived at the cafeteria and were greeted by stares and vicious whispers behind hands.

Murry immediately bristled to the atmosphere and stared at his shoeless feet, his shoulders slumped and his face miserable. Ronon bristled to it too but reacted most differently, his head was held if a little higher and his shoulders broader as he smiled fiercely, daring someone to make a definite move. Only the older children realised the hostility in the room and they ignored it, the younger were blissfully oblivious to it. The kitchen had already been preparing the meal and carted it out to one of the longer tables. It was then that Ronon noticed that Teyla, John and Rodney sat among those whispering but they were staring with revulsion at those surrounding them. They rose defiantly, pulled up chairs and sat beside Ronon, Murry and the children. Murry sat silent his eyes closed, guarded against tears, not for him, but for Ronon's tarnished reputation after associating with him. Ronon himself cared not for the wishy-washy and spineless acting of the populace. Devi wanted to scream and shout, to throw those who dare sniff haughtily at Murry, as if they were better than him, off the pier. Turi felt his cheeks burning steadily at the sharp attention the group was receiving but laughed when he saw the look in his sister's eye. Connor was silent; he was contemplating how to save Murry from the vipers that surrounded them.

"R-R-Ronon I-I'm g-g-going f-f-f-for a-a w-w-walk"

Murry murmured into the Satedan's ear and shuffled quickly out to the side of the cafeteria before Ronon could protest, painfully aware of the eyes that followed his progress. He was at the door when he realised he couldn't open it without the Lantean Gene. Luckily, Ronon had thought of it and was already behind him, he opened the door and watched the tragic figure scuffle through the corridor. When he turned back to the crowd, his gaze could've killed and his hands would've.

Murry wandered through the blue light of the corridor, the novelty of having this beautiful city as a home wearing off as the reality of his own isolation hit him. He would always be an outsider here; he realised, never to be accepted. They'd always be looking for an excuse. And it struck him, he'd give them one eventually, whether he chose to or not. His nature would not be suppressed forever, he was a wraith and as much as he hated to think about it, he had to feed or die. He'd bleed out or starve to death. He knew a guard was pursuing him and gave him the slip out of the need for the privacy to break down, just a little. The tears poured down his upturned face and he slumped forward, sobbing softly into his arm. All at once, his mind betrayed him and he slipped backwards into the past.

**Fifteen Years In The Past…**

He cowered against the damp stonewall; sweat, tears, water and blood were almost drowning him. A man, tall and powerful, was standing above; he cracked the whip across the trembling creatures face and laughed as Murry screamed once more. He picked up a bucket of old brine and poured over the bleeding wraith, sniggering as he sobbed. He grabbed a long serrated knife and held against Murry's cheek, dragging it slowly and painfully across his cheek, letting the blood fall. The man sneered and left the creature whimpering and bleeding on the freezing cold cell floor. With no light to track the days and the pain throwing him into a half-consciousness he slumped forwards, knowing it would all begin again the next round and the next and the next. His throat was ruptured from screaming, the new cuts bled and the old ones throbbed. He couldn't stay conscious any longer and his eyes closed.

He awoke to the sting of brine and steel. He was now strapped to a table, surrounded by hideous medical equipment. A man hidden behind a surgical mask loomed to the side, holding in his hand a long thick needle. Murry panicked but the shackles proved beyond his weakened state to break. The Doctor plunged the needle into his arm and he screamed as the enzyme in his arm disappeared out. The man left with the needle and returned with two halves of rubber rings separated vertically with a steel rod in one hand and a jagged piece of metal in the other. The rubber and steel contraption was forced into his mouth, holding it open so wide it felt as if splitting at the sides. The toothed metal device was pushed into his mouth and down his throat.

He remembered screaming, remembered pain and darkness, then no more from the Doctor's Surgery.

**Present Day…**

He woke up in a bed, the screams just dying in his throat. Ronon stood apprehensive above him and when he awoke, the Satedan swooped down like a hawk.

"Don't you ever do that again you bastard, it was like you were in a coma, when I found you, stone cold and shivering, I thought…"

Ronon realised how loud his voice had become, he was practically shouting. He managed to stop himself and instead forced himself to look down at Murry properly, how sick he looked, the blood still seeping through the bandages from two days before. He sat on the bed and shook his head. Murry began to sob, the tears barely hitting his cheeks before Ronon found himself wiping them away.

"I-I-I d-d-don't w-want t-to d-d-die"

He sobbed into Ronon's shoulder and Ronon, who didn't know what else to do but wrap his arms around the wraith's shoulder and say.

"You aren't going to die, I'll make sure of that…there will be something I can do"

The clogs in Ronon's mind were turning one hundred miles an hour, it would be risky, it would be very unethical and wrong and if caught he'd get in so much trouble Elizabeth would probably have him killed. But he found himself smiling, some excitement and some hazard, just what he'd wanted.

"W-w-what a-are y-you g-g-g-gonna d-do?"

Murry asked tentatively, in spite of himself, worried by the glint in Ronon's eye and the brutal smile on his face. When he didn't get an answer he didn't ask again, in fact he didn't even want to know.

"We're going to Cretadon"

Murry passed out.

A/N This chapter is dedicated to Katyusha, whose glowing review lit up my face for days afterwards. I'm still smiling. Thanks.


	7. The Bad Spin

It was all planned; Ronon had managed to convince Elizabeth to allow them, in a few days time, to go on a two-day "convalescence" to an uninhabited planet with one of the Puddle jumpers. Once there, they'd wait three hours before dialling to Cretadon.

**Four Years In The Past…**

Ronon stood at the busy crossroads populated by only drunkards and their escorts. In Cretadon, he'd soon realised, 50 of the population were drunk and the other half were prostitutes. There was no valour or honour there, no innocence or compassion, just drink, drugs, sex and crime. Violence ruled the streets, rape and murder on every corner. He was sickened to his very stomach to stay there even for a short time, but knew he was in no place to be picky.

The only reason he was here was because Murry mentioned it that night, God it seemed so long ago, the peace of that one night against so many years of chaos. He said it would be a safe haven for a few precious days rest every odd year, spread out so a pattern was not discernible. Apparently, the wraith were not eager to cull here, or even pass nearby, but he'd never mentioned why.

With his hand resting on his gun he moved through the crowds, he'd already been here too long. He made for the Gate that stood in the middle of a clearing deep in the forest, his small pack heavy with dried meat and other essential supplies. He graced the profane city not a second glance, dialled at random and left at a run.

**The Present Day…**

Murry was agitated, that at least was clear to Ronon, about the idea of betraying those who'd took him and the children, especially Charley, in. The trouble was that his strength came in haphazard spurts, much like his periods of normality. Sometimes he'd be strong enough to run the breadth and length of Atlantis faster than even Ronon, while others, he'd barely be able to stay conscious. He spent most of the time he was able, with the children, playing games with Charley and the younger children while talking with Devi, Turi and Connor of faraway places (some of which no matter how much you ran they'd always stay out just of reach).

Ronon packed some things and tried his best to make peace with Sheppard. While they still weren't the best of pals, things were getting back to normal. It made him feel better, just in case they didn't make it back, that John wouldn't think too much worse of him for helping Murry out.

Ronon hovered nervously over Murry while in the company of anyone other the kids, monitoring the little tics and spasms. He was only standing by, in case Murry had a bad turn. Too much that it came late that night.

Ronon was on his late run, jogging helped clear his mind of the stress and the worry. He was passing Murry's room when he heard the screaming. He practically punched the door down. When he finally waited to push down on the counsel and rushed in. Murry was curled up against the wall, bashing his head against it so hard blood was smeared against the stone.

"Murry, Murry stop it!"

Ronon roared. He grabbed the wraith's arms and wrenched him away from the wall and into the air. Murry thrashed violently in Ronon's grip, his eyes lighted crazily and so very far away. From this perspective, Ronon could see the long, thin, freshly bleeding scratches on his temples. He was shouting and screaming in a language that Ronon was all so familiar with, the hissing guttural first language of the wraith. Ronon gripped him tightly as far away from himself as possible, trying not to see his friend as a badly wired wraith, as a threat, though he could not be anything else in that moment.

"Murry, see me, hear me buddy, be here"

He switched from screaming in Wraith to pleading in Common Tongue but his eyes never cleared, the craziness and distance still held them.

"G-g-get it-it out of m-m-me, l-let me g-g-go, I g-g-gotta g-get it out"

"Get what out Murry? There's nothing there, it's me, it's Ronon"

"I-I-I g-gotta g-get it o-out of m-me, l-let m-me g-go, g-gotta g-get it o-out!"

He began to struggle again; Ronon wondered whether he should call a medical team to sedate him before he hurt himself worse than he was already. Or hurt someone else, a small voice whispered in his head but he blatantly ignored it.

"Murry, it's Ronon, you're in Atlantis, you're safe here"

His eyes began to clear, slowly but steadily, until his mind snapped back to the present. Ronon still held him in the air, their eyes locked together as Ronon tried to establish whether or not he was still a risk. Murry flinched under his scrutiny and sniffed quietly.

"What was _that,_ Murry?"

Ronon enquired but Murry closed his eyes and shook his head. He sniffed again.

"Why do you keep sniffing?"

"B-b-blood in m-m-y m-mouth g-going up m-my n-nose"

And as if on cue, blood ran down from his mouth and nose onto his chin. Ronon put him onto bed, grimacing at the mess of blood at the back of his head.

"What happened?"

The wraith stared up at him before answering.

"W-when are w-we g-going t-to C-Cretadon?"

"Supposed to be tomorrow"

"W-w-well I'll t-t-tell you t-then, away f-from h-here"

"These things are just gonna get worse aren't they?"

Murry looked away, trying to save himself the trouble of answering, but Ronon wanted a definite reply.

"Y-y-yes, t-the l-longer I t-try and g-g-go w-without f-feeding, t-the w-worse it b-becomes, the h-harder t-they are t-t-to c-control"

Ronon sighed and sat on the bed next to him.

"We're screwed, aren't we Murry?"

"Y-yup"

A/N -This (incredibly short, "please don't eat me") chapter is most definitely dedicated to Amaruk Wolfheart of the Wraith. Mostly for the amazing review, truly happiness-overload-brain-explosion inducing, but also for asking to post it in the C2 - The Wraith Archives – which is an honour bows in the light of the eternally thankful cookie : )


	8. Decisions, Decisions and The Plan

After rigorously washing the blood from the wall, putting Murry's head under the shower to clean the redness from the white of his hair and placing him back in bed, Ronon stood above the now slumbering wraith and smiled softly. He finally looked peaceful for the first time that night; even after the bad spin, he'd seemed remote and depressed. Ronon switched off the lights and left, finished his run at double quick speed and slipped into his bed, fully dressed and exhausted.

Turi, Devi and Connor sat on the floor of Devi's bedroom, having already put the others to their respective beds and left them asleep. Turi was listening intently to the faint sounds of the city; thinking sadly of what Devi was about to say.

"I think we should leave"

Connor gasped and stood, disbelieving he paced to the window.

"And why do you think we should do that? This place is amazing, hot food, comfortable beds, these people are goddamn nice and we're supposed to give it all up on your whim"

"For starters they all hate Moraine, second of all my _whim_ doesn't trust them"

Her tone dripped with sarcasm enough to drown a horse but Connor took no notice, he'd dreamed so long for a home even less wonderful than this.

"I don't give half a damn about your paranoia! And while I love Murry just as much as the rest of you, those adults aren't exactly going to see eye to eye with a crazy wraith when they've lost so many to this damn war!"

Connor was shouting by the end of his rant and had turned back to face them both, close enough to raise his fist to Devi, who was stronger, taller and weighed more than him. She was also wilder and more practiced at the ancient art of violence. Turi stepped between them, his face melancholically pressed but the irritation spread across his voice.

"Both of you end it now, there's more than us going on here"

Connor and Devi stared open-eyed at Turi and in unison they asked.

"What do you mean?"

Turi sighed and stood staring out through the dark window at the unfamiliar starry sky.

"Haven't you noticed? Everyone is on edge since we arrived, but it is not new, sooner or later something is going to go wrong and when it does, we have to be ready"

Devi stared at her brother; he had not shared this with her. He shared everything with her. Connor gritted his teeth and nodded.

As the sun rose the next day and the light streamed through the high clear windows, Murry sat on the floor with his legs crossed and his palms on his knees, he was completely still but for the occasional twitch. He smiled softly in the morning rays of sunlight, every bad memory and painful ghost momentarily forgotten. All he could feel was the warmth of the sun and the cold floor beneath him. He almost didn't notice when Charley slipped into the room and snuck up behind him, stifling her giggles with one small hand and tiptoeing as best she could. Murry popped one eye open and began to snore comically, making the little girl snort in laughter, and he swivelled, stood and scooped her up in one fluid motion.

"W-well l-little one I-I t-think y-you've lost a f-finger"

Murry gurgled in his best doctor voice, pulling Charley's hand to his eye and squinting at it, counting off her fingers and wailing dramatically when he miscounted.

"O-oh n-no w-we're g-gonna have t-to o-operate"

Charley sniggered so hard that she turned red and Murry collapsed onto the bed laughing fit to burst.

Devi and Turi watched from the doorway, only halfway laughing for the sadness that weighed upon them from the previous night. Ronon turned up as well, grinning and holding up two backpacks in one hand. Murry managed to untangle himself from Charley and safely put her down without any major injury. Dominic and Serak stood smiling mischievously, Charlotte, Jenny, Allie and Jake stood behind and Conner grimaced softly.

"M-my f-family"

Murry whispered, Ronon nodded and as quick as any wraith to walk, Murry swept them all up in one huge hug.

"I-I g-gotta g-g-go, b-be b-back s-soon"

Tears might've dusted his eyes, Turi mused, might not have as Ronon and Murry walked away towards the hanger.

Ronon was so very thankful for the flying lessons John had been giving him before, otherwise someone would have had to go with them and that would've complicated things. Once again, he thanked Sheppard, in silence of course.

"You ready for this Murry?"

Ronon asked, noticing how the wraith's hand shook as he accepted the backpack. Murry paused before answering, mulling over the question, and all the possible answers, excuses and explanations.

"Y-yes"

"Let's go then"

Ronon climbed aboard the Jumper, which was already in the Gate-room, sat in the pilot seat and fired up, turning just once to see Murry slouched in the seat, buckled in and glazed in an unhealthy sweat. The wraith smiled weakly and closed his eyes, resting his head against the back of the seat.

"Hold on Buddy"

Ronon murmured as they flew through the Gate. The blue swallowed the ship and they were gone from the sight of ten frightened children who'd gathered to see them off.

With Murry deteriorating faster than Ronon thought he would, he decided to dial the Gate to Cretadon only an hour later, instead of three. And although teetering on collapse Murry refused to be supported, his face set in steely determination and just at the corner of his mouth hung a hint of desperate craving that Ronon noticed, and it worried him immensely.

Murry lifted up the hood on his new heavy black robe, looking like if Death suddenly took sick leave he'd be ready to fill the place in a moment. From beneath the shadow of the wraith's hood, all Ronon could hear was the hiss of acute laboured breathing.

"You gonna make it"

The hood turned towards him.

"I-I-I w-w-will"

Frowning, Ronon went first and Murry second through the cerulean disk and into the hazy, fume-induced dusk, with the murky radiance of Cretadon filtering through the darkness granted by the branches of the tall and rather ancient conifer trees.

Mud clung to Ronon's boots and Murry's feet as they marched together in silence along the mire-like path through the trees. Murry's breathing became so heavy that Ronon, ignoring his weak and futile protests, picked him up and carried him the rest of the way to the slope before putting him down at the summit, where they looked down at the grimy city.

Murry's eyes brightened, illuminated by the light, and to Ronon's distaste, he began grin. Not the friendly and quite goofy smile he usually wore but the malevolent smirk of a predator. Nothing could catch Murry when he started to run and the same rules applied now, perhaps more so counting what was at stake and the pure adrenaline flooding his system. Cutting through the grasses, he cut a path down to the edge of the streets, Ronon started after him, pelting as fast as he could down the incline without slipping.

He could hear the screaming before he got to the scene, the unbelievable potency of a person's dying shrieks in a place where murder was not even a misdemeanour. No one even batted an eyelid. It was the plan; Ronon kept whispering to himself, this was the plan.

Murry stood with a pile of shrunken bones at his feet, the hood blown back and standing ram-rod straight, his eyes wild staring down at his prey, his smile wide with all the teeth out on show. Ronon barely recognised his friend from this monster.

"I…I don't know you"

Murry swivelled to face him, grinning still that horrific smile. The tension between them surged to a crescendo, until Ronon was sure that the wraith before him was going to attack. But the expression began to falter; the wraith's posture slipped a little, then his smile.

"M-m-my n-n-name's M-M-Murry"

Ronon nodded, not trusting himself to smile. He couldn't take his eyes from the withered corpse.

"A-a-and I-I-I'm s-sorry, I-I d-don't k-k-know w-what c-came o-over m-me"

Ronon did if Murry didn't; his nature had come over him. Who he could've been, if his past hadn't happened. If he'd been born without a screw loose, he could've been someone in his own world, the wraith world. But here he was, half-starved, cracked and best friends with the worst threat to his kind since the Ancients.

"I-is it o-okay if I-I g-go a-and m-meet you l-later?"

Ronon nodded slowly, not trusting himself to speak just in case the voice that came out from his mouth was the one he used to eulogy the wraith he killed. Murry was gone before Ronon could blink, dodging quickly and easily through the crowds.

A/N After a rather serious discussion with Steve the Plushie me hysterically mumbling and him continously, and rather meanly (in my opinion he enjoyed it) tapping at the word count I have made this chapter as long as my poor hands would allow. But it was worth it in the end, I got a whole chapter done : )


	9. A Rift and The End Result

Four hours later Ronon found himself sitting on the steps of the Stargate with his head in his hands. The gentle tickle-me-pink rays were creeping over the far horizon and the air held a grey quality that pressed on him and his senses. He wanted much to be back in bed fast asleep and away from the nightmarish grin, the one he kept seeing when he closed his eyes. But nothing could restrain the memory of the night before and all those nights he'd spent, terrified out his mind, all those years ago. He was teetering on leaving, maybe this was all just a mistake, he thought.

Murry whirled on his feet, it had been so long. Too long. His heart was pumping the blood, adrenaline and life through his veins. Every weeping wound was healing, he felt no pain, no fear or anything but pure ecstasy. He took his fill and more, letting greed, gluttony and whimsy rule his heart and head. It was dawn before he stopped, rocked by a single thought, a single word. It hit him and hurt him much deeper than his heart could pump the sustaining cocktail.

"R-Ronon"

Without waiting another moment, he tore towards the slope and the Gate that stood beyond those huge evergreen trees. Seconds passed as he flew, his feet barely touching the ground.

Ronon considered a moment more and stood, moving slowly towards the consol, it felt as if the air consisted of treacle and he was wading through it. He tapped the Gate address that would take him back to the jumper but his finger hovered over the last button and something made him turn back in the direction of Cretadon. A figure, lithe and swift, was racing at considerable speed towards him. There was no ungainliness or awkwardness, just pure predatory grace. But Ronon had his gun out before the hooded thing reached him. Murry stuttered to a halt, the hood flopping back and he tripped, flying with limbs flailing, into the mud. And there he laid, his hands raised in protection, at the mercy of his best friend's gun.

Ronon stared down at Murry. The same old damaged scars, mud-spattered hair and face. And those spiked big blues. If wearing the tattered white shorts, Ronon could've reasonably believed he'd been transported back in time.

"I-I-it's m-m-me R-Ronon, p-please d-don't s-shot"

Maybe it was the genuine pleading in his voice, or the tortured innocence in his eyes, perhaps it was the memories that hit him or the way Murry shivered, defenceless in the mud. For whatever reason it might've been, Ronon slowly lowered his gun and tentatively offered his hand. Murry grasped it and pulled himself to his feet.

"You had me worried there for a while"

Murry, still panicked from the gun's barrels, nodded almost too eagerly, pumping his head up and down.

"M-me t-t-too"

"You feeling better now?"

Before answering Murry tried as best as he could to look calm and sincere.

"Y-yes"

He tried his best to remember all of the people he'd fed off of; he tried his best to feel empathy for them. He tried his darnedest to feel something. The matter did not rise, but both were lost in thinking about it. The value of one life over many. A lot of things seemed not to want to rise anyway.

Ronon tapped in the Gate address and they were walking towards the wormhole when Murry, out of complete spontaneous thought, said.

"I-I w-wanna g-g-go s-swimming, I've n-never b-been b-before"

Ronon regarded the wraith out of the corner of his eye, his eyebrow raised in surprise.

"Why would you want to learn how to swim?"

"W-well A-A-Atlantis is s-surrounded b-by w-water, w-what if I f-f-fell in?"

Ronon thought about this and grinned unsteadily, shook his head and strode through the Gate; Murry at his heels just caught what the Satedan said.

"Okay, I'll teach you how to swim"

Murry couldn't help but feel worried about this, hearing the smile that gave the words a hidden meaning, and cringed in response, wondering what he'd got himself into.

**Meanwhile In Atlantis…**

Conner absent-mindedly watched over Dominic and Serak as the two boys played an impromptu game of hide-and-seek under the tables and between the chairs. Devi and Turi were deep in counsel over the other side of the cafeteria, serious faced and near arguing. He'd never, in his seven years at the orphanage, seen them argue over anything other than Devi's temper, and even then, it had just been a bit of fun. Charley sat dolefully next to him; her usually bubbly attitude deflated by the absence of her humorous partner in crime and would not be consoled by anything. Jack and Allie, too "old" to play with the immature gruesome-twosome, traded flatulence and faeces jokes, giggling in co-hoots when anyone passed, particularly Jenny or Charlotte, who were having a grown-up tea party (no boys allowed of course) with real tea and cakes.

The teenage twin's argument rose in volume but only one voice could be heard and that was Devi's, rising way above her brother's quieter and more subdued tone. Conner strained to hear but the voices were distorted, he did catch some of it though, only from Devi's mouth.

"…And you know, you know what I'm talking about and you still don't do nothing, just like always, you never do anything, just sit there and object and say I'm wrong and over-reacting…"

The rest was lost to him. He leaned back in the chair, swinging from two legs and thought. He thought about the hell of a home he'd come from and the hell of an orphanage he'd went to, it being a different sort of the same hell. But here was different, here it wasn't the food, the mould, the pain or the diseases, it was the people. The things that had bound them all together were fading away, like how sitting with a book out in the sunshine for too long would melt the glue and let the pages blow away. He mulled over this for so long, he almost fell into a doze, the chair beginning to tilt woke him up and he grappled for the edge of the table. He pulled the chair onto four legs once more and decided to go to bed, hoping his dreams would take him away, as they always did in the orphanage.

A/N I finished this chapter at 11:50 pm as Steve would not allow me to sleep until it was finished and posted, Amaruk-Wolfheart-of-the-Wraith, you were indeed so accurate with their persistent pushiness and domineering attitude

Steve the Plushie: grins rather malevolently and nods in proud agreement

But anyway, the next chapter is set to be a little more, shall we say, humorous.  
Think wraith. Think water.

Think Murry "O-oh m-my g-god I'm g-g-going t-to d-d-drown".

Think Ronon "The water is two feet deep".


	10. Forgetting and Remembering

Murry sat cross-legged on the pale soft sand and stared at the waves that gently lapped the edge of the land, and the smudge that was Ronon, swimming around like a rather untalented fish. Laughter echoed across the silvery surface of the lake and Murry stood, squinting against the reflected sunlight.

"Are you ever going to come in?"

Ronon's voice was faint; he was so far away and far out, where the water was much deeper and darker. Murry shook his head and hunkered back onto the sand. He'd wait until Ronon returned before even going near the water and it's treacherous depths. He didn't have to wait very long as the Satedan swam nearer to the shore and walked to the land, the water dripping from his hair and shorts.

"Well come on then"

Murry stared untrustingly at the water; it seemed to pulse with malevolence and iniquity, threatening to drag him beneath the surface. Ronon smiled and picked the wraith up over his shoulder and ran into the water with him, kicking and screaming all the way. He laughed, the water was about to his waist when he put Murry back, but the wraith clung to his shoulder.

"You are going in whether you like or not"

He threw Murry into the water, he went under and a few seconds later came up spluttering and yelling. He thrashed around until his feet hit the silt bottom.

"W-w-what t-the h-hell d-did you d-do t-that f-for!?"

Ronon tried to keep a straight face but the laughter burst out of him and he doubled over. Murry's hair was plastered across his face and his voice high with indignant alarm; his arms were waving around and his hands were fluttering. Ronon's first thought was of Rodney and that made him laugh all the harder. Murry sighed and began to march but not in the direction of the shore. Ronon didn't notice at first but when he did.

"Murry, hey Murry, where you going? Shore's that way"

Murry didn't stop and the water climbed to his chest quickly enough for Ronon to stop laughing and half-lunge, half-stroke towards him. He reached the wraith and was about to pick him up and out of the water, when he saw the smile, and the humour that glittered like gold dust in his eyes. He tried to pinwheel backwards but Murry was too quick, he flicked the legs out from under the Satedan and flopped beneath the surface of the water, weightless and graceless, he kicked towards where the lakebed reached the shore. He was halfway there when something grabbed his ankle in a pincer-like grip; he twisted desperately, trying to free himself, his mind conjuring images of leathery scales and nothing else but teeth, lots and lots of teeth. The thing plucked him out from the water and he found himself eye to belly button with a smirking Ronon, who walked a little more to where the water only reached his shins, plopped Murry down into the water and sat himself onto the shingle of the lakebed. Smiling, he watched as a huge white and grey bird of prey plunged into the surface of the lake and flew away with a fish in its inescapable talons.

"There's a shallow cove just around the bend, I'll teach you there"

Murry grinned goofily.

"T-thanks"

Ronon nodded and returned his gaze to the landscape but all of a sudden, his smile began to fade when a thought occurred to him, his expression dropped to seriousness and he spoke.

"You never told me"

Murry turned and tilted his head, raising his hand to shade his eyes against the glinting sun.

"T-told you w-what?"

"About the other night"

"Ah"

Murry said no more; silently he struggled with his memory, trying to diverge the nightmares from the reality. He braced himself for the uncontrollable lapse in reality and the ghosts, but neither it nor they rose in his consciousness. Thanks to the feeding, he thought, half happily and half guiltily. He wanted to sort it in his mind before he tried to tell it to Ronon.

**Twenty Years In The Past…**

The restraints cut into his wrists as he struggled with vigour against them. One of his own brethren stood above, grinning mercilessly as he would a defenceless piece of prey.

"_Defect, you will soon become useful"_

Moraine hawked back and spat at the wraith leaning over him, his eyes mocking his superior. The wraith growled, wiped the spit from his chin and struck him across the face, the blow stung but it was worth it, every inch of ground he gained was worth the pain.

"_You are of no value Defect, you are worthless to this Hive and this species, your kind would only taint the gene pool, but the Queen has thought of a way you can be useful, I hope it pleases you, Runner"_

The wraith left the room in a flutter of coat tails. Moraine could taste the blood welling in his mouth but the wound was already closing. Runner, so that was his fate, he sighed and gave the restraints one last half-hearted tug. To be hunted down and killed. How wonderful, fresh air to be looked forward to, he supposed, and lots of exercise. Chuckling feebly, he waited for someone to return. Several hours later a tall and burly wraith appeared at the doorway, holding a particularly large needle in one hand and wearing a particularly cruel smile. Moraine gulped.

"_Defect, you are too well equipped, in mind and body for us to just let you go like this, the Queen has ordered us to inject you with this serum and you will transported to a human facility to be broken. But here is the fun part. This serum is experimental, I cannot wait to see what it does"_

Moraine recognised the lime green substance. He'd seen the results of its usage.

"_Let us see you get out of this one Runner, lets see how long you go on without screaming after this"_

Moraine fell to pieces, pulling frantically at the wristbands, yanking and wrenching at them with all his strength, trying to escape that needle's point. The wraith walked forward and lifted it, enjoying the moment he saw Moraine panicking out of his mind. He screamed, that he did, he screamed for a long time after that. They pulled off the restraints and shoved him into a room, where he tried for hours to literally tear the burning liquid out of his veins as it seared every nerve and neuron, he blacked out when his heart couldn't keep up with the injuries and the stress. He woke up in the Doctor's Surgery, where he screamed lots more.

**The Present Day…**

Murry thought some more and edited parts out, the bits he couldn't bear to say out loud, as it would make them far too real to shut away. He told his tale quietly, shivering though the water was warm and staring into space frequently, losing his train of thought. Ronon gritted his teeth and when Murry finished, he lifted himself and the trembling wraith from the water, back to the Puddlejumper and they spent the night in there, the swimming lessons forgotten and for each of them, the nightmares remembered.

A/N I know I said I'd keep it light but I have discovered I have a particular "ailment" gives Steve exasperated look, which does not allow such fluffy and humorous goings on.

Steve the Plushie: nods smugly but realises everyone is looking at him and his eyes glance side to side as if to say nothing-to-do-with-me


	11. Home Is Now A Place

**In Atlantis…**

Sheppard leaned against the balustrade and waited. Ronon was scheduled to arrive back in a little while and he was just killing time till then, trying to stay out of the way of nearly everyone since the escapade in the cafeteria. He still liked the guy, having given the matter a lot of thought and deciding that forgiving him was not only the thing to do morally but also because it would be beneficial to the team. Groaning he looked back across the water, he sounded too much like a nerd even in his own head.

Rodney stood with his arms folded and his lips pursed in exasperation.

"Incompetent idiot"

He muttered under his breath, waiting for the end of the anxious mutterings of the new and utterly inexperienced "scientist". He was so bored he almost didn't notice when Dernock or Murdock, maybe Dinter, stopped talking.

Teyla sat in the centre of the room, her legs in the lotus position, her mind calm and tranquil for the first time since Moraine had joined the city. She had nothing against him after all Ronon trusted him and any friend of his etc. No, it was just that his presence disturbed her concentration and sleep; she found that her dreams had become darker and she woke often during the night.

Elizabeth Weir sat back in her chair at her desk and sighed, she stared at her out-box pile and realised that no matter how hard she worked it would always be her in-box pile that rose into the infinitive sky. Smiling reflectively, she decided to catch an early lunch.

Devi paced the balcony and wished fervently for something to punch, most righteously. Turi had fallen out with her, in his quietly furious way. The salty cool breeze helped a little but not much. She wanted to be doing something, there was always something to do back at the orphanage, walls to be patched, pests to kill, treasure to defend. She fell even deeper into an already cavernous strop.

Conner wandered the less populated corridors, searching for something to occupy himself until the return of Murry and, to a lesser extent, Ronon. Personally he had nothing against the man, but Ronon reminded him too much of Devi. He stopped at a fork in the route, sat and ate the sandwiches he'd kidnapped from the cafeteria when no one had been watching.

Turi sat with Charley in the cafeteria and watched as Elizabeth wandered in. She nodded to him and he smiled in response. Most of the adults didn't want much to do them, he'd realised this quickly. They all had their own jobs to be getting on with, he supposed, but there was so little that anyone seemed to actually be doing. He sighed; he was just tired and frustrated with his sister. Turi returned his attention to the despondent youngster; she was staring dolefully at the opposite wall and twiddling her thumbs back and forward.

"Murry will be back soon Charley"

She turned her head to look at him, her bottom lip trembling. She beamed and jumped into his arms, yelling joyously.

**Meanwhile…**

Ronon stared at the still slumbering Murry. He was curled up with his head tucked between his knees and his arms wrapped around his shins, he'd been so since the night before and it was afternoon now. He carefully lifted the sleeping wraith and tipped him into one of chairs at the front, strapping him in. He never even stirred. Ronon sat in the pilot seat and fired up, rising up into the blue sky. As he approached the Gate, he dialled the address, waited for a full three seconds and flew through, back into the Gate room of Atlantis. He returned the Puddlejumper to the hold. Landing was the easy part. Or so Sheppard had once said. He turned and Murry was still coiled on the seat, he looked less peaceful and more like ready to spring. Ronon shook his shoulder and indeed the wraith flew off the seat, bright eyed and bushy tailed.

"We're home"

Laughing Murry clapped Ronon on the shoulder and they left the Jumper. Charley was already running towards him, but he was ready for her. He caught her by the waist and burled her in the air but when he noticed everyone looking, he stopped, rested the child in the crook of his arm and coughed, feeling very self-conscious all of a sudden.

Sheppard nodded and Ronon knew everything was fine, he was happy with that. He nodded back and Teyla was straining with a forced smile.

"Everything okay?"

He asked her, she'd been looking a little tired lately, washed out and had gained some dark circles beneath her eyes. She seemed much better now.

"Yes I'm fine, how was your trip?"

Ronon shrugged dismissively and replied.

"It went okay, lots of sun, blue water, pretty boring really"

He'd created the answer on the way back; it was short enough to remember and casual enough not to encourage questions. Perfect.

Meanwhile, Murry was watching Devi and Turi; their body language was all off. The twins stood well away from each other, resonating resentment so thick he could almost taste it in the air. In fact, everyone seemed a little more down than usual. He shrugged it off and Charlotte began to pull while Jenny nudged him in the direction of the doors.

Following the girls prompt directions he found himself sitting on the floor of a bedroom, surrounded by little bobbles, elastic bands and two enthusiastic hairdressers. He closed his eyes and prayed for them not have found any scissors. Charlotte took one side and Jenny the other and together they began to comb and plait the tangled white hair. When brushed it was soft, like silk, and easy to manipulate. They finished, satisfied with the tight, neat and small plaits, there were dozens of them, all hanging perfectly. Murry opened his eyes timidly and fingered the plaits; he stood and left the two girls who were eagerly awaiting comment, searching for a mirror. He found one in the adjacent bathroom. Unlike most other wraith, he'd never had the time to take pride in his hair, instead leaving the dirt and muck to accumulate into one huge mess. But after the swimming and the brushing, it was wonderfully white and beautiful. He ran out smiling and hugged both Charlotte and Jenny. He promised them each a gift and left to show Ronon and the others.

He encountered much whispering talk as he walked, thoughtfully searching each place. It was as if they thought he couldn't hear them or that they didn't care whether he heard or not. A rush of anger rose in him, most likely as a result of the increased energy levels since the feeding. He quickly quashed it for fear of hurting someone, sometimes he forgot that humans were not like wraith and would not heal like them. Instead, he folded his arms and walked more quickly, his mood a less ecstatic than it was. He fingered one of the plaits, feeling a little humiliated at the cruel laughter and the clear contempt for his feelings. No matter what species, human or wraith, the majority travelled in packs and picked on those alone. Suddenly he realised that he wasn't alone now. With that thought, he smiled, continued with his head held high and whenever he passed a murmuring group, he growled loudly and they jumped out of their skins.


	12. Still Got Cracks in the Wall

Someone crouched on one knee, on a beach on the edge of a lake, sifting their hands through the slightly damp sand. It was late at night; two satellite moons hung high in the opposite quadrants of the sky, the light from them swallowed by a dark craft on the grassy bank further from the shore of the large black lake, where two ghostly circles were reflected on its surface.

"I almost have you, not long now"

Their voice was thin with lack of use and as this, mysterious, someone returned to their ship, cruel and bone-chilling chuckling ricocheted across the lake.

**In Atlantis…**

Teyla sat with Ronon in the cafeteria, eating their lunch and while eating, they chatted about non-sequential things but the subject matter soon turned to Murry.

"What I do not understand is how he escaped…perhaps he didn't?"

She said the last part gently, not wanting to offend him or Ronon but the insinuation was clear. Ronon said nothing and stared at Teyla, thinking about the implications. "He isn't an idiot"

Ronon remarked, defending the fact that no matter what happened or how he conducted himself, Murry was still resourceful and bright.

"I'm aware of that Ronon, all I'm saying is that perhaps circumstances were engineered…"

"And all I'm saying is he would know a set-up"

Ronon said through gritted teeth. Teyla nodded and said no more to aggravate the situation, finished her lunch and went to leave. She quickly decided to pursue her line of thought with Moraine and try to discern what really happened. She was about to go and ask Doug, the "Cameraman" everyone called him, when she saw Murry in her troubled mind's eye, standing on the far balcony, poised on the top railing.

She ran swiftly through the empty corridors and burst onto the veranda to see him indeed on the railing with his eyes closed but pacing back and forwards, smiling faintly. Teyla was hesitant to disturb him at this dangerous and precarious practice and was about to back out when he opened his eyes, jumped onto the balcony and furrowed his brow at the sudden sight of her.

"Y-you d-didn't c-come j-just t-to s-say h-hi I-I s-suppose?"

"No, I didn't, Moraine"

His face fell to give no expression but he was panicking madly inside. She looked to his eyes though and in them, she could see the anxiety and a certain sadness. She did not want him to worry or be afraid and so set to soothe him.

"It's okay, I'm not going to hurt you"

He was staring far into space and seemed not to hear her.

"Murry? Are you okay?"

She put her hand on his shoulder and the link between her and the wraith flared like a gaping hole suddenly filled with burning fire. Teyla wrenched back her hand but Murry just cocked his hand at her and smiled forlornly.  
"What was that?"

He shrugged and began to walk away; she grabbed his over-sized shirt by the fist-full and yelled the question again, but instead of a response, or even anger, Murry recoiled and stammered.

"L-let g-go, it w-was n-nothing"

She let him go, too stunned at her own behaviour to say anything and let him hurry away, trying to ignore the look he threw over his shoulder. The sort of look a rabbit would give an idling fox. She was about to return to her room and meditate over the matter at hand when she heard whispers that caught at her and spun round her like a teasing breeze.

"Worthless…Not worth the inconvenience…weak, so weak…let the darkness have him…experimental…better…smarter…faster…find him…find it…Find It…FIND IT!"

Faster and louder, they became, until they were wrenching screams that threatened to corrupt her eardrums, when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Murry stood beside her and the whirlwind of voices faded until silent.

"You s-should n-not h-have h-had t-to h-hear t-them"

She was shaken and he walked her to her room, the silence more comforting than words. But the questions, she could not hold back.

"Are they coming for you?"

"Y-yes"

"When?"

"W-whenever t-they f-find m-me. I-I e-escaped t-them once b-before b-but now…"

She felt the red rising in her cheeks from the tone in his crackling voice.

"I am sorry Murry but you know I have to tell Elizabeth, don't you?"

"Y-yes"

He sighed his reply; he knew this day would come. In a fit of despair, he wondered if they would see fit to execute him and not risk the wrath of another attack on their beautiful city. The fright rose in him. If he were going to survive, he would have to leave this all behind. He would have to leave Ronon, be alone again, running, always having to stay one step ahead; it was so hard, so cold and it was unavoidable they'd catch him again and have their way. But, a voice said louder than the rest, the children would be safe from them. A thin sob escaped him and before Teyla could reassure him, he was gone at double-quick speed, off to find a place to bury the crippling weight of the responsibility.

Teyla spoke quickly into her earpiece, first to Ronon then to Elizabeth. She felt disloyal for doing so but the unfathomably deep despair she saw in him was worrying to say the least. Ronon set out immediately to find him, but it was a large city and so she asked Rodney to locate him instead. He muttered away quickly to someone and returned the location to her. She began to run, informing Ronon as she ran.

"What did you say to him for him to run off?"

Ronon's question was a fair one and she wanted to answer it truthfully.

"They're tracing him somehow, Ronon, they're still after him"

"He thought we'd kill him…"

"What?!"

She started, no wonder he was so upset.

"Or throw him off the city"

She made no attempt to justify herself to Ronon; it was hard enough trying to justify it to herself. Suddenly they came face to face, both rounding the opposite corners to the door to the room in which Rodney said he was.

"Wait here"

Teyla stared hard at Ronon.

"Just wait here"

She decided it would be better for all involved if she didn't argue and let him have his way, especially Murry.

Ronon walked through the doorway and into the room without waiting for a response, this was something he'd have approach alone, Murry might be scared or even violent, with all that newfound energy, Ronon couldn't be sure. It wasn't a particularly large room but it had many nooks and crannies where someone of Murry's short and thin stature could hide quite effectively.

"Murry, you in here buddy?"

He could hear him sniffling softly.

"G-go a-away"

His voice was soft and faint with tears. Ronon wandered around the room, trying futilely to keep him talking, when he found him, almost dripping up on one of his legs. A pool of blood surrounded him and soaked his clothes, his face was completely distraught and he looked a little lost, the tears were still wet on his cheeks, the redness still vivid under his nails and on his hands but only the scars of his efforts were left.

"I-I j-just k-keep h-healing R-Ronon, I-I c-can't k-keep t-them open"

Ronon kneeled and took his hand.

"Come on Buddy, let's get you cleaned up"

"B-but I-I d-don't…"

Ronon was hearing none of it, he picked Murry up by one arm, ignoring the protests, and led him outside. Teyla stood and stared at the blood and blenched. She took his other arm but Ronon didn't look at her, using all his patience to try and keep Murry walking instead of just collapsing onto the floor and lying there akin to a puddle of despair.

A/N I really can't help myself, bad things happen and happen and oh-my-god they happen again to destroy the fragile little happinesses, what can I say, I have him 'points to Steve'.

Steve the Plushie : 'growls in a most satisfied fashion'


	13. Plotting The Map

Ronon sat Murry beneath the cold running shower and Teyla first-hand observed the bond between them as the wraith, without opening his tightly closed eyes, lifted his arms in time to allow Ronon to remove the saturated top.

"You're okay buddy, you're okay"

Murry rolled his head to the side, amusement playing across his face as he shivered under the icy water.

Ronon murmured something too low for Teyla to hear but Murry heard it and chuckled darkly, cracking open one of his golden and blue eyes.

"I-I'm n-nothing b-but t-t-trouble"

"You shut your mouth and give me a little help here"

Murry grunted and kicked off the drenched combats. Teyla stared at the slender wraith, his chest were criss-crossed with more scars, and the deepest ran in a straight purple line from his throat to his belly button and then continued below the hem of his navy undershorts.

"E-e-everything's l-l-lost"

Murry's speech was unstable with emotion, his eye began to spasm and Ronon tried to ignore Teyla's presence behind him as he comforted him, trying to calm him quickly.

"Everything's not lost"

Murry swatted at Ronon's hand as he tried to scrub off the dried blood on his wrists.

"You know that you're hopeless don't you?"

"Y-yes I-I-I k-know, I-I'm c-completely useless"

Murry banged his head against the tiles in complete frustration. Ronon plucked Murry's wrists and washed them of the blood, laughing as he did so.

"W-why a-are you l-laughing a-at m-me?"

Ronon shook his head, happy that the glassy dead look of his eyes had left and the attentive glint had returned to those big blue and golden orbs of Murry's.He picked the wraith up by the forearm, helping him up and out of the shower.

"Because you're going to be just fine"

Murry blinked and nodded, smiling thoughtfully.

"M-maybe I a-am, m-maybe I j-just m-might b-be"

Teyla watched, completely astounded in Murry's transformation, going from traumatised to hopeful in an instant. She slowly and carefully touched across his mind, she felt the same anxiety and fear she did on the balcony but now it was contained within a thin membrane, still whirling and growing just beneath it. Ronon grabbed a towel and threw it to the wraith, who began to dry his pleated hair. Teyla stood for a moment, feeling like the only rational person alive.

"There is still…"

Ronon cut her off with a wave of his hand and a dark look.

"This is enough Ronon, stop it"

She'd had enough of this surreal world that seemed separated from everything else, where there was only a population of two, Ronon and a crazy, rather dangerous, wraith.

"We have to explain _everything_ to Elizabeth, if you won't then I will"

She spun out of the bathroom, leaving Murry confused and Ronon somewhat stunned.

"W-what j-just h-happened?"

Ronon bit his lip and exhaled noisily but said nothing. Murry didn't press the issue and decided to just go with the flow. The Satedan rubbed his brow, threw some dry clean clothes to Murry and left in the direction of Elizabeth's office.

"When you're ready, come through to Weir's office"

He shouted back to Murry as he held yet another bundle of too large and loose fitting clothes. The bemused wraith smiled and nodded.

Ronon strode forward through the corridor, trying to pull together some words to make clear of a situation when it wasn't really clear to him. He was on the edge of returning to his own room when Teyla began to walk towards him, wearing an expression of relief.

"I'm glad you're coming too. Where is Moraine?"

"I-I'm h-h-here"

Murry appeared like a ghost behind them, holding the waist of the baggy grey trousers to stop them falling and a navy top that reached his thighs. He was smiling and still wearing that bemused expression.

"I-I t-think t-t-these m-might b-be a l-little t-too b-big"

Teyla shook her head and looked down to the wraith as she would a young child, which he did seem, with the almost comically too large clothes and innocent, naïve expression.

"You do realise the gravity of the situation here Moraine, don't you?"

She watched the wraith shuffled uncomfortably until he slowly shook his head.

"I-I r-really d-don't w-want t-to know a-again"

Ronon ruffled Murry's hair, much to Teyla's dismay, and they continued on in silence. When they reached Elizabeth's office, she was sitting at her desk, her auburn hair curled behind her ears and her marsh-green eyes focused on the paper in front of her. Ronon tapped the outside of the doorway and she looked up with a smile, which fell when she saw their expressions. Teyla asked for her to call a meeting in the conference room, which she did after some quick summarisations by the Athosian.

Murry sat on one of the chairs, twisting the hem of the t-shirt in his hands and staring blankly at the desk. The panic that he'd managed to hide away was chewing through to the surface like a vicious sewer rat, and when it got all the way, which it eventually would, he wasn't sure he'd be able to keep it under control. He averted his attention from his own immediate future troubles to Teyla, as she spoke to John, Rodney, Ronon and Elizabeth.

"…I felt with definite instinct that something is tracking Moraine, how, I am not sure, but something is coming for him and I do not think that they would hesitate to destroy the city or us, to get to him"

Ronon leaned against the wall, scowling fiercely as he did so. John sat right back in his chair and Rodney groaned. Teyla continued, gesturing to Murry.

"Moraine, do you know who is chasing you?"

Murry murmured something indistinct beneath his breath, closed his eyes and tapped out a rhythm on the wood of the desk with his nails. Teyla was about to repeat the question when the wraith looked up solemnly.

"I-I t-think I-I d-do"

He whispered the words so quietly that if the group had been anywhere but the silent conference room, they'd be lost in the most gentle of winds.

"Y-yes I-I t-t-think I-I d-do, b-but it d-does n-not m-make any d-difference f-for me"

Teyla could feel the thin membrane containing the violent fear beginning to tear. She enquired, to try and keep him talking and not focused on his panic.

"What do you mean it doesn't make any difference?"

But the wraith said no more; instead, he rose and moved to walk out of the room but Ronon stood in front of the exit. Murry stared up at the Satedan and hissed in desperation, right at the back of his throat.

"I-I d-don't w-want t-to, l-let m-me g-go, I-I j-just w-want t-to s-sleep w-with n-no nightmares, t-that's all I-I w-want R-Ronon, I w-want t-to…"

The wraith stopped mid-sentence, his eyes widening quickly and he spun like a top towards the desk, causing everyone to jump to their feet. He scrambled for a piece of paper and a pen and began to scribble, holding the pen unsteadily in his fist. They stared over his shoulder as he scratched the symbols into the paper. Rodney swore under his breath and reached for his own pad and pencil. He began to talk.

"…Way back when that Hive was here, I translated the gate name addresses from wraith, it seemed a pointless thing to do at the time but now…"

As Murry finished and flung the paper onto the desk, Rodney had the gate address beside it. The wraith stared at it.

"T-t-that's w-w-w-where I-I w-was, w-w-we h-h-h-have t-to g-g-go t-there"

And while everyone was still listening to Rodney, Murry slipped quickly out of the room, Ronon noticed but let him go with a compassionate nod, and the wraith ran quickly to his own bedroom. He madly dragged the covers from the cot, pulled the lamp from the desk and curled up beneath the bed with the light switched on, where he stayed until he fell into an uneasy nightmarish sleep.

A/N Mucho thanks, of course, to Amaruk Wolfheart of the Wraith, Lil Red Soldier, Katyusha, Gatehead, E. and Frankie the Elf for your reviews, I am very grateful to all of you, but also thanks goes to anyone who has read this fic.

Steve the Plushie: 'nods in agreement'

Smile you happy deserving people!


	14. Destination Unknown

It was near three in the morning but Ronon couldn't sleep and found himself outside Murry's door. He was standing for a few moments trying to think of a valid reason to knock when the door opened, Murry stood rubbing his eye with his the back of his fist, looking quite exhausted.

"H-hi R-R-Ronon, w-what is it?"

Ronon stumbled around for a moment.

"Nothing, can't sleep, wondered if you were"

The wraith looked behind him for a moment.

"N-no"

He walked out into the corridor, shutting his door behind him. He was wearing just a pair of crumpled black pyjama trousers with the bottoms folded up twice over to stop him tripping over.

"W-why are all t-the e-extra c-clothes w-way t-too b-big?"

Ronon pondered this.

"I suppose because you can't make stuff bigger without extra material, just smaller"

Murry chuckled and while he stumbled, Ronon strode and together they wandered aimlessly through the city, hoping to find some elusive sleep.

Sheppard lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling, going over the vaguest plan he'd ever heard.

"Step One – Send in probe. Step Two – (assuming planet is safe) Find Facility, Sciencey Thingy"

He groaned in frustration and turned over onto his side, his annoyance somehow aiding his insomnia and he fell into a deep dreamless sleep.

Devi sat opposite Turi and stared at an angle to the floor while she talked in a quiet subdued tone, avoiding his intense gaze. He watched his sister closely while she spoke.

"And anyway Turi I'm really sorry for saying all those things and being such an ass"

He nodded, his legs crossed and his head held up with the tips of his fingers. He got up and hugged Devi, who returned his embrace.

"I know you're sorry Devi, but you're not an ass, there is no need to be insulting to yourself…"

She laughed and they sat back down on the floor. Turi's expression turned serious as he continued.

"…I've been watching what's going on, something big is happening. Something to do with Murry, something bad"

Devi was already on her feet, despite the time, and ready to jump into action. Her brother, as always, was delighted by her display of loyalty and energy but sighed.

"There is nothing you can do Devi, this is for Murry and the adults to face alone, like I said before, this is big and bad"

"But we can help, I can help"

"No…you can't Devi, this is over your head"

She exhaled fiercely.

"I hate this, never being able to do anything about anything. Why is the world like this, it's stupid, I'm not a little kid"

"I know Devi, but we need to stay alive, I have a suspicion that Murry is going to need us in the days ahead, all of us"

Devi bobbed her head slightly and sat down with a thud. She trusted in her brother's acute instinct for the future more than her own strength but she was so mad.

Ronon and Murry ended up in the cafeteria, sitting at one of the long tables.

"I-I b-bet y-you're e-enjoying the f-fact t-that w-we're w-walking into t-the f-fire"

"Oh yeah, love it"

Murry yawned laboriously; stretching gracefully upwards in a lesser tribute to his more refined roots but all the resemblance was lost when he slumped back into the chair.

"I-I'm t-too n-nervous t-to s-sleep"

What Murry really meant was that he couldn't sleep for the fear. But saying it out loud would make it far too terrifying, better to joke and lie, even if Ronon knew what was written between the lines.

"Everything's gonna be fine, you know, we're gonna take this guy down, whoever he is, and blow up whatever's there, if anything, then come home. Just wait and see Murry, it'll be like clockwork"

"I-Indeed"

Murry knew deep in his gut that no matter how much he wished, it would never happen like that but he said nothing. Ronon seemed so sure, so convincing, that the Satedan might have almost persuaded himself.

"Look at that"

Murry turned to see the sun creeping over the hazy blue horizon.

"W-we b-better s-start g-getting r-ready"

**Three Hours Later…**

Rodney was grumbling about how early these missions were becoming, having been up half the night with a witless supervisor who couldn't understand that when the light on an ancient device was flashing blue, it meant the device was stable. He grumbled some more before boarding the jumper and sitting in his seat, the last to do so. Murry and Ronon had been there for three quarters of an hour, both still swapping looks and laughing between them at the jokes exchanged in the time. John sat in the pilot seat, feeling very comfortable to be back in it. Teyla just sat, quite quiet, having spent the night drenched in sweat from nightmares that did not belong to her.

"Everybody ready? Right Elizabeth, dial the Gate"

Elizabeth motioned and when the Stargate was finished dialling, the Puddlejumper flew forward through the wormhole and into the world beyond.

Murry recognised the low grey building immediately when they flew out the other side, except the last time he'd saw the outside of it, it had been dark…and raining.

**Eighteen Years In The Past…**

The sky had split open and emptied its stockpile of rain and thunder. This night was one of secrets and pain; an atmosphere bred for screaming and indeed, this particular birthright was not ignored. Ten men marched around a slow going truck that moved in the direction of the Stargate while two wraith superiors, a prisoner and nine of their guards walked away from an open Gate.

The prisoner in question was shackled by the wrists between two of the burly guards, pulled along with his head down and when he stumbled was yanked from his muddy knees back onto his feet. While on his knees he looked up and caught sight of a low- lying building in the gloomy distance. An idea came to him.

"_The defect is ready for transfer, humans, keep an eye on this one"_

The wraith in front spoke in clipped exact tones that left no room for argument. One of the men dressed in a heavy rain-drenched white coat hurried forward, accompanied by five husky men.

"I trust there has been no problem?"

"_None yet"_

The man nodded once in the direction of the wraith, but it was also a cue to the soldiers behind him. They carefully manoeuvred to both sides of the prisoner and just when the humans snatched his chains, Moraine wrenched backwards, tearing two of the soldiers and one wraith off of their feet and into the mud. He laughed madly, high and animated, he'd have jumped away had one of the wraith guards not still had one of their hands wrapped around his fetters.

"How does it feel to be lying in the mud, where you belong? Does it feel like home?"

He screamed at the humans and wraith still lying in the slippery sludge. Twisting quickly to the guard who still held his shackles, he lunged at him, seized his wrist with his teeth and bit down hard, releasing a cascade of red liquid. All of it happened so quickly that the wraith threw Moraine off and down into the mud in shock.

Moraine scrambled forward and grabbed onto one of the soldiers, tossing off the others, his fingers found the man's chest and he fed, still yelling over the sound of thunder. The man was dead by the time the wraith guards grabbed him and knocked him unconscious.

A/N Steve the Plushie : 'sighs with Rodney-sized exasperation'

Me : Look it isn't my fault that I enjoy a few cough-dozen-cough breaks

Steve : 'Growls menacingly'

Me : Eek.

Thanks mucho to (as always) Amaruk Wolfheart of the Wraith, Katyusha and Wraithlover for the latest reviews but smiles go to everyone else who read and found themselves unable to push the button. In fact, lots of smiles all around and cookies...and chocolate...marshmallows...excuse me...I find myself drawn to the kitchen for some reason...


	15. Returning to Home Ground

John pulled the Puddlejumper down onto the grassy plain just beyond the Gate, shielding it as he did so, and turned to Rodney, who was scanning the area with his palm pilot.

"It looks abandoned, there's no one around here, but I can't be sure about inside the building"

Everyone sat for a moment, digesting this and looked towards Murry, who warily stared beyond the screen at the bland grey stone building. John got up and gestured to the door.

"Well come on, we aren't gonna find anything sitting here"

All smiling faintly but for Murry, they hurried off the ship. The wraith hadn't moved from the seat and his sharp-nailed fingers were burrowing into the armrest, when Ronon glanced back, he seemed so young and unhappy, his slight frame dwarfed by the ship and his eyes closed and face pinched by fear. Ronon padded quickly back up the aisle and tapped his shoulder.

"Are you coming?"

Murry shook his head grimly, a bead of sweat running down his forehead.

"Yes you are, come on"

Ronon unbuckled the wraith, grabbed his left forearm and attempted to drag him from the seat but Murry wedged his feet underneath, becoming as movable as a stubborn octopus.

"I-I a-ain't c-coming"

"Oh yeah you are"

Ronon pulled with almost all his strength and Murry's arm was yanked from its socket with a loud, horrid crack. The wraith repressed a scream and Ronon issued a sharp intake of breath as he tripped backwards, dropping the limb. Murry panted heavily as it hit the chair, stood and, cringing painfully, he popped it back in against the wall.

"Y-you'll p-pay f-for t-that S-Satedan"

Murry said menacingly with more than a little amusement. Ronon laughed uneasily, not sure quite how much was a joke.

"You're joking, right?"

The wraith said nothing and walked away towards the exit, he turned his head and smirked conspiratorially.

"W-we'll s-see"

Ronon shook his head in faux disdain and followed Murry out into the sunshine. Teyla observed with a hawk-like eye how the wraith cradled his arm and the guilt on Ronon's face, even if it was only for an instant. She decided to pay a little more attention to the goings on between them. John raised his eyebrow and they set off in the direction of the bland edifice, with Murry, and Ronon as it were, lagging even further behind than Rodney, who was working on boosting the signal of his palm pilot.

"Keep your chin up"

Murry stared in puzzlement up at Ronon but said nothing, just bobbed his head. He frowned thoughtfully and continued on at a double quick pace, catching up with and passing Rodney, John and Teyla, Ronon right behind him.

"W-wait"

They stopped in a ragged line. Murry walked forward carefully and fell to his knees and cocked his head to the side, plunged his hand into the long grass and pulled up a suspicious black web-thin string.

"S-sensor"

He put his hand to the small of his back and produced a knife. John and Teyla exchanged anxious, each inching their hands a little closer to the guns around their necks. Ronon was a little stunned and even more impressed on the inside but on the outside, he remained indifferent. Murry did not cut the chord but using the edge, scraped away at the PVC coating to reveal red, blue and green wires. He murmured something under his breath and cut the blue wire.

"B-blue c-cuts t-the s-signal b-but n-not t-to c-computer"

He nodded, satisfied with his decision and stood up. It was then that Teyla understood some of Ronon's argument for the wraith, he seemed very competent, but it was only one incident, so she resolved to watch ever more closely. She really wanted to find a reason to see what Ronon saw in Murry, she did like him, the little aimless gestures and stumbling speech, but she was taking more time than she thought to get over the exterior. Perhaps it was the betrayal that surrounded the incidents with Michael and his response to being isolated. She mentally shook herself from the past memories and continued on behind the wraith, who had gained a confidence she hadn't seen before.

"T-they'll s-still h-have t-traps l-lying about e-even if t-they're g-gone"

John stared down at the naked wire and continued on, slightly unnerved. Rodney too, glanced down at the cable and felt a little unsettled, he shuffled after the suddenly quite sure-of-himself wraith. Ronon kept up with Murry and walking side by side, Ronon had the courage of privacy to ask.

"If you find the people who did this to you, what'll you do to them"

Murry's eyes flashed wild for the briefest of moments, Ronon heard a soft _shikh _as the wraith's claws unsheathed, but it was only for that instant.

"I-I d-d-don't k-k-know"

The thought of revenge made him nervous, very nervous. Much like he stood on a thin covering of ice above the brink of a dark abyss from which he would not escape again

"I-It's n-never c-crossed m-my m-mind"

That was another lie, much to his shame to lie to Ronon, of all people. Every night and day since he could remember he'd imagined all the sorts of things he'd love to do to those bastards, those faces imprinted on his mind, even those hidden behinds masks, the recurring voices that would never leave him. Oh, the things he would love to do to them.

Ronon saw and knew well the look that fluttered across Murry's face. If they did meet up with anyone Murry recognised, Ronon would neither stand in his way, nor pull him from whomever the luckless soul may be.

They reached the door, unaware of the camera that spied their arrival and oblivious to those watching them closely on the other side of the monitors, though Ronon, Teyla and Murry did feel the prickle of watching eyes. The wraith crept forward as he inspected the entrance carefully and was about to move forward when something caught his eye.

"H-hey you g-guys…"

But Murry never finished; instead, he fell onto the stone steps that led to the door, bursting his nose against the rock and sending red flecks flying onto the grey. Ronon collapsed in a last ditch effort to grab him. Teyla turned to run but she too dropped like a stone. John followed her immediately in falling onto the grass. Rodney scrambled to run but in doing so sealed his fate in his first big breath, which sent him to the ground.

As they lay, limbs akimbo and far from consciousness, a troop of gas-masked, white-clad scientists marched like soldiers from the entrance and using stretchers, carried the five of them inside, the door swinging shut behind them and slamming closed, with a resonating and final thud.

A/N I wish to thank Wraithlover and Amaruk Wolfheart of the Wraith for the latest reviews 'hands out cookies to all' I would like to make clear the fact that I am going to get you all fat on a diet of virtual thankful cookies Mwhahahahaha

Steve the Plushie: 'Rolls eyes'


	16. Tripping Over the Blurred Line

As Ronon came round, he was aware of something watching him. He could its eyes moving over him in a cold and clinical fashion, he also became aware of the fact that he was near naked, very cold and that he couldn't move. A tinny artificial voice sounded somewhere above him.

"He is in good condition, like the others, put him in C-13"

He had the sense of movement then none at all. He felt a sharp pain in his neck and a fiery sensation spread to every part of his body, it hurt but the pain was warm and thawed his limbs, after a while he could move them and he opened his eyes. He was in a stone cell, with only a bed, sink and grubby toilet. Surrounded one three walls of stone and one of thick metal bars, he groaned and looked across to the cell opposite from his own. In the parallel identical room, lay Murry. For a moment, Ronon thought he was dead. His eyes were open, staring dead and numb, at a point in front of him, his face was a bloody mess, his nose swollen. But he blinked, breaking the illusion of death.

"Murry, do you hear me?"

The wraith's eyes flickered a little but he didn't respond. Ronon was about to repeat his question when multiple footsteps began to sound off down the corridor. This brought Murry back to awareness. He sat up and scuttled quickly backwards on his butt, his chest rising and falling rapidly, his eyes wide with panic and he began to chant what Ronon thought was nonsense in a quick highly stuttering voice.

"S-sneka h-h-hondu p-p-pirt, s-s-sneka h-h-hondu p-p-pirt, s-sneka…"

"It's gonna be okay Murry, just don't panic"

Three men wearing white lab coats stopped outside Murry's cell, blocking Ronon's view. He could hear the murmur of conversation before one of them brandished a cattle prod. The sound of shocks and the smell of burning filled the air. They dragged the unconscious wraith out with no regard to his wellbeing and that filled Ronon with a strange kind of fear. He was about to run at the bars when Murry bucked violently in their grip, he twisted to Ronon and scrambled but one of the men still had his legs. He grabbed Ronon's outstretched hand.

"D-Don't l-l-let t-them g-g-get m-me R-R-Ronon. L-let m-me g-go. R-R-Ronon, d-don't l-let t-t-them t-take m-me t-t-there, p-please, p-p-please…"

Murry screamed with so much fear and his eyes filled with such naked pleading that Ronon held on longer than he should have, but the scientist with the cattle prod was eager to deliver a unique brand onto Ronon's skin. He yelled and fell back from the shock, cursing the scientist with everything he knew, but it didn't make any difference. The desperate noise of Murry's terrified screaming still haunted him beyond the time when it became silent.

Rodney sat curled up on a cold stone floor, trying not to shriek in the dark. But it was not the dark of a passing cloud, not even the dark of night but the complete dark of the bottom of the ocean, of the depths of space far from any stars. It made no difference whether he had his eyes open or closed. He chewed his lip, trying fervently to remember what the light looked like.

Teyla awoke to the sound of strangled wailing. She found herself tied tightly to a chair in front of five screens, one of them black. On the others, she could see her team mates. Rodney's monitor was grainy and grey but he was still recognisable in it, Ronon was pacing in a stone cell, his face twisted in rage, John lay unconscious on the floor of a cell much like Ronon's and when she turned to see the last, she whimpered in repulsion. Murry lay strapped to a table, screaming and screeching, as a man in full surgeon scrubs, wielding a scalpel, cut a long line from his lapel to his navel, reopening the old wound. Without a surgeon's refinement or grace, the man abruptly pulled apart the two halves of skin, showering the room in blood, Murry's screams grew higher and more pain-stricken until he passed out. Teyla closed her eyes to try and block out the horrific sight when a tinny voice sounded from above her.

"Teyla Immagen, does this frighten you? Answer yes or no"

She felt the bile rise in her throat.

"If you do not answer then…"

The man in scrubs lifted a long manual saw and Murry came back around, his screams piercing her conscious, inside and out.

"…This will happen again"

He lowered the saw and ran it sharply down the wraith's ribcage. She yelled in time with his screams, feeling only the dullest edge of his pain.

"Yes…yes this frightens me"

"Good, because if you do not comply then the creature will be disposed and the procedures will begin on Ronon Dex, who I assure you, for all his vigour, will not survive. Await further instructions"

She could imagine breaking down and crying at this point but didn't give those watching her the satisfaction.

"You all deserve to rot in hell"

She whispered with conviction under her breath as she watched the man in scrubs lift the saw once more and flaunt its bloody sharp edge to the camera.

Drip…drip…drip. John Sheppard awoke to the constant noise of falling water. He sat up, cradling his head in the palm of his hand as it thumped. He looked around with one eye open, spying the camera mounted in the top corner of the ceiling and the running tap. He stood carefully, wincing as the blood rushed to his head, and turned the handle to off, cutting the flow of water into the sink. He looked out and saw an empty cell. He called out and was answered by a aggravated Ronon.

"Hey Ronon, where are you?"

"Just a couple of cells up"

"Do you know where everybody else is?"

The Satedan paused.

"…No"

He fell silent after that and John took the hint, but the quiet irritated him because it wasn't the composed and easy hush of say a library, more the calm before a violent storm. Ronon didn't care; he felt not just frustrated at his own situation but feared what was happening to Murry.

**Meanwhile In Atlantis…**

Turi sat in a semi circle with the others. Charley sat on his knee, abnormally distant and subdued for a three year old. Devi reclined against the leg of a chair, listening intently to her brother. Charlotte and Jenny held tentative hands in the face of their fear, trying to make sense of their elder's words; Jake, Allie, Dominic and Serak sat in stunned silence. Conner chewed his lip, caught on threshold of agreeing with Turi and aggressively opposing it.

"I overheard two guards speaking about it. Murry and the others have been captured, they haven't been heard from since they left. One said to the other that it would be smart to imagine the worst. If adults believe this, then we probably shouldn't, since adults seem naturally pessimistic…"

Charley perked at the mention of Murry's name but began to cry, much unlike her usually bubbly attitude. Turi rocked her, whispering comforting words but nothing would soothe her. The children didn't allow him to finish his speech though, instead he was silenced and took by the arm by the twin girls and they made their way to Murry's room. Together they huddled in his room and fell asleep that way, found eventually by a scientist, who had neither the heart nor courage to disturb them.

A/N I wrote this chapter listening to Savin' Me by Nickelback. Oh-My-God I almost cried 'sniffles'. But anyway, I want to thank Amaruk Wolfheart of the Wraith (as always), Frankie the Elf and Lymbis for the most recent and delicious reviews. 'grins'

Steve the Plushie: 'picks up and stares at socks in scepticism and puzzlement'


	17. The Brutal Satisfaction

It was two o'clock in the morning (not that Ronon knew it as he lay on the bed pretending to be deep in sleep) when Murry was returned to his cell. As soon as the scientists left, he looked over and heaved emptily at the state of him. The wraith was unconscious and for that Ronon was thankful, the sight of him awake would be almost unbearable. His chest had been ripped open, from neck to belly, and the pale juts of white of his ribcage poked through the red. Masses of blood drained from the wound and down his front. Just when Ronon thought it couldn't get much worse for his friend, Murry began to moan groggily.

"S-s-snegth g-gogriah t-tumin"

"It's Ronon buddy, try not to talk, just go back to sleep"

And as the drug that had knocked him out on the journey from the surgery to his cell began to wear off, he became more aware and less numb.

"O-oh g-g-god"

"No, don't open your eyes Murry"

But it was too late and as Murry stared at his open opened front, he began to cry, the tears winding painfully down his cheeks.

"I-I-It h-h-hurts"

Ronon stared at the wraith as he lay propped up against the wall, his chest cracked open and bleeding, his expression twisted in sorrow and pain, Ronon resolved to kill a lot of people in a most horrific fashion for this.

"I-I-I c-c-can't…"

Murry's voice began to grow weak, fading to a quiet whisper. Ronon bit his lip, and swallowing the sick that tried to force it's way up, he said.

"You're okay Murry, you've survived this before and you are going to again"

The wraith's eyes rolled up and closed, Ronon panicked and began to yell at him.

"Don't you dare die on me, don't you dare"

Murry could feel the blood draining from his body and strangely enough, it seemed to be filling up his eyes and everything was growing dark with it. Irritating little puddles of black blood pooled across his vision and when he tried to swat them away, he found that he couldn't lift his arms because they were far too heavy, much like lead weights. Just when it felt like he was swimming in liquid darkness, far from light, he heard someone shouting furiously at him. It sounded like Ronon, but it couldn't be him, Murry thought, in a weird non-linear thinking sort of way. He was home in Atlantis with a little blonde haired blue-eyed girl called Charley who giggled, two teenagers called Turi and Devi, four boys called Allie Jake Serak and Dominic and two other girls, Jenny and Charlotte, who did his hair all nice and white. It sure was nice, he thought, to see his hair all nice like that…

"Don't you dare fucking go"

All of sudden he hit the surface of the water and light coloured dots swam across his eyes. He coughed up a clot of blood and saw the damage was healing; the skin was sewing itself back together, slowly but surely, his stupid graceless body was doing something right.

"I-I-I a-ain't g-g-going a-anywhere y-yet R-R-Ronon D-Dex"

Ronon found himself laughing along with Murry in a dangerously hysterical fashion. When the chuckles eventually petered out, the Satedan found that he had run out of breath and the wraith was coughing up more blood. They were still smiling, just a little, when they heard the rhythmical tapping of footsteps down the hall.

Teyla was exhausted but did not allow herself to sleep. She had watched how they'd split Murry open, she'd forced herself to watch it, not letting anything go unnoticed or ignored, for the more she watched the more the anger inside her grew and she would need that anger. She would need it in the hours to come; this was something she knew for sure. It was well past four o'clock when the voice contacted her again.

"Did you find that an interesting watch Teyla Immagen? Answer yes or no"

"No"

She said through gritted teeth.

"What a pity, I, however, found it incredibly interesting. Did you see how much blood there was? It must have hurt to warrant all that needless screaming. But did you notice that for the most part it screamed in Common Tongue, for your friend Ronon no less; this must make you angry at least, that a creature of such evil should call upon Ronon Dex for salvation? These are rhetorical questions which you do not need to answer but by all means contemplate their solutions…"

She was at the very edge of screaming herself, only just managing to restrain the noise in her throat. She wanted to shout that Murry was a good person, not an evil thing, and that whoever was on the other end deserved to be put through it more than anyone she knew, just to see if they screamed so unnecessarily, when it asked.

"…But do you want to see if Ronon Dex screams for you under the knife? Answer yes or no"

"NO!"

The tinny artificial voice chuckled darkly and Teyla was alarmed by that laugh and the inside joke it seemed to hold.

"That is all, Teyla Immagen. Await further Instructions"

She felt almost relieved, until she looked back at the screens. In the monitor that showed the still bloody surgery, strapped to the still bloody table, was Murry and he was silent, his face pinched in cold and frightened determination.

"You bastards, let him go, he has suffered enough, let him go!"

She shouted until she was hoarse, but the voice from above was silent and all she could hear was the silence that seemed to swallow up everything else. She focused on the screen and, with tears sparking at the sides of her eyes, she watched.

Rodney was rocking now, back and forward, hoping that everything would be all right. He never thought he'd go to pieces this quickly. Never in a million years. But his head pounded, he felt weak and faint and every nerve in the tips of his fingers seemed to be on constant fire. And he yearned for light, any light. He was almost on the point of plain and wild panic when he got his wish and what seemed to him to be a thousand watts of light poured into the cell, burning the flash into his retinas.

John lay on the bed, fast asleep, when he awoke to the sound of Ronon shrieking and yelling, and the recession of the patter of footsteps. He rubbed his eyes, sat up and asked, when Ronon stopped shouting.

"What's happened Ronon?"

"They've took him again, those fucking bastards, they've took him away"

"We'll get out of here. We all will"

He got no answer and retired back onto his bed, knowing that if he ever spent a whole year without being captured, he'd buy himself a big old cake, with chocolate frosting.

Murry lay perfectly still, letting the ice water flow through his veins, cutting everything down to a single moment in time when he felt reality become completely solid. He was so deep in concentration that he almost didn't recognise it when the moment came. The surgeon, smiling behind the mask, leaned over him and whispered into his ear.

"Do you remember me defect?"

So quick that the surgeon had no time at all to react, Murry reared up and tore the man's lips off from behind the mask, sinking into the flesh with his teeth, spitting the pieces of tissue and material back into the man's face.

"Y-YES I-I F-FUCKING D-DO"

Murry screamed back in brutal satisfaction.

Teyla watched on and cheered so much that joyful tears ran down her face, she'd have gone on clapping had the voice not sounded from above.

"Let's see if this amuses you Teyla Immagen"

A/N I thank (using cookies and some generous supplies of C-4 for Michael) Amaruk Wolfheart of the Wraith (I have the name memorised now heehaw), Lymbis, Female' Wraith and Jolly Vodka for the utterly awesome recent reviews.

To Jolly Vodka, you have a terrible filthy mind…

Steve the Plushie: 'nods shiftily in agreement'


	18. Anger and Consequences

Elizabeth Weir sat at her desk with her head in her hands. She'd sent teams to the planet; they'd found the cloaked Puddlejumper just metres from the Gate, in the middle of a field, nothing within three hundred miles of the site. There was nowhere they could've gone. She began to fear the worst. The rumours spread like wild fire, that Moraine had betrayed John, Teyla, Rodney and Ronon to his own kind. As hard as she tried, these gossiped tales reached the children.

Devi found herself in the Training Room, and surrounded by equipment, she threw all of her anger into devastating kicks and punches, fighting invisible enemies until exhaustion overtook her body.

Conner held Charley's hand when the residents stared and pointed in their scandal-obsessed ways, whispers accompanying them down the corridors. He eventually snapped, raving furiously at them with every little chunk of fury left in him, leaving him exhausted when sympathetic soldiers pulled him away. But he did not want their sympathy and had no need of it, but what he did need was his friend back. .

Charley knew something was wrong and cried, constantly down, refused food but for the occasional sandwich and although so young, became tired and ill, staying in bed for long hours at a time.

Turi stood on the balcony. He felt much older than his fourteen years, like an elder with too many winters under his belt. With Devi, he'd weathered sadistic parents, a horrific orphanage where the huge rats attacked the children for the meagre meat on their bones, a wraith culling which took away what little he had and now this. Shaking his head, he went inside, hating the world as much as his sister but dealing. It was what he did and even now, he was dealing with it, he planned and listened. He was good at that like a shadow, he heard everything but most of it was lies and slander. That Murry had led the team to their deaths, that he was a monster and more so. He joined his sister in the Training Room, as bitter as an old man who'd survived far too many battles.

**Meanwhile, Underground…**

Teyla watched in horror as Ronon was dragged unconscious into the surgery, having been shot with a drugged dart in his cell. Murry screamed blue murder, tearing furiously at the restraints, spitting blood and threats at those who brought the Satedan in, everything just out of reach of his claws and teeth.

"This will teach you not to bite the hand that hits you then eh?"

The scientist scoffed smugly, trotting out with his equally happy, laughing friends to watch safely from behind a two-way mirror, positioned on one wall. The room was now empty but for the wraith strapped to the table, the Satedan lying on the floor and some dusty unused equipment. Ronon groaned groggily and was dragging himself to his feet when the voice contacted her once more.

"The creature has, up to this point, been intravenously fed with a draining protein, all very technical, in layman's terms this means that all the life-force it has stolen, is being taken back"

Even as Teyla watched, Murry seemed to grow weaker, his shouts fading, the cuts that were on the point of healing, splitting open. Ronon, in a fit of nerves and anger, cursed the camera watching him. She could hear him cursing and shouting, every filthy word of it, and it made her sick to her stomach.

"You see how he panics, Teyla Immagen? Of course, you do. Do you see how he scrambles to do anything that crosses his mind? He is desperate to save that worthless creature's life"

Teyla watched, half in shock, as Ronon tore strips from his top, trying to bandage the worst of the bleeding.

"It's such a shame isn't it Teyla Immagen? He is so desperate to save that thing that he hasn't noticed how tired he is, how much weaker he feels every time he touches it. The creature is draining straight from his life force, he won't age, what a pity, ironically, it would buy him more time. Poor Ronon hasn't even noticed yet. Not that that thing is even conscious now, it can't tell him to stop"

It was true; Murry had passed out, the blood running in little red waterfalls off the edge of the table. She yelled at the screen, but he couldn't hear her. Tears now ran down her cheeks but she didn't notice and even if she had, she no longer cared. Ronon was screaming in frustration, his hands visibly shaking now. The voice chuckled and left her there to howl and watch in horror, helpless to help her friends. She was so focused on the monitor showing the surgery that she did not see Rodney being led from his cell. She didn't see John being removed either; every fibre of her being was focused on the one screen.

Murry felt as though he was sinking. Pain had truly engulfed him, every nerve-end was on fire but he couldn't move, he couldn't scratch out the venom flowing through his veins, couldn't release the pressure. He knew that he was bleeding, but the very thought seemed distant. A déjà vu too familiar to ignore, overwhelmed his senses. He felt someone shaking him but it was weak and so very far away, so far to the surface, and he was so tired.

**Meanwhile, Above Ground…**

A familiar dark craft lands on the grass and a familiar mysterious figure strides across what seems to be a field. The failing evening light has revealed that the figure is masculine; he is wearing a black bag on his shoulder and a gun holster at his hip. He comes to a patch of grass, not any different from the rest, kneels down, and picks up a thin black cable hidden in the green blades. It has been frayed and broken. He laughs, a high and cold chuckle that chills even the warm air around him.

"Found you"

He murmurs to no one in particular in that unused fractured voice. He stands and laughs a little more. Moving carefully forward, his eyes darting this way and that, he searched the field. He finds what he is looking for, a small, almost invisible bump. He stamps hard on it and the very earth unfolds around him.

A/N 'giggles like a idiot' I've never had so many reviews, 'giggles some more'. But anyways I like to thank Amaruk, Frankie the Elf, Female' wraith, Wraithlover and Lymbis for the awesome reviews and support.

To Frankie the Elf: Indeed, I really can't help myself, 'mutters something indistinct about regurgitated pizza'

Steve the Plushie: 'sits silently, looking malevolent and dangerous' (that's his talent 'ducks as biscuits rain upon head')


	19. A Stranger To All But One

A series of explosions distracted Ronon for an instant from his panic. They were loud and they were close. He shook Murry all the harder for it.

"Wake up you bastard, I know you're still there, you're as stubborn as I am"

He voice was straining and he felt chilled, like something made of ice was creeping up his spine but it was gone when he broke contact with the wraith's shoulders. He stepped back as blood ran in a tiny rivulet from Murry's mouth, the wraith coughed furiously, spraying little flecks of red over Ronon's face. He could barely lift his head but managed to turn away from the concerned Satedan, onto his side, throwing up over the tiles. It was all a creamy liquid, a growing puddle over the clinical tiles.

"What the hell!"

Ronon exclaimed. In all his years, he'd never heard of a wraith being sick.

"T-they…p-poisonin' m-m-me"

Ronon had to put his ear close to Murry's fang-filled mouth to hear the faint, slurred hissing whisper. He stared down at the mess; there was blood in it and Murry was barely there at all.

"S-s-stealin' it…b-back"

Ronon was puzzled by his words. He went to pick the wraith up but Murry yelled incoherently, he quietened quickly, his eyes rolling a little, but he jerked awake.

"N-no, d-don't t-touch…m-m-me"

"Why?"

Ronon inquired, not that they had the time to chat. A fourth explosion rocked the room.

"I-I'll s-s-steal it…f-f-from y-you"

His eyes flickered, as if he was very tired, but he managed to keep them open, staring up at Ronon, trying to communicate over the void of water that seemed to pushing them apart. Ronon understood by then what he meant, he chewed his lip for a full five seconds. A fifth explosion sent three of the polystyrene-like tiles that made up the ceiling crashing to the floor. The table has no wheels, he mused, damn.

"I'll have to carry you out of here, otherwise we're both dead"

"J-just…l-leave"

"And if I left you, there'd be minus one hero to a lonely little girl, come on"

Ronon grimaced and pulled the restraints apart, picking the slight wraith into his arms. The door was no problem; two well-aimed kicks sent it crashing. He swore to himself, Murry seemed to be getting heavier by each and every second that ticked by.

"L-leave m-me…h-here…n-not g-gonna"

"Murry? Just shut up"

The wraith seemed to hear him, his head falling limp against his chest.

"Damn it, damn it, damn it"  
Ronon couldn't leave the others but the explosions threatened to take the building down. He stood indecisive for a moment, caught between the two options. A huge piece of plaster fell to the floor just inches from his right and startled, he ran forward. He rounded a few corners, dodging pieces of plaster and brick that fell to the left, right and centre of his path. He found himself at a door. Shouldering it open took too much effort to be real. Suddenly he was bathed in the dusk sunlight. Murry lay silent in his arms, his lips shadowy and his skin greyish. Ronon put him onto the grass, ignoring the scientists who gathered like a murder of crows at one end of the field.

"Come on, just a little further"

Murry either heard him or the smelt the fear wafting from the cowering once-sadistic scientists. He dragged himself up and Ronon backed far away from him and his eyes, which were all but empty, except the predatory glint. The dreaded smirk returned to his features and an inhuman screech bellowed from him as he darted forward, a feat of pure survival and instinct left in a sub-sub conscious that no amount of torture could reach. He caught the first one, grabbing him away from the group and sucked the life from him, in seconds he was reduced to naught but a skeletal sack of bones. The others scrambled away, yelling and screaming for any kind of salvation, but Ronon turned a deaf ear and he caught himself smiling at their fitting end. He didn't bother to scold himself.

Teyla, just now realising she all alone in the crumbling building, pulled frantically at the restraints in the aid of nothing but her own survival. She was near giving up when she heard the tapping of unfamiliar boots on the metal floor, the stranger swivelled the chair and she gasped, but when she inhaled her lungs sucked on nothing but the chloroform soaked rag pushed roughly into her mouth.

John and Rodney stood together in what seemed like an elevator with a ramrod straight, gun-wielding soldier, his chiselled features gave the impression of authority but the manicure fresh and tidy nails told otherwise. _Ding, _the elevator had reached its destination andRodney almost burst out laughing but John stood staid, watching for any sign of the others. Sunshine and screams bounced into the small metal elevator, John, and to a lesser extent Rodney, used the surprise to kick the soldier viciously. John went for the shins and Rodney aimed his at the soldier's groin. The man doubled over, receiving another bout of kicks. He ended up unconscious on the floor eventually; John turned and with his shackled hands, picked up the keys attached to his belt, unlocked Rodney who in turn released John.

"Good work Rodney"

The scientist positively beamed, rubbing his chafed wrists, but his face fell when both once more returned to reality. The screams were gone now, silence greeting them as they walked onto the darkening plain. Only two figures were still standing in the failing light and one was cackling madly to the sky. Ronon waved them over, hushing them quickly. John looked over the Satedan's shoulder and asked, a little unnerved.

"What's up with him?"

Ronon shrugged lightly and nodded to Rodney.

"You guys okay? Where's Teyla?"

The two men exchanged worried glances. Then simultaneously said.

"We don't know"  
Ronon started.

"You left her in there!?"

He didn't wait for an answer and was running back to the entrance when the whole building collapsed into the ground in another mammoth explosion. He stared at where the door had once been, feeling numb all the way through when he heard the whine of a dart. He fell to the ground, as did everyone but Murry, who was already lying on the grass staring at the sky and singing drunkenly in his own tongue.

The dark craft landed someway behind Murry and Ronon, running as fast as he ever did, reached him and pulled him away. He was exhausted and his limbs felt like lead, he could barely stay awake. Murry looked confused for a second but his expression cleared.

"Oh Heya R-Ronon, I-I've g-got a p-present for you"

Before Ronon could say a word, the wraith, grinning widely like a child, pushed his hand against the Satedan's chest. Rodney yelped but John watched in awe, reliving the experience in his own mind, as some of the precious life force jumped from Murry's hand to Ronon. In an instant Ronon felt his strength return ten-fold, he felt invincible, hooked onto this feeling for too long, he quickly realised, would probably make him think so as well. But the link was severed when Murry removed his hand and ran, laughter streaming like bubbles behind him. Ronon jogged after him, he knew he could run but decided not to, preserving this strength for as long as possible. When they both reached John and Rodney, he was greeted like an equal and that made his grin just a little wider. When the situation at hand was remembered, the four of them turned in unison and they saw the dart's roof open up. A stranger to all but one jumped from the ship, holding an unconscious Teyla in his burly, powerful green-hued arms and his face wielding a sharp toothy grin.

"_Hello Defect_"

A/N whatd'ya all think huh? Just press the itty bitty Blue Button and tell me...You know you want to. Lol. I am thanking Frankie the Elf, Wraithlover and Lymbis for the awetastic reviews. 'throws cookies into the air' I know this was quick but I couldn't stop writing Eek.

To Lymbis: 'coughs' Tell Michael that although I appreciate the effort and, of course, the enthusiasm, hardwiring my chair with C-4 was all very unnecessary...

Steve the Plushie: 'grins evily and claps at explosion'


	20. How do you like being fucked with steel?

"R-R-Ronon, g-give m-me y-your g-gun"

Murry was deadly serious, the glare saying enough, he passed him the gun without a word, trusting in the wraith's deadly accuracy. He lifted the gun, staring down the barrel at his superior; he flicked the switch to stun and pulled the trigger. John lunged just in time, throwing the shot wide of the target.

"Have you lost your bloody mind?"

John was talking to both, Murry smirked but did not take his eyes from the target, and neither did Ronon, who was watching the wraith. He was just standing there, leering at Murry with a knowing smile, holding Teyla easily in his arms. Murry snarled viciously.

"_Now, now Defect, don't give these poor defenceless humans your troubles. Come here_"

They all felt the power in his words. Murry growled and with ten identical _shikhs_, his razor claws were unsheathed. Before Ronon could grab him, Murry was darting through the long grass like an arrow, gun still in hand. But the wraith was ready for him; he placed Teyla carefully on the ground and with one powerful roundhouse kick to the chest, sent Murry flying, skidding across the ground, the gun sliding out of sight in the long grass.

"_I am not here to play games Defect_"

Murry pulled himself from the ground snarling.

"A-and n-n-neither a-am I"

He ran again and the wraith didn't bother to move, instead waiting to the last second and swiping Murry up by the throat. He held him suspended in the air, watching as the slender, scarred wraith struggled.

"_You really are pathetic_"

The wraith threw Murry down and stamped hard on his chest. Murry hissed in pain and happened to glance to his right, spotting a shining barrel. He grabbed it and pushed himself to his feet, holding the gun high in his shaking grip.

"_Look at you, you can barely lift that cannon_"

The wraith and spoke again in those resonating tones, a talent only the second-to-the Queen were privileged to have.

"_Put the gun down Defect_"

Murry shook his head numbly, only half aware that he was throwing down his only weapon. John stole the advantage of distraction to sneak carefully around the battle of wills to pull Teyla away and with Ronon's help, carried her back to where Rodney stood. The wraith noticed this but did not care.

"_I have what I want humans, this Defect will trouble you no more_"

He said through a twisted sharpened grin. Murry tried to back away but found he couldn't, his legs weren't his to command anymore. High, cold laughter echoed across the field and Ronon would've given anything to help his friend but John held him back.

The wraith broke eye contact for a second to lift the gun from the holster at his hip and aim it at Ronon. Murry screamed and using the dregs of power left in his mind, smashed rapidly through the hex that held him, which was only a fraction of the power a Queen could command, but he was not fast enough to stop the wraith pulling the trigger, so instead he ran in the path of the bullet. It crashed through his stomach and sent him bouncing across the ground. Rodney, who happened to have snuck away to recover Ronon's lost gun, lifted it and shot the wraith three times in the chest, sending him to the grassy floor. Everyone but Murry stared at the scientist. Ronon smiled.

"Good shot rookie but can I have the gun back before you shoot yourself in the foot?"

Rodney hurriedly passed back the weighted gun. Murry pulled himself painfully to his feet, the blood already stopping from the wound in his stomach. He limped over to the fallen wraith, who was awakening from the three stunner shots. The men walked slowly away from the scene, not wanting to see or hear what came next.

"_Defect, what do you think you are doing, you are kidding yourself_"

Blood stained the wraith's teeth, gurgling out as he laughed and Murry stared down with his head cocked to the side in thought.

"_Kill me now or risk your own destruction. I'm sure you haven't told your friends the truth about yourself, revenge will be…_"

Murry did not let the wraith finish. He kneeled and plunged the talons of his right hand into the wraith's abdomen, tearing them upwards through his intestines and chest to the his ribcage. Unholy screaming issued forth from the wraith as Murry tore guts and entrails from the now open body, blood gushing from the cavity's ripped arteries, soaking Murry as he cackled hideously to the darkness that grew around him.

"How does it feel huh? How does it feel to have someone playing with YOUR INSIDES!? HOW DO YOU LIKE BEING FUCKED WITH STEEL!!!???"

Ronon was not ready for the sight that confronted him when he looked back. Murry stood laughing with his head thrown back to the deep indigo sky, up to his elbows in vibrant red blood with handfuls of intestines in his fists, the wraith lying disembowelled, still alive, screaming at his feet.

**Meanwhile In Atlantis…**

Turi picked wearily at his food, drumming it around the plate with his fork, knowing he should eat. He sat across from his sister and beside Conner, they all were picking like birds at their meals, not really eating any of it. The younger children all ate but with none of their usual enthusiasm, silence reigning at the table. The adults drilled around them, chatting and laughing, getting on with their lives, while they were stuck under a dark cloud of apprehension and suspense. Dr Elizabeth Weir lived beneath this muddy haze as well, waiting for the team to come home, if ever. Turi broke the silence at the cafeteria table.

"We need to do something"

Devi nodded, pushing the untouched plate away.

"Yeah, I know, but what?"

Turi sighed and pushed his own plate away, putting his head in his hands.

"I don't know"

Everyone stopped eating, or pretending to eat, and stared. Turi shook his head, rose from the table and left, cutting a lonely path through the crowd. Conner and Devi exchanged tired glances and trailed after him, not knowing what else to do. The three teenagers found themselves outside Charley's room in the infirmary.

She hadn't been out in days, Charlotte and Jenny had brought flowers and made some cards, Allie and Jake read a rather rude but funny story that they'd written together and Dominic and Serak sang a cheesy gimmick but she just laid there, getting paler and sicker. The medical staff had moved her to the bed in the infirmary but could do nothing but watch as a completely healthy child succumbed to a seemingly non-existent illness.

A/N Thanks to Amaruk, Frankie the Elf, Lymbis and Wraithlover for the most recent amazing reviews. 'passes out triple choc cookies'

To Amaruk: Tis no worries, at least you have a life ) lol. But I think I'll take your advice about the rating, I never took a thought to that before hehe

To Frankie the Elf: Yuppers, "it" flew out the window 'waves byebye to Murry's marbles'

To Lymbis: Of course all cookies abide by ten second rule, in fact, especially cookies mmmmm...cookies...'eyes kitchen door suspiciously'

I have hidden two quotes in this chapter, extra cookies to the person who names them...


	21. We Move Along and Meltdown

Ronon was left with no choice. Murry was out of control, still tearing at the cold corpse with his taloned fingers and the language and crooked laughter that spewed forth from him was unreal. He hefted the gun, checked it was set to stun and shot the cracked wraith.

"Sorry buddy, you'll forgive me in the morning"

Murry folded slowly to the grass, grabbing vainly at the air in front of him. Ronon lifted and cradled the wraith carefully in his arms, trying not see the bits of body spread out through the grass and ignoring little bits of red stuck deep within Murry's nails. The smell already was vomit inducing, it wafted from the wraith, the stench of blood and death. John carried Teyla and together they marched wearily towards the Gate with Rodney plodding behind, focusing on not puking what was left in his stomach at the fresh reek of viscera. Teyla began to awaken and they stopped briefly for a rest to allow her some time to recover (two of the symptoms of chloroform sedation being nausea and disorientation). When all were ready, they set off once more.

Murry stirred in Ronon's arms, murmuring something indistinct before groaning and without even opening his eyes, said.

"I-is h-h-he d-dead?"

Ronon did not look down.

"Yes"

"I-I-Is it h-his b-b-blood I-I'm c-c-covered in?"

"Yes"

Murry sighed and smiled brutally, a full tooth smile.

"G-good"

Ronon had never heard the wraith utter any such solid hatred and bitterness before and stopped in his tracks but Murry had fallen back asleep, his bloody body limp in Ronon's arms. John stared at his comrade.

"Are you surprised? He is a wraith, in case you've forgotten"

"I know what he is, always have, and I don't need you to tell me"

"Yeah I'm just saying, it's easy to forget"

Murry all of a sudden bucked, thrashing furiously and dropped from Ronon's grip. His voice was highly tinged with panic.

"W-we're t-t-tagged"

All of them rounded on the wraith, eyes spiked with a combination of fear, anxiety and fatigue. Ronon kept his voice steady, not wanting to rush the flash of intuition.

"What do you mean?"

"Before we all woke up…"

Murry clambered to his feet and ran a circle around John, lifting the astounded man's shirt to reveal a new bright and raw scar about an inch long at the base of his spine. He swore in wraith and talked back to the humans in Common Tongue.

"B-b-bet t-those b-bastards are t-tracking us r-right n-now, c-can't g-go h-home, w-we'll l-lead them s-straight t-to A-Atlantis"

The four of them exchanged somnolent glances, too drained by recent events to show the energy exhibited by the wraith; even Ronon was mentally shattered although his body was in remarkable condition.

"I-I know a p-place w-where w-we c-can h-hide"

Teyla, Rodney and John looked to Ronon, trusting his judgement in this situation. But he was focused solely on Murry, waiting on a moment of instinct of his own. It came swiftly, as it always did.

"We go"

John nodded, exhausted, as did the others. Murry took the lead, tapped in an address that only he recognised. Ronon stood right behind him, wiping the cold sweat from his forehead.

"I-I'm s-sorry R-Ronon"

"It's okay, it was probably always gonna end up this way"

"Y-you t-think?"

"Not really"

Both smiled and Ronon fell back behind Rodney as they walked through the wormhole and came out in the middle of a dense green forest, the mammoth trees like the pillars of God holding up the dark sky. Moss and lichen hung in ropes and curtains from the branches and the brush was thick and barbed underfoot.

"T-there's a r-real old c-com t-tower a-around h-here, m-mucks up the t-tagging f-for a while"

Murry pulled up one of his baggy trouser legs to reveal a long sharp machete. It was tied to his leg with strips of material. Ronon raised an eyebrow but said nothing. John and Teyla took a step back, Rodney hiccupped a yelp.

"Always g-g-gotta b-be r-ready"

Wielding the weapon, he cut impressive strips through the thorny underbrush, well practiced and efficient. The others, too tired to do anything else, just followed the newly made path. Murry stopped, turned to the nearest tree and beckoned to the heavens.

"C-climb, s-sleep on the t-thickest b-branches…D-don't f-fall off"

Ronon waited until the others were scaling up the trees before turning to the wraith.

"You ever going to tell me what happened back there?"

"I d-don't k-know"

"It doesn't matter that much. Where are you sleeping?"

"I w-wasn't p-planning on it"

"Me neither"

And together they sat on the lowest branches of two trees, waiting, content with the empty silence.

**Meanwhile In Atlantis…**

Turi cried when the doctor told him, Devi screamed and Conner stared numb at the wall. She was as sympathetic as she could be but no amount of sweet nothings could comfort them. Kate Heightmeyer sat and tried to consol them a while but Devi and Conner both snapped simultaneously, sending her away in a flurry of papers. A cold but clear and precise clinical male specialist came to see them, in his hand, he held a small black notebook and he referred constantly to it.

"We think it a new form of a disease called leukaemia, it has progressed far too quickly to have just formed. She must have contracted it some time ago, we don't know why the symptoms haven't shown up till now."

Turi could feel his mind going into melt down, he thumbed his temples steadily to try and decrease the pressure formed behind his eyes from crying.

"Wha-what can you do for her?"

"We can treat it with some aggressive chemotherapy but we don't know if it'll work, you better prepare yourself for the worst"

The specialist wore a nametag clipped to his white coat, it said Dr Davito.

"Dr Davito, if this doesn't work, how long do you think she has?"

"Our best estimate is three to four weeks but it may be less"

"Is this treatment going to make her feel better?"

"To be frank, it won't, it will make her very sick"

Slowly Turi could feel himself unravelling, Devi could see it in his eyes and hugged her brother. Conner couldn't admit to it, he refused to accept that someone so young could be staring death in the face.

"Since Charley has no parents or legal guardians, we need your permission to begin the treatment"

Turi looked up from his sister's shoulder.

"Do it"

A/N Oh well no one got the quotes, one was from the film & graphic novel Sin City "you can barely lift that cannon you're carrying" and the other from Johnny the Homicidal Maniac (a comic I quite love) "How do you like being fucked with steel?!" but I think everyone deserves cookies anyway. Mucho Thanks to Amaruk, Lymbis and Wraithlover for reviewing chapter 20 ) 'passes out cookies to everyone ever, gets tired and hordes some for self' Heehee...


	22. It's Raining, It's Pouring, Water or not

It rained that night; it rained long and hard, the raindrops freezing into long thin bullets of ice. But it petered off by the morning, leaving the forest wet and cold, with a mist rising in the distance. Murry swung his legs back and forth above the drenched forest floor, listening to the faintly familiar sounds of the dawn chorus. He'd never had much time to appreciate it before. He yawned and made his way across the saturated grass, his bare feet sloshing through the mud. Ronon watched him go, wondering what really kept him going day in and day out. He was about to go after him when the wraith appeared suddenly at the side of tree.

"You'd b-better g-get them up"

And then he was gone once more, blending easily with the thick trees, making no noise as he went. Teyla, Rodney and John assembled themselves and in that time, they heard an awful shrieking. They ran towards it and panting, they broke through to a clearing to find Murry sharpening a short, vaguely curved, sickle. He looked up briefly and returned his gaze to running the sickle up and down the edge of the machete.

"I-it's g-gotta b-be s-sharp"

"For what?"

Rodney asked, eyeing the weapons apprehensively.

"T-to g-get t-the t-trackers out"

He gulped loudly. Murry said nothing; his expression did not change and betrayed nothing at all, as if he was empty, robotic in his function.

"H-has anyone g-got anaesthetic?"

"No"

John answered, not believing he was having this conversation. Everyone was cold and wet, tired and hungry and homesick, they did not need this now. In fact, no one needed this ever.

"E-either I'll g-go g-get s-some or w-we'll h-have t-to d-do without"

The friction produced yellow sparks that hissed through the air and died with a whispery sigh on the wet ground. Murry tilted his head and stopped sharpening, looking up once more and his hand flapped in the air as he spoke.

"W-who's g-going first? T-the q-quicker I-I g-get t-his d-done, the f-faster y-you c-can all g-go h-home"

Ronon heard it and did not let it pass him.

"What do you mean by 'you'?"

Murry hissed irritably but said nothing; the Satedan would not let this slide. He repeated himself twice. But instead of an answer, the wraith rose from his seat on a fallen log and holding the two glinting weapons, he slinked away. Ronon followed quickly, not giving him a chance to rush far into the lead, leaving his team behind for the umpteenth time. He chased him through the dense forest, which overall made it harder for Murry to stay ahead, having to dodge the thick trunks and treacherous roots, dips and ditches. He dripped more than once, giving Ronon the opportunity to catch up.

"You can't outrun me forever"

Ronon bellowed into the forest but the only reply he heard was his own echo as it bounced mockingly back to him and from tree to tree. After running for five minutes straight with no sighting of the wraith, he slowed to a walk and was about to turn back, when Murry appeared in front of him, he hadn't expected it but he wasn't surprised. It had been a long while since he'd been surprised by anything.

"T-there is s-so m-much you d-don't know, R-Ronon…"

The wraith's face was unreadable, vacant of anything Ronon could recognise as a real emotion. He lifted the sickle and stared at the razor-sharp blade as it reflected the early morning light.

"…S-so m-much t-that y-you d-don't know about m-me, about w-what I've d-done"

"And I don't care"

Murry looked up, his eyes drained of feeling, haunted.

"Y-you w-would if you k-knew"

John and Teyla watched unseen, not wanting to get too close.

"No I wouldn't"  
The wraith chuckled darkly, knowingly.

"Oh y-yes you w-would, you d-don't know w-who I w-was once upon a t-time"

"Then who were you?"

Ronon demanded, tired of games, but the wraith just stared to a point in the distance, saying nothing.

"…Tell me!"

Finally, a glint of emotion, anger, flecked the edges of his feline eyes.

"I n-need not t-tell you anything, h-human"

He spat the words out through bared teeth; Ronon's eyes narrowed and he backhanded the wraith across in the face, not hard enough to break anything. He cut his knuckles on the edges of the wraith's sharpened canines but did not notice these superficial injuries, even as they bled.

"Snap out of this right now Murry"

The wraith recoiled from the blow, slamming into a tree trunk, holding his face in his hand. He snarled when Ronon went to him, bit furiously at the air in front of him, threatening to tear his hand off. John and Teyla gritted their teeth, holding their weapons grimly.

"I said snap out of it, it's me, Ronon, remember buddy?"

"N-no. Y-yes? I d-don't know. W-what d-did t-they d-do t-to me? When w-will t-this g-go away, I can't keep going like this Ronon, I'll die or kill myself, I can't keep on going like this…"

The wraith paused mid-sob; he looked up from his hands and sighed.

"…I-I-I r-really n-need a d-drink"

Ronon spluttered a laugh, more of relief than anything else; he'd thought that perhaps that this might've been the time he couldn't pull Murry back. He dreaded the day but he'd allow no one apart from him to pull the trigger.

"Yeah me too"

Murry, still shaking, coughed and stared straight at John and Teyla's hiding place.

"Y-you'd t-think t-they'd f-find a b-better w-way t-to eavesdrop b-by n-now"

Ronon looked up and scowled humorously in their direction. Laughing, he clapped Murry on the back and cringed as the wraith swilled through the mud barefoot on the trudge back to the clearing. The Satedan watching him every step of the way.

As they approached where Rodney waited, Ronon heard something and twisted quickly on the balls of his feet, hauled his gun into the air and thought, out of the corner of his eye, that he saw a familiar flash of white, but it was gone before he could even blink.

**Meanwhile In Atlantis…**

Turi had never in his life felt so thinly spread, like too little butter over too much bread, ancient and completely useless. His head had been thumping steadily for what seemed like an age and it hurt to think, but everyone was counting on him for an explanation, or a plan of action. He just had none to give. He ended up spending a lot of his time with Charley in her room; she was either unconscious or delirious on the drugs for the most part. Sometimes she asked for Murry and he just cried when she begged for the wraith to hold her hand.

Devi spent much of her time trying to avoid that stuffy little room with its pale blue light and the blinking, whirring machines, most of which she couldn't even begin to name, or guess what they were for. She might've been imagining it, but when she went there, all she could feel was the cloying sense of subtle, but eventual, death. She wanted to grab a tin of red paint and splash it liberally around the walls. She wanted to be far from that little room and for Charley to be okay again. She wished deep in her heart, where she was still a child, that Murry would return home swiftly, but her older, sharper and bleaker mind of fourteen chanted that if he hadn't returned by now, he would never be coming home and that Charley was fading, slowly but steadily, she was dying.

A/N Lots of Smiley Stickers and C-4 (I've run out of cookies) to Amaruk (munches on delicious brownies), Female'wraith, Wraithlover and Lymbis for great reviews on chapter 21. Thanks a Buncho! If you're someone who hasn't reviewed yet, Go On And Push The Button!!

Steve the Plushie: 'nibbles cautiously on small piece of brownie'


	23. Don't Panic at the Ghosts in the Forest

The team sat alone with the wraith in the ever lightening dell, the humidity clearing with the rising sun. The forest they now sat in was a particularly old one; the whole planet was mostly covered by these huge forests, ones that had harboured refugees and asylum seekers for thousands upon thousands of years. Though no one had ever settled there for long, always just passing through. Even the Ancients visited once, they built a huge scrambling tower but left it to run on its own, never returning to the planet.

"Murry knows a place, discreet and pretty open-minded, where he can go for the anaesthetic"

Rodney stared in disbelief at Ronon, perhaps it was the shock that made him exclaim out in sarcastic horror.

"So, what you're proposing, is that we put our lives in the 'hands' of a lunatic psycho wraith who I'm sure does not have any idea of what he's doing, I mean, Goddamit, how stupid do we have to be?"

Ronon was about to jump to Murry's defence, when the wraith burst out laughing.

"O-oh I k-know a lot about w-what I'm d-doing McKay, and I-I m-may be psychotic b-but I-I know enough t-to d-do this"

Murry's tone took on a more sinister tone.

"W-would you l-like t-to d-drag your own t-tracker out I w-wonder, w-with your b-bare h-hands? Would you?"

Rodney was exhausted, his head felt like it was coated in fur and his thoughts were slow and sluggish to a point where he couldn't focus on the wraith's words. Suffering from hypoglycaemia, he realised, was definitely not in any way right now, a good thing. The world began to spin and he stumbled, sitting abruptly down on the damp forest floor.

"Are you okay R-Rodney?"

Everyone kneeled next to the scientist, who brushed their concerns with a wave of his hand and a hasty explanation. He tried to climb to his feet but stumbled back down again, Murry bit his lip, feeling faintly impure in the base of his wraith mind, but asked them all to take a step back anyways. He sat cross-legged in front of Rodney and held out a scarred hand.

"I-I c-can h-help, b-but you h-have t-to accept it"

Rodney just nodded numbly and Murry pressed his palm softly against the man's chest, gritting his teeth where it burned his palm a little. Rodney felt nothing but a current of pure bliss flying into him. The wraith pulled his hand back, inspecting it with a careful eye and expecting damage, but seeing none, he smiled.

"T-there w-we g-go, all b-better"

Rodney returned the smile, feeling better by a hundred-fold.

"Thank you"

Murry beamed and stood, helping Rodney to his feet. Teyla and John thanked him in turn while Ronon just nodded his approval. Murry was desperate to prove he could be trusted, especially after freaking out. He could've sworn to any lie detector that in that moment he'd been transported back, way back, to a time where everything had been scarily different and his name had not been Moraine.

**Moraine (but not as we know him) A Long Time Ago…**

He stalked the building, searching for the last scatters of humans left alive in the town. The others had thought that they could hide from him, he found them quickly enough, and made a quick meal for his meagre trouble. He chuckled and someone, although muffled by a floor and rug, yelped in fear. Dragging quickly back the worn thin carpet, he discovered a trap door and lifting it, he found a platoon of lean, soldier-like men defending a group of terrified women. He slowly descended, enjoying the smell of their fear.

"You will all perish"

He whispered, and hissed through the stale air of the basement, his words were reality written in stone to them. Smiling malevolently, he moved leisurely down the steps, his eyes almost glowing in the dusty gloom. The humans watched helplessly, defenceless, with indescribable fear gnawing at their insides.

"And the last thing you will hear will be my laughter"

Slaughter literally hung, suspended, in the air. He reached the bottom and cackled, the men, in a last ditch attempt at becoming heroes, became useless martyrs, sacrificed at the alter of his hunger. His laughter turned to an ecstatic lasting screeching mixed liberally with the screams of the dying; a sound that petrified any human that'd ever witnessed a feeding. He left one alive, a young woman, who was deep into pregnancy, crying her eyes out and in shock. She shouted as he began to ascend the stairs.

"Why do you do this truly?"

He looked back, poised on the stairs, and frowning, he'd never been questioned by his prey before.

"Necessity and desire, human"

She was strong, he sensed, resilient in her survival but if she continued down this route then his compassion would wear thin.

"Tell me!"

"Enough, I need not tell you anything human"

He snarled, irritated by the fact that the longer he spent trading conversation with this female, he lost valuable feeding time. He rushed up the stairs to join his brethren in the culling, leaving the blonde woman to stare at the remains of her friends and weep in anguish and in grief.

**In The Forest…**

Ronon could've pledged that he saw another flash of white far between the tree trunks while Murry was explaining his plan. The wraith stared up at the Satedan, stopping mid-sentence, searching his face for whatever troubled him.

"W-what is it R-Ronon?"

He grunted, raising his gun and hushing them with a finger to his lips. He mentally counted to three and whirled, pointing the barrel of the gun into the forest but saw nothing to shoot.

"I dunno…probably nothing"

But he kept his gun in his hand and constantly ran his eyes over the surrounding, suddenly too close, hectic, scenery, searching for any sign of what he was beginning to suspect was an ambush, but he said nothing to the others, not wanting the already shattered team to worry themselves into paranoia, shooting randomly into the trees.

"…A-are you g-guys h-hungry?"

Murry asked the team, who hastily nodded, all of a sudden aware of the growling in their stomachs. The wraith smiled, regaining his confidence and was about to stalk off into the forest when Ronon stopped him. He took him to one side where the others couldn't listen in.

"I think there's something out there, an ambush"

Murry's hand twitched slightly to his hip but apart from that, he gave nothing away.

"What d-do you t-think it is?"

"Wraith"

Murry struggled with the urge to reach out to the link to locate them because in doing so he might give something precious away, knowledge, location, any information he'd gained in Atlantis. So instead, he marched back to the clearing to a still hungry and suspicious John and Teyla, and an unnaturally contented Rodney.

A/N I apologise for not including a "Meanwhile In Atlantis" but to tell you the truth, nothing has happened yet, Charley is still sick, Turi is still cracking under the pressure and Devi is still spooked and frustrated about everything, Conner is still sitting on the edge of just going berserk, the other children are still depressed but ploughing on with existence. Elizabeth still is fretting about the team but is losing hope fast for them ever returning alive.

Anyways I want to thank Amaruk, Wraithlover, Female' Wraith, Frankie the Elf and Lymbis for reviewing chapter 22.

To Frankie the Elf: Yeah, go to school and have homework but not that much, I just happen to have no life which means I can spend most of my time writing ) Oh and here. 'Passes stress ball in the shape of Kavanagh's head' that should help, Hehe…

To Lymbis, Amaruk and subsequent Plushies: I will assist in weaning Mike off of C-4 by refusing to supply him… 'Checks underneath chair for any explosives'


	24. Oppressive Silence and The New Plan

Murry grew increasingly fidgety in the oppressive atmosphere surrounding the makeshift camp, he could hear things moving but couldn't see anything for the trees and with nothing to occupy his mind, he endlessly scratched his initial into the bark of the tree that he was leaning against. Ronon restlessly paced back and forth around the outside of the little nervous group, his gun in his hand as he wore a deep groove into the dead leaves that scattered the floor. Rodney sat on the ground, still smiling faintly and twiddling his thumbs, he was enjoying thinking about nothing but how good he felt, he rarely ever had time to do that. John and Teyla bantered back and forth quietly, politely, trying to construct a bubble between them and the horrific pounding of the close ambience around them.

The idea of sleep never crossed any of their minds but Murry could feel his grip on reality slipping gradually, bit by bit he could feel his sanity sliding out of his hands, just as the dusk fell and the shadows grew. He watched silently, wearily and frightened as the black shapes morphed the trees into hideous monsters, as fleeting liquid creatures ran on wings, just out of reach. He shut his eyes but the wind that blew through the forest, changed, warping into the howls and wails of the damned. Rodney only happened to glance over in Murry's direction and saw the clammy pallor that grasped his skin, he watched in curious, concerned silence as the wraith's eyes writhed beneath the lids.

"Hey…hey Murry, are you ok?"

Murry clicked his teeth together and forcibly cracked open his eyelids, fighting against his hectic, hallucination-induced fear to keep them open.

"Y-yeah R-Rodney"

The scientist hopped over and sat in front of Murry, his eyes narrowing and he frowned thoughtfully, not quite believing the words that tumbled hastily out of Murry's mouth.

"You sure?"

"Y-yes"

The wraith strained a yell and began to pant, trying to settle his breathing, trying meaninglessly to keep a hold on his uncontrollable and completely unstable emotions. He rolled his taloned fingers round and round in his hair until each strand was taut, but his hand spasmed and they ripped out of his head, leaving him with a number of coils of white thread wrapped around the fingers of his hand. He could feel the screams frothing forth up his throat, searing and scolding his insides, determined to escape, but he held them down, he felt like he was burning alive but he refused to belch the flames.

"Ronon!"

Rodney panicked as the sweat poured down Murry's face and he began to breathe raggedly, each breath rattling in his chest. The Satedan flew across and knelt, grabbing the wraith's shoulders, holding him and shaking him in anxiety.

"Murry! Stay here with us buddy, this is no time for a freak out"

The wraith may have tried to form a word, perhaps a sentence, but between his chattering jaw and stutter, speaking became an impossible task. The back of Murry's mind tried to force his jaw to steady just enough to communicate but the wraith's consciousness was hardly anchored in reality.

"N-n-no. N-not a-again. T-twist. M-m-make m-me b-bad. K-kill m-me. F-fix m-me. B-broken. M-must f-fix m-me, w-wash t-the b-b-blood off m-my h-hands. M-monsters, e-everywhere, t-there's m-monsters. M-must g-g-go h-h-home. T-t-they're c-coming. T-they is c-coming. H-here. S-shit. Y-you all w-will d-die, w-we're all g-going t-to d-die"

As the delirium reached fever pitch, Ronon could do nothing but restrain the fitting wraith and wait for it to pass. The whole episode lasted only sixty seconds but it seemed so much longer for everyone. When it was over, Murry just fell limp in Ronon's arms, out of breath, exhausted and looking very young and very scared, his irrational but ominous words ringing in their ears and his acute fear reflected openly in their eyes. However, in Ronon's, there was nothing but pure unease at the episodes, which seemed to be growing increasingly worse and more frenzied and feverish every time they passed and the prickly feeling he got over the back of his neck, like someone was watching him.

**Meanwhile In Atlantis…**

Conner sat on the edge of his bed with his head resting firmly in the palms of his hands, he sighed warily and looked up into the mirror that hung in the corner of his room. His reflection seemed more haggard and pale than it ever had been before. He stood and walked carefully across the room, always keeping one eye on the looking glass. Ever since he'd been very young, he'd been mistrusting of mirrors and things that seemed to show the world's reflection, you'd never know when the reflection showed something different, he had always thought, very much to himself. He was extremely close to losing it, that he was sure of. He could feel the cracks already forming from the smallest of things. Whispered rumours and stares sent him off the rails. A liability. He slid down the wall and stayed there, his head pressed back into the palms of his hands.

Devi spent a lot of her time in the training room with the guards. She practiced with them and they didn't seem to mind too much, except jokingly when she began to beat some of them. When she sparred she could switch everything off, she didn't have to think, just react. She grew faster, her feet more nimble on the floor and her blows still more powerful, but she kept going, ploughing through her opponent with sheer ferocity, more than once she had pulled herself from the mat and gone on to win the match. The stigma of a full-grown man being beaten by teenage girl faded, replaced with competition and a kind of rough and ready respect.

Turi sat staring absently at the clock that the nice, thoughtful Doctor Beckett had left hanging in the room. If it weren't for that chrome-coloured and foreign-looking device, he'd have no idea of the time that passed while he was in Charley's room. She looked even worse than before but the specialists assured that this was to be expected. Her beautiful blonde locks were falling away from her head, they told him that this was normal, but as the strings of gold lay across her pillow and he could see her pale scalp, he cried a little, it all so tragic, all so horrific and she was so young. He stared to where the sky would be if he were outside and he whispered to the stars that hid out of sight.

"Wherever you are Murry, come home quick"

Jenny and Charlotte tip-toed through to Murry's room, where they and the two sets of boys had been spending their nights, waiting patiently for the return of their hero. They spoke, in a most mature fashion for their age; mainly about things that the adults had thought flew over their heads. The gossip made them angry, a pure innocent frustration at they unchangeable way the world functioned around them. Allie and Jake were all up for boyish, rebellious, mindless pranks, their plans and scheming followed and cheered upon by Dominic and Serak, who wanted to see some messy payback for the untrue things being said. The girls however had a better idea, one that, after some thought, was voted the better idea. They were going to do something against their elder's wishes. They were going to run away and find their hero, whether the adults wanted it or not.

A/N Mucho thanks to Amaruk, Lymbis, Wraithlover and Female'wraith for the awesome reviews on chapter 23, sorry about the wait everybody, I've been battling with some majorly righteous headaches due to staying too long on the computer lol. 'passes cookies and woollen hats (generously provided by the Wraith-who-are-helping-Mike-to-kick-his-C-4-addiction)'

Pretty Please Review My Lovely Merciful Readers...


	25. Lie With The Dogs and You'll Catch Fleas

Rodney awoke to the sound of shouting, he was surprised to see that it was light, he must've fallen asleep only he couldn't remember lying down. He looked up and saw Ronon tearing madly through the clearing, shouting and screaming, brandishing his gun to the trees, his eyes wide with fury.

"Where the fuck are you! When I find you, you'll wish you're dead, you'll fucking beg to die"

The Satedan was near completely out of his mind. Rodney cringed and tried to stand, pain seared through his head and with this sharp pain returned his hazy memories.

**The Night Before…**

'Crack'. The noise that sounded like a twig snapping, bounced off the trees and into the camp, everyone stood at once, Ronon had Murry in his arms, who was now deeply comatose and Rodney, Teyla and John formed a triangle around them, each brandishing their weapons. A grey cylinder flew through the air and landed at their feet. John went to kick it away, managing to fling his foot back only for him to be stunned with a blue shock, falling awkwardly to the ground, still trying to grab the canister as he fell. Teyla swung round, lifted her gun and fired into the trees; a wraith screech and a thud identified a definitive hit.

Three wraith sentinels, festooned with face, arm and leg guards burst from the undergrowth, wielded their guns and one, who happened to be bleeding, shot Teyla in the shoulder and leg, sending her flying to the ground, where the gas spewing from the can, in a combination with the pain, knocked her out. Rodney fired his gun blindly in the direction of the guards, hitting two of them when a fourth, superior, wraith erupted from behind him, kicking him roughly behind the knees and walloping him with the butt of his own gun. The scientist too, fell into the noxious sedating fumes that carpeted the floor at ankle level.

Ronon scrambled for his own gun as the wraith, flanked by the guards advanced and gestured to the wraith balanced precariously in the Satedan's arms, speaking in powerful, brusque tones.

"_Hand him over now human, you know not what evil you hold in your arms_"

Ronon just managed to grab the gun at his hip and staying poised with the unconscious Murry in one arm, raised it with the other. The guards snarled and rapidly wielded their own weapons but the wraith hissed a warning out of the corner of his mouth to them.

"_You might damage him, put the weapons down_"

The guards slowly lowered the weapons and the wraith stared down the barrels of Ronon's gun with no fear in his eyes or posture, he was calm and cold to the point of insensitivity to the world around him.

"_We are taking him home human. You would not deny him his rightful place, would you?_"

Ronon did not even blink, the wraith's words slid off him like oil off of marble and he cocked the gun, positioning his finger against the trigger but not applying pressure just yet.

"_Think what is best for him, he is not your pet and you cannot keep him like one. He belongs with us. If you do not hand him over peacefully, we will take him. You cannot shoot us all at once, no matter how talented you are._"

The guards, as if on cue, again lifted their guns. The wraith also raised his gun though he was not smiling, but Ronon could sense the others smiling smug confident smiles beneath the masks, he constantly shifted target from each one but as a counter measure they slowly encircled him so he could only see two at once.

"_You are out-gunned human, you cannot win here. You can either hand him over and help your own kind or we will kill you, your friends and take him anyway_"

He managed to shoot and kill three of the guards with headshots but as soon as he squeezed the trigger for a third time, he felt the spark and paralysing pain of the stunner. As he hit the floor, the last thing he heard was the wraith's voice.

"_I am not so callous as to refuse you the chance to survive but do not come after your friend, he will not be the same if you do chance upon another meeting in the future_"

And with that, darkness ate up his vision as he still to no avail snatched at the air in front of him. The wraith made sure Ronon was unconscious before signalling to the guards, who lifted Murry by the limbs and carried him away, melding quickly with the murk beyond the greenery.

**Meanwhile In Atlantis…**

Jenny scrambled on her hands and knees below the lip of the cafeteria salad bar bench, strenuously pulling behind her a box on a coarse grey blanket across the linoleum floor. Inside the conspicuous cardboard box, which had until then contained semi-classified documents, was now filled to the brim with various provisions, cheese sandwiches, stale biscuits, tins of beans and macaroni, various pickled food in jars and other things that had been lying on the bottom shelves of the cupboards and fridges.

Charlotte was running through the corridors, dashing occasionally into the now unoccupied rooms and snatching the blankets and pillows from the beds, shoving them quickly into a quilt cover. She dragged the sack of material through the lesser-travelled hallways and walkways to the hiding place carefully chosen by her. One reason was of course was its remoteness and the other for the lengths to which you have to get to it, through the maze of corridors, up three separate sets of stairwells, through two other big rooms and up a final iron ladder through a half-sized door. The pig-iron grey room on the other side was angular and awkward for anyone taller than five feet to navigate and so was perfect for their mission planning.

Allie and Jake, on a joint mission, snuck cautiously through the infirmary, avoiding the nurses and doctors who bustled around by diving beneath some very convenient gurneys. They eventually made it to the first aid room and after some hunting found what they'd been looking for. A steel box, eighteen inches by six, with a green cross painted on it, Jenny had told them exactly what to take and opening it, they checked a mental list of; a very thick wad of white bandage, lots of packets of bandages and anti-septic wipes, and white tape. But there were also syringes and two vials of liquids called adrenaline and morphine. The two boys were very careful with them, wrapping them protectively in little bits of bandage. Allie shut, locked and jammed the box underneath his baggy t-shirt while Jake made sure the coast was clear and together they hastened back through the rooms to the hidey-hole that Charlotte had shown them.

Conner and Devi sat in the dining room with their meals, with Turi, whom they'd forcibly dragged from Charley's room later that day to discuss what was going on with their young associates.

"I saw Jenny carrying a box filled with food, when I asked what she was doing, she screamed and ran"  
Conner began, half-way between worried and elated by the children's antics, Devi felt this too and hiccupped a giggle.

"Yeah, Allie had something stuffed up his shirt, he was running up the stairs"

Turi stared ahead, not feeling anything but a dull numbness, his eyes dim and jaded where they'd usually be alight with ideas unsaid, but well thought of. Silence descended on the table when the two looked to him, expecting a comment but not receiving any. They looked to each other and blushing a little, they grimaced and began to eat, quietly devouring their breakfast while Turi didn't even bother to lift his fork.

A/N I wish to thank Amaruk, Wraithlover, Frankie the Elf and Lymbis for reviewing chapter 24. WOOP!!! it's the twenty-fifth chappie, Go Me lol.

Steve the Plushie: 'glares'

...and of course Go Steve, My Happy Little Helper!! and of course all of you readers and reviewers, 'gives everyone each an extra-big choc-chipped cookie and a colourful woollen hat with pompoms!'

Everyone give love to Mike trying kick his habit of blowing stuff up in a most malicious and delightful manner !!!


	26. Stuck In A NerveFilled Limbo

Teyla lay propped up against a cold stone, strips of ripped up blankets functioning as make-shift bandages, that were holding, for now. She was feverish and as the morning passed, they all grew increasingly worried about her weakening condition. Ronon focused his entire mind on keeping everyone alive, especially Teyla; he never let his mind wander from the task at hand or become at all distracted lest he think of Murry and snap, he could feel it just under his skin, bursting to come out. But he kept it under lock and key, he would save it for when the time came to utilize and release it, a force unto the world, Murry once told him, that he was a force unto the world.

Noon came and went, no one speaking much and neither John nor Rodney had the heart to announce the truly bleak state of the immediate future for them all.

John stared down at his team, Teyla unconscious and getting worse, Rodney suffering the tail ledge of a concussion and Ronon, who appeared fine but was on the edge of a breakdown in his tough, almost impenetrable mentality.

"We're going home, we'll go to the delta site and contact Atlantis from there, there'll be no trouble, they've already gotten what they wanted"

He ignored Ronon as he bristled at his thoughtless comment and marched on, supporting Rodney from one side. He was tired; he really was weary of this reality, having seen enough, felt enough and almost sick to the stomach of it. As John and Rodney slowly walked from the tree lined clearing, Teyla mumbled something quietly in her sleep, her voice was faint and as Ronon kneeled, he strained to hear it.

"R-R-Ronon, if t-this r-reaches you, I-I'm s-still alive, I-I'm ok, d-don't worry about m-m-me, I'll e-escape s-somehow and f-find you again, I w-will find you a-again Ronon, but d-don't w-wait up B-buddy. T-they c-can't k-keep m-me h-here f-forever, t-there's always a w-way out…"

Ronon recognized the voice instantly and searched Teyla's face for any hint of her awakening. He grunted quietly and plucked her carefully and quickly from the ground and jogged through the trees. Now he had a mission. Now he had a purpose and a plan, he could get Murry back, but first he had to save Teyla.

On A Wraith Nursery Planet… 

Murry scraped back to reality hoping that his message got through, hoping that Ronon was alive and that he had heard it. He felt ill and was unused to the feeling, his tongue felt coated in fuzz, as did his thoughts; he stared down at his forearm and the drip that fed into it.

He'd been carried into what once must've been a very grand Hive Ship, but now was a wreck, ploughed into the ground and with the walls slowly decomposing, beginning to return to it. The tubes carrying its life-blood were brand new behind the membrane and none connected to the engine, he observed silently, and the room he was in now had, long ago, been a cell. The web had been cut from the front but it was still recognisable, he lay on a bench-turned- bed, with furs keeping his wintry temperature above freezing. Two wraith sentinels stood guard over him, but did not seem very hostile, they carried no guns that Murry could see and exchanged words in an informal manner, keeping quiet in light of their prisoner.

He curled up instinctively beneath the quilt; everything was cold, so cold. His mind was sluggish and couldn't keep up with his thoughts. It was drugs, he realised, they were pumping full of evil sedation narcotics. He turned on his side and swatted bluntly at the drip stand. When the guards noticed his attempts, they casually called out and the wraith from before appeared at the open doorway. He dismissed the guards with a wave of his hand.

"_Now, Murry, the drugs will make you feel better after a while, leave it alone_"

Murry mumbled a retort but soon realised that the words that appeared in his mind weren't coming out of his mouth so instead he grasped the tubule in his fist and pulled it from his arm, throwing it defiantly to the floor, enjoying the sight of the liquid pouring out, spilling into a puddle on the floor. After some attempts, he managed to form two words.

"F-f-fuck you"

The wraith sighed and kneeled at the bedside.

"_We're going to fix you, make you healthy again. You most likely don't remember that much about your distant past but you were once an unrivalled warrior and leader…_"

Murry used all of his present concentration and strength to lurch forward and get hold of the wraith's face, flailing wildly, and almost by chance, three of his claws scratched three parallel long red line down his face before the wraith could withdraw. But as Murry lunged, he became unbalanced and crashed solidly to the floor and while lying there he realised that he couldn't move his legs, he kicked desperately but his limbs refused to obey, and helpless, he stared up at his captor and growled, and to his captive, the wraith said.

"_This is either going to be an easy, relatively quick process or a long and arduous one, but it will happen, whether you want it to or not. My name is Karitz, should you feel the need to curse me in the near future_."

And with that, Karitz floated from the room, the picture of serenity but for three angry welts down his face that had already stopped weeping.

Unlike the majority of his kind, Karitz possessed a knack for calmness rather than aggression and this made him the deadlier of the two opponents, for he thought before he charged and normally always looked before he leaped. The guards reappeared and lifted him with ease back onto the bed and returned to their posts at the doorway. Murry hissed a whisper to no one in particular, it would've been to Ronon if he'd been there at that moment. He shook his head and slumped, limp back onto the bed.

"I-I'm in s-s-some c-crazy f-fucking s-shit n-now"

'Squees' Much thanks to new reviewer Lujana (thanks for enjoying it) ! and also to the efficient, reliable and all merciful reviewers, Amaruk, Lymbis and Wraithlover, for reviewing chapter 25 )


	27. Compassion Encased In Unforgiving Stone

The children sat in a semi-circle in their hideaway, admiring their tremendous efforts. A huge pile of supplies, food, blankets and backpacks, the medi-kit and clothes. They clapped each other on the back and began to pack everything into the rucksacks, keeping them the right weights for the person carrying them. Eventually, all packed up and tucked in, they stood and admired each other, not thinking about the future but about the present and all they'd managed to achieve.

Jennifer and Allie took the lead as they travelled out the room, with Charlotte and Jake at the back, keeping a careful eye on Dominic and Serak who marched in between their elders. They marched in formation through the corridors, down the stairs and ladders. Cautious and wary, they passed by the closed door to Charley's darkened, gloomy room, and each slipped a separate envelope beneath the threshold. As they walked away, they crossed their fingers for her; all were deeply saddened by the fact that they were leaving her behind, but they sucked in their gut and were on their way again, marching to the Gate room, when there was an announcement.

Meanwhile In The Forest… 

Ronon slashed a path through the trees, holding Teyla close to his chest, ignoring the certain way her head bounced on a particular spot against him, reminiscent of Murry. John and Rodney followed the trail left by the ex-runner, going as fast as Rodney could run without moving his head and causing further disorientation.  
Ronon kept one eye and ear to the blurring scenery at either side of him but the rest of his senses were focused on Teyla, just in case she awoke, or Murry spoke once more through her paled lips. Her eyes flickered momentarily under the lids, dreaming of whatever her mind created from memories, perhaps of where Murry was, but he didn't wake her, instead he kept on running through the ancient forest, checking off landmarks as he went and then all at once he found himself at the Stargate. John and Rodney appeared not long after and Sheppard took charge once more, slapping his palm against each panel and when the wormhole surged, he didn't blink, seconds later and all together, they walked through.

When they reappeared on the other side they were faced with a platoon of ten soldiers and at first, they brandished guns but then, almost immediately lowered them. The younger, more exuberant soldiers jumped for joy but most of the rest were just immensely pleased to see the familiar team. No one questioned the wraith's absence, or Ronon's distance, he neither joined in with the celebration nor smiled or laughed. John and Rodney couldn't really put their hearts into the occasion of home, with Ronon suffering, Teyla injured and (after some hesitation) their friend missing, captured and far from home.

Elizabeth Weir was called right away, as was a medical team, and under anaesthetic, after some x-rays, the implants removed and Teyla underwent surgery to remove the bullets and stitch the wounds. They travelled home a few hours later under a depressive cloud as dense and as dark as a midnight storm, Teyla wheeled, in her opinion, unnecessarily, in a wheelchair.

As they walked into the Gate room, the children were running towards it, their faces alight with expectation and delight. Turi, Devi and Conner rushed right behind them, smiling in spite of everything, anticipating Murry's arrival. But confusion, angry and grief-fuelled tears followed at the news.

"What do you mean he was CAPTURED!?"

Devi could hold it in no more and with angry tears spilling down her face, she confronted Ronon.

"HOW COULD YOU LET THEM GET HIM? I THOUGHT YOU WERE HIS FRIEND!"

Ronon stood staid and sober; he could feel a lump crawling up his throat and swallowed it quickly. Devi screamed in frustration at the silent wall that received her, ignoring the looks from the rest of the room, too distraught to care, she laid into him, kicking and punching him. Ronon caught the punches and blocked the kicks, picked the girl up and hugged her, carrying her from the room, followed by eight other numb, distressed, hysterical, lost little faces who knew nothing else to do. As the Satedan parted through the crowd, he told Devi of what happened, the whole truth of it, leaving nothing out and she cried into his solid shoulder. Turi marched on, dead inside, in Ronon's wake, he'd been so elated when Elizabeth had announced over the tannoy how the team had been gotten to the delta site, how after some medical care off world they'd been fine and were coming home, how devastated and broken he'd felt when only four came through that Gate.

The younger children, forgotten, threw their rucksacks at the corridor wall, smashing up the jars and food, tearing the blankets, just to feel something other than the hole that Murry had left now he wasn't coming home. They tore everything they'd made and hurled it at the walls. Allie, in a fit of pure fury, used the shards of glass from the jars to score along the walls, leaving long white scratches in the metal. No one checked them for a long time, and when someone noticed the mess they'd already made their way tearfully to Murry's former room, each wrapping themselves in something of his and they slept, physically and mentally exhausted.

Meanwhile On The Hive Ship… 

Karitz stared at the test tubes in his lab with a critical eye, checking for the forth time that everything was in the exact volumes, for any mistake now would be irrevocable. Finally satisfied with the solutions, he filled a needle with the lime green contents of one. Faintly frowning he said quietly to himself.

"_Let us hope this works, if not…_"

He left the sentence hanging, not going as far as to answer himself, and slipped the syringe into a slot in his cloth case. In an almost ritualistic fashion, he wrapped the case up and placed it into the pocket of his long laboratory coat. Karitz did not enjoy this stage, the First Stage. In his professional and personal opinion, it caused far too much unneeded distress and pain to the patient, which could be avoided by exploring other means. But, it was not his decision, it was his Queen's, and who was he to question his Queen on any decision she made?

He arrived at Murry's room, or cell, depending on whose belief you followed. The wraith was lying beneath the covers, facing away from the door; he did not react to Karitz's arrival. The name still felt strange on his tongue but he used it anyways, he needed to establish some trust or at least an honest connection with him, otherwise Stage Two would be all the harder.

"_Murry, I'm going to inject you with something that is going to begin the process of your recovery…_"

At the mention of the injection, the figure beneath the quilts stiffened, shrinking visibly to a small ball, his uniquely plaited hair disappearing from sight.

"_This is going to hurt a lot, and will be frightening. I will not lie to you here Murry, this is going to be incredibly painful, but you know well the path of pain and have walked it far, you will survive_"

Karitz walked over to the bed, lifted the covers and looked down at the shivering hunched figure; his eyes squeezed shut in fear and his hands gripping tightly behind his neck.

"_There is no need to forgive me for what I am about to do to you, but at least understand that I do it for the best_"

And with that, Karitz cringed and pressed the point of the needle to the nape of Murry's neck, injecting the liquid with a push of the button with one hand, and the other he held the violently squirming wraith down. He retreated and the last thing he saw was Murry arching his back on the faux bed and screaming to the ceiling. The guards hurried in afterward his departure to fit the restraints but Karitz did not stay to watch. Instead, he went to his lab to tinker with the mixes of chemicals needed for the next batch of medication, and while he did so, he thought about whether he could find a way to smuggle some anaesthetic onto the isolated, abandoned Hive Ship.

A/N Many grateful thankees to another new reviewer, Lady Vyxen (and mother)!! But of couse never ever EVER forgetting Female'wraith, Wraithlover, Lymbis and (as always) Amaruk.

Steve has caught my VERY aggressive cold, (hence it was so bad he actually caught it before his little wraithy platelet thingys could kill it)

Steve the Plushie: 'sulks but ruins look with violent sneeze'


	28. An Origami Swan In The Storm Drain

Karitz meticulously tapped his talons against the metal top of his workbench, hunched forward over it, his palms splayed wide, his annoyance furrowing his brow and lending fuel to his puzzlement. The wraith scientist turned to the guard as he gave his report on the patient's meagre progress throughout the last extremely time-consuming month. He'd increased the drug dose and concentration as much as he dared, on the very edge of straying in the red zone, but Murry was still not responding to any of the combination of painful character inhibitors.

"_That is enough, you can leave now_"

Karitz interrupted the guard half way through, his frustration at the lack of results lending impatience to his tone. Alone in his grey metal and blue matter lab, he thumbed his temples, gritted his teeth and stared intensely, near obsessively as he had been for days on end, at the board of calculations.

There was no medical reason behind how Murry could be resisting the behaviour modifying medication and in the weeks since his captured he'd slipped into a terminal depression and stayed there, neither moving nor responding, even when administered the drugs, he lay with his eyes glassy and watering, limp on the bed.

"_How are you doing this? Stubborn, like always, stuck in your choices, habits and decisions. Is there no changing you?_"

Karitz muttered under his breath, sucking the air in through his nose and trying fervently not to let the wasted time get to him. He waved a hand through the air and the writing on the board seemed to burst to life, he was altogether surrounded by a loop of golden calculations in modern Common Tongue mathematics, universal language indeed.

Concentration came easily to him just like his natural composure, intelligence and diligence. Not that he was without his faults; they were sitting right in front of him. One of the most obvious, and the one he found most irritating, was his compassion for his patients, he'd just seen too many go to their graves, been in the business of experiments too long, so much unnecessary wasted potential for life. But now this was his reward from the Queen for his work. This should've been his and Murry's redemption, if Murry hadn't been so rutted in continuing the existence forced upon him by so much experimentation and torture.

He groaned, waved his hand and the golden writing fell away, fading the lab into the familiar semi-darkness.

Murry felt nothing where he now was. He was numb to the point where he could no longer see the world around him, neither could he sense any of it. And separated from the pain, he lived in his dreams of Atlantis, of caring warrior Ronon and beautiful Charley, of fiery Devi, calm and collected Turi and serious Conner, life-loving Jenny and Charlotte, mischievous Allie and Jake, young Dominic and humorous Serak. All the light and all the life and the pendant that hung round Ronon's neck, if he was still alive. The everyday miracle that fell apart for him, that hung in tatters, all beyond his now linear, anaesthetized existence. The hours and days bled into one another, time had so little meaning. He might as well be drowning.

Meanwhile In Atlantis… 

As Charley lay on her bed, her condition rose steadily from critical, responding wonderfully to the drugs, within the month she was near awakened, now only dreaming. When she dreamed, she dreamt of Murry and his plight, his location and Karitz but the dreams were blurred and terrifying in their twisted out of proportion design, the irony of her youth, her memory and emotions in turmoil.

But Charley's recovering was the only good news for the children and the team and as the month rolled so slowly on by, they began to lose any hope for any sign. Ronon let the hope go like an origami bird down a storm drain, watching futilely as it was swept away in the all-encompassing tides. Things cropped up, situations to be dealt with, wraith to be killed. And it was no harder than it was before, soon he slipped into his old custom of forgetting all about Murry, only to remember him all over again when he happened to look down at the white half-moon around his neck. Sometimes at night, he held it tight in his fist, near sleep, and thought that Murry knew he was moving on and leaving him behind, and it shamed him, but it was forgotten when morning came.

That morning, Turi sat with Devi and Conner, guarding sentinel over Charley as she took her little breaths and the machines beeped in time with her heart. Ronon stood outside, leaning against the doorway and facing outwards to give them a little more privacy. A pile of letters, flowers and soft toys had built up and spilled over the bedside cabinet onto the bed and floor, messages of hope and support from all over the city, along with the other children's unopened envelopes that sit hidden beneath in the drawer.

"Why do all these people care so much, when they didn't even know her?"

Devi asked in a curiously strained voice, as if she was choked with tears inside. Turi looked away briefly from Charley's pale face to the huge mountain and back.

"It's different here, I think that one person's sorrow is everyone's"

"But then why do they not care about Murry"

"Because they didn't consider him a person"

Devi's face flushed pink with anger but she said nothing, too emotionally weary to express, in full, her violent vehemence. She was about to lean over the bed when Charley eyes flew open and she a scream escaped her throat. Everyone jumped back from the bed and someone yelped, Ronon entered the room and stared. Charley began to cry out, her voice feeble and fraught with terror and exhaustion.

"Murry's in trouble, in heaps of trouble, drowning. Karz's hurtin' him, he's hurtin' him, make him stop it, help him pull Murry out the water…"

She gasped and wrestled with the covers, pulling herself up but she was too weak and collapsed into a stranded teddy bear. The doctors and nurses swooped in and hurriedly ushered them all out, even Ronon was shooed away from the door as it was shut, leaving the four of them standing in the corridor. They were about to move on to the cafeteria, talking giddily and laughing at nothing, when Teyla rushed down the corridor to meet them, jabbering about an important dream she'd had while meditating.

A/N I am so sorry, I completely rushed this chapter and it's way too short but it will have to do as I have no more time. Mucho Thanks to Amaruk, Lujana, Lady Vyxen, Lymbis, Frankie the Elf and Wraithlover for reviewing chapter 27, I appreciate all your support, that you care about the story as much as I do and that you like Karitz!! I will write a longer and better Chapter as a reward!!


	29. The Sand Falling from a Nuclear Winter

Karitz was in his lab when the alarm rung, loud and whining. He spun his heels and pounded the corridor pavement, flying through the ship, guards flanking him from other tributary corridors. He reached the modified cell and yanked out his cloth case from his pocket, there were guards surrounding the bed, all bristling with their weapons.

"_I want everyone out of here, NOW!_ "

Now, most of the guards had been around Karitz for what seemed like forever, and never had any of them heard him raise his voice ever before and so they vacated the room like rats from a sinking ship. Blood covered the walls but Karitz ignored that, as did he ignore the injuries on the bodies; he just focused on what he had to do. He unwound his cloth case, pulled out a needle full of clear liquid and pushed it through Murry's neck and into the vein that pulsed grotesquely against the skin. He began to slip into spasms.

Karitz's had only ever seen this intensity of a reaction before, when a patient of his had went insane after ingesting an overdose of an experimental adrenaline-substitute, the sample had messed up his mind and he'd killed thirty before being killed himself.

The blood around Murry's mouth was not his own, that he did notice. This side-affect he'd seen before, after the behaviour inhibitors went into affect. Uncontrollable rage, horrific mood swings, usually followed by either the desire effect of selective amnesia, the erasing chosen by Karitz himself from a screen connected the patient by electrodes, or coma and death. He grabbed Murry's hand and he felt Murry squeeze back feebly. The rage would come in waves for the next few hours, exhaustion and realisation always following after them, but the violence being the extreme of fire.

"_You're going to be okay…_ "

And after a moment of consideration and looking, a little paranoid, over his shoulder, Karitz added something that had not passed his lips for over thirty odd years.

"_Riain…I'm right here, you've got to beat this_"

There was a pause, and the wraith who had once been known as Riain by Karitz, opened his eyes.

**Thirty-Five Years In The Past…**

Riain stretched out sleepily on the furs, his blue hued skin smooth and unscarred, and his face untroubled by the things that would mar him in his near future. His room was simplistic but everything that mattered to him was right there, within his reach and touch. The walls pulsed with bright vivacity and a mellow light; he had a big clear glass window to watch the hyper-drive stars pass on by.

His contented thoughts were interrupted when something big and soft hit him in the face when he looked up, Karitz stood above him, wielding another pillow and grinning evilly. Riain moaned, and smiling, he crawled beneath the furs and stayed there, hunkered down against the expected pillow assault. Karitz laughed, a loud, deep, life-filled laugh that filled the room, and he dropped his weapon.

"_You don't have any excuse to be lazing around, you've done nothing for so long that your muscles should be wasting away_"

And Riain popped his head out of the edge, still smiling humorously. He slid out from under the soft pelt and stood, his slender but well toned body perched on two smooth lined, powerful legs. He pointed one finger accusingly at the scientist.

"You speak lies and slander Karitz, you do even less than me, pretending you're making all that progress, while all you really do is sit and flick paper balls around at each other"

They both laughed and Riain clapped his arm around Karitz's shoulders. There was nothing either of them needed more in the world.

All of a sudden, their good mood was interrupted by an alarm, one that sounded from somewhere deep in the bowels of the ship and not one that could be heard by conventional means, but one that was sent by the Queen herself, from her chamber. Riain snatched his coat and knife-belt, wrapping it urgently around his waist and sprinted out, Karitz close on his heels.

Riain was the Queen's right hand in military matters, Karitz in scientific, they were the most respected wraith on this Hive Ship and hated on so many others for their advances in technology and organics, and their victories on the battlefield.

When they reached the chamber, the Queen stood, elegant as always, in her long snug deep blue gown and vibrant flowing red hair. She admired her soldier and scientist for a moment before speaking.

"A situation has arisen on the planet Tourin. Riain, I wish you to accompany the platoon. I do not expect it to be anything you cannot handle"

She waited another moment before turning to Karitz.

"I wish you to begin the experimentations as soon as possible, I would like to see some viable results Karitz"

Together the two wraiths bobbed their white haired heads to their leader and the Queen inclined hers slightly in return.

"Now go"

**The Present Day On Atlantis…**

Together, Teyla, Ronon, Devi, Turi and Conner walked through the corridors, Teyla speaking all the way to Elizabeth Weir's office.

"This dream was unlike anything I have experienced before, except for once when Murry and myself were on the balcony. It was very real; Murry is on an abandoned wraith Hive Ship, he won't last much longer as we know him. I awoke to find this address at my bedside…"

She showed them the scrawled address and Ronon's heart sunk and fluttered all at once. The writing was identical to Murry's own scribbled handwriting. Turi could barely breath but his mind was racing.

"What do you mean, 'as we know him'"

Teyla took a deep breath and looked down at the boy.

"He is undergoing a treatment that will reverse all his years of torture, it will take him back to who he was before…a true wraith"

Devi gasped and began to run, as did everyone else pick up the pace. Conner said nothing.

Reaching Dr Weir's office, Teyla explained the situation quickly. Elizabeth knew the dangers, the risks, as did her team. Turi used the gap of indecision to jump in.

"If you please Dr Weir, Murry is the only thing Charley has away from us, you must get him back, we're begging you, for Charley…and for ourselves"

Devi nodded, desperate to rush on and to stop wasting time. Ronon held his breath and stared down at Elizabeth, saying nothing, joining Conner in the silence.

"Teyla, could this be a trapping of some kind?"

The Athosian women thought for a fraction of a second before shaking her head.

"No, I think this was the last thing he was able to send, his last hope. The dream I had descended into red nearing the end, we could be going after nothing but I believe he is still alive and awaiting our rescue"

Elizabeth stood from her chair, trying to be balanced about this important decision but she truly wanted to shout for them to go, to save that poor tortured soul and so she went with her heart rather than her head, her humanity instead of her intelligence.

"Yes, go, quickly. John, Rodney and Beckett will accompany you, meet them in the Hanger."

Devi was about to rush off again when Ronon placed his hand on her shoulder and shook his dreadlocked head.

"You aren't coming Devi, you have to stay here in case Charley wakes up again"

She was near tearful; once more, she was being treated as a child where she was just as good as an adult.

"I know you don't like it, but that's the way it is kiddo, keep your chin up"

And with one last look back at the four of them, Ronon saluted gravely and raced towards the hanger in the footsteps of Teyla.

Meanwhile On The Hive Ship… 

Murry lay on the bed struggling, screaming and spitting blood and saliva, but now he was held in place with strong leather restraints and buckles. His mind was blank, barren, like a dead nuclear winter. He didn't know his own name or the face that hovered above him but he knew hate and he knew pain.

Karitz turned away from the monstrous screeching, bucking thing, and waited for the episode to pass, as it would eventually, the episodes always passed. He'd barely batted an eyelid at every other patient he'd seen with this reaction but now he felt sick seeing Riain this way. It made him nauseous to see such an ingenious and inspiring warrior reduced in such a way.

"_But it is necessary. It is necessary to get through to him. This is my reward. He is my prize, the chance to have him back_."

Karitz whispered under the ferocity of the unholy screaming.

A/N Lots and lots of thankees and hats and mittens and go to all you brilliant folk who reviewed chapter 28, Amaruk, Lymbis, Wraithlover, Lujana and Frankie the Elf xxx I have tried with this chapter, hope you all like it!!

Steve the Plushie: 'jumps onto the table and cackles in triumph, his wraithy body having beaten the evil cold'


	30. Preparing for Battle and Rays of Hope

The team sat in the Jumper, waiting on clearance, and facing the Gate as it was dialled, the outside ring turning far too slowly for Ronon, who's exterior was as cool as he ever was on the outside, but inside he was crackling like a chained firework, eager to explode and take someone's hand off. Teyla was counting on her own gift, or curse, and Murry's minds reliability, she almost laughed in an unnatural bitterness, not much hope for any of them then. John concentrated on the controls; feeling barely rested and now he was plunging back into danger for someone, albeit a friend, he hardly knew, who was probably dead by now anyway. Beckett, having never properly been introduced to the wraith, was feeling only a little apprehensive, his med kit in the rack at the back of the Jumper and all the expertise he had running uselessly through his mind. Rodney was fingering the trigger of the gun on his lap, wishing he could be more helpful and that he could have something to do other than think of all the possible ways that this rescue mission could go wrong, which numbered in the hundreds. All of a sudden, the iris exploded and contracted back, and John flew through the blue. Rodney clambered to the front as they flew over the yellow plains that were devoid of any life and the ancient blackened trees, still standing though half dead.

"The Hive Ship, using the co-ordinates, is on the other side of the planet"

John blinked once and shoved full on with the thrusters as soon as the scientist had settled back into his seat.

Meanwhile In The Hive Ship… 

Karitz sat at one side of the bed, staring down at the now unconscious wraith, a lump lodged in his throat and a black ominous case on the floor.

"_What did they dare do to you, Riain? How much did you endure?_"

He whispered forlornly, running his fingers along the horrific scars that adorned Riain's face. He leaned forward and a vicious desire ran through him, his iratus instincts not thoroughly suppressed by his usual serenity. He murmured quietly into Riain's ear, his words hissing gently as he did so.

"_I hope you made them pay Riain, I hope you made them scream_"

And when the streak of malice left him, he placed the back of his hand affectionately against Riain's face and stood, his boots hitting the floor with a soft thud. Something in his pocket bleeped, the purple and blue organic pager, and upon removing it, he walked briskly out of the room. A guard met him half way towards the command station and quickly explained the situation.

"It just flew out the Gate, we caught it on the camera"

The guard passed Karitz the palm pilot and on the screen was a horizontal angled image that looked straight into the Puddlejumper's windscreen. The wraith held it tight in his taloned grip, recognizing Ronon's determined face instantly. For a moment, he wished for Riain to wake up and retake military command as he had done so outstandingly for so many years, but the feeling quickly moved on, as he knew he had to make the decisions here.

"_Ready the darts, I want this dealt with and out the way before we move on to Stage Two. The humans must not reach here of their own accord. If you can, keep them alive, especially this one_"

Karitz pointed at Ronon Dex with one steady talon, staring curiously at the Satedan's face. Planning ahead had once been so easy, a speciality of his, when Riain had been with him, but alone he could barley keep track of a few hours ahead. He returned the palm pilot quickly and the guard was off to relay the instructions.

Time, the hours seemed to pass so quickly but the days so slowly when he was alone. He shook his head, his straight, white hair falling back into perfect place as he whirled and returned to Riain's room to attach the electrodes, which would eventually allow him to access the wraith's memories and systematically delete them, retrieving the ones that had been lost and restoring Riain to his rightful mind and place.

Karitz felt almost giddy at the prospect of returning to the Hive Ship that was in a far orbit, high above the planet's surface and was shielded by one of his own creation, a device which hid it from all detection, something to be proud of.

A true hero's welcome would befall them. So long now had Riain been missing that the new generation of wraith, only now being born in this time of crisis, had only heard about him in myths and legends of his incredible victories and triumphs over other Hives. Even now, the elders, who had been so set in their ways of war, looked favourably upon the sciences and Karitz, as he had been tied in such a way to the great military leader, second-in-command to the Queen.

Meanwhile In Atlantis… 

Devi was restless and with the heart of a lioness, she prowled the hallways, unable to stay still, wishing she were out helping with the rescue of their hero, taking her share of the righteous kill. Turi knew he would be unable to calm his sister, knowing that her familiar feelings of helplessness and inequity would never leave her for a long time. He knew his sister almost better than he knew himself.

Sitting outside of Charley's room, he waited on any news of her well being, badgering the doctors and nurses in a manner that was most unlike him. He was becoming increasingly frustrated, if a little paranoid, with the lack of information they were willing to give him, finding that he couldn't calm. Conner waited with him, but didn't bother to stand when a doctor or nurse opened the door and shut it quietly, shaking his or head when asked by the twin if they could go inside. Eventually a compassionate elder nurse, named Miss Rebecca Smith, gave them some precious and insightful information.

"She is doing fine boys, she'll be up and about soon, you'll see, the doctors just want her to rest for now"

The two boys felt a much-needed relief flood their systems and they ran to tell the others.

Rebecca Smith, with her greying brunette hair tied back in a loose ponytail and her calloused hands clasped in front of her, watched the boys run off and she smiled, sighing in a contented way that she had been of some emotional support to those poor, orphaned children. Now she was in no way narrow-minded and had never had been set in any beliefs she held, so the prospect of them placing their faith in a creature sent by nature to destroy humanity, was no more alien to her than people putting their faith in a God which allowed millions to go hungry. And so, she cared, believing in the strength of character of that wraith they loved so much and wished for his safe return, for his own and all the younglings' sakes.

A/N Double Whammy ! So whatd'yah all think? Tell me, just push the itty bitty button lol, but anyways thankues go out to Lymbis and Wraithlover for the awesome reviews on chapter 29...O.o the big three-oh lol.

Steve the Plushie: 'leans back and looks very pleased with himself'

Oh...P.S If anyone would like to read a slash story centred between Dr McKay and an original wraith character, check out my new other story 'Nakira'...


	31. A Little Sprinkle of Hatred and Revenge

Charley wrapped her weak arms around the large grey bear given to her by the nice old woman and cried into its stomach, screaming herself blue but not wanting the nurses to hear her and sedate her. She hated that syringe so much.

"Not fair, not fair,"

She wailed helplessly. The doctors wouldn't let her talk to anyone and so she couldn't tell her friends of what she saw. She saw an unrecognisable creature in the place of her hero, she saw Murry fast disappearing, and saw fear and pain and disaster and death if they weren't quick enough. But she could also see courage, hope and a happy ending, and it all tipped on the scales of what Murry did.

"Please hurry, hurry"

She whimpered into the soft fur of the bear, and cuddling into it, she fell into a troubled sleep, haunted by her premonitions of Murry and his fate.

Devi sat silent in her room, on her bed, watching the shadows growing long and feeling her mood darkening. Turi watched his sister from his own bed, frowning quietly to himself. Conner lay on the floor, his arms outstretched and his eyes closed, though he was not sleeping, just thinking.

"We're never going to see him again, you know that don't you?"

Conner's voice floated up from the floor in an unsettling tone that worried Turi. There was even a hint of hysteric in his voice, the vague threat of the boy going over edge.

"Even if they get him back alive, they'll just kill him, he's _dangerous_"

He spat out the last word; his voice dripping with sarcasm and Devi flew from her bed, standing over Conner with all the ferocity and the deadliness of an ancient predator.

"You saying what now?"

She said, her voice bristling with a challenge. Conner jumped to his feet and pointed an accusing finger at the teenage girl.

"You know I'm talking the truth"

She physically prickled at the mention of truth. She raised her fist but she suddenly found herself unable to scream or even complete the action and so, instead, she let her arm fall limp and she slopped back onto the bed, sighing.

"And what if you are?"

He had no answer to that.

Meanwhile On The Jumper… 

Rodney directed John via the flat-screen laptop in his hands over the Colonel's shoulder and just when the ruins of a crashed Hive Ship appeared over the horizon, the wail of darts echoed through the small dead-tree valley, the laptop confirming with a beep what they could all see with their own two eyes.

The scientist buckled up quickly and John manoeuvred the Jumper out of the path of the ships, making proud use of the weapons on board. Ronon gripped the arms of the seat tightly; Teyla whispered a quick prayer and Carson swallowed his alarm, not letting it get the better of him, there was time for that later.

One of the craft took a direct hit and flew down out of sight, straight into the trees with smoke flying behind it, John cheered but three more appeared and all rushed the Puddlejumper at once, all shooting. John swerved out of the line of fire but it was too late, the ship had taken too much serious damage. Red lights flashed urgently all over the control panel. The Jumper burled in the air twice as John fought desperately for any control over its path. He managed to keep it steady but it was still losing altitude, fast.

"Brace yourself"

John yelled as the nose of the Jumper slammed into the forest floor, trampling down the rotten trunks of white trees easily as it ploughed through the soil, finally coming to a bone juddering halt at the foot of a huge grey stone, the whine of darts following its trajectory through the air.

Meanwhile On The Hive Ship 

Karitz sat on the stool next to Murry's bed, fingering the electrodes that lay in his lap, staring blankly at the unconscious wraith, shaking his head and not knowing what to do.

"_Am I doing the right thing Riain? I lost everything when you went missing. I thought you were dead. And now that I've found you, you might as well be dead, you don't even recognise me. What those monsters, those soulless machines, did to you I don't know. But I am going to save you_"

The feeling of indecision passed and was swiftly replaced by a solid determination, a feeling in his chest that he recognised and knew well. Karitz picked up one of the four electrodes.

It was a long, thin, black tube, fastened at one end into a mechanism that stood four feet in height and was cylindrical in shape, it was attached into the ship's pulsing artery system by it's own vein. At the other end of the electrode was at least an inch and a half long, viciously spiked, needle. He stared, almost guiltily at the sharpened end, but never the less, he was about to push it through Murry's skull, when his pager buzzed again. He started and sighed, placing the electrodes carefully back down into the case. Standing, he looked down at the slumbering wraith and smiled.

"_Don't worry, everything is going to be okay now_"

He said, full of certainly, and left the room in a rush of warm air and coat ends.  
Murry opened his eyes, having been conscious ever since sending the last message through to little Charley, and had been listening to the superior's words for a good hour; he was even more confused and irritated than ever. He looked down at the case and opened it, his eyes widening at the pointed spines that this Karitz person was going to push through his head.

"S-save m-me, m-m-my a-ass"

He removed the electrodes, snapped off the ends and shut the case, shivering while he operated, still chilled from the alien narcotics in his system. Murry padded over to the cell door and smiled, the guards had all flew away. He almost laughed, such good fortune for a change, and wandered out; placing the needles in the belt of his, too large, dark combats.

While he walked through the unfamiliar corridors, he pondered on what Karitz had spoken to him while thinking he'd been out cold.

"H-he's g-gotta b-be n-nuts. R-Riain? I-I know m-my own g-godamned n-name and it's M-Moraine, l-little f-fuck"

Murry pulled out one of the deadly sharp needles, playing with it in his hand, weighting it in his palm.

"I-I h-have h-h-had enough of p-people f-fucking w-with m-my l-life. It's m-mine, shit. M-mine. You h-hear t-that, m-my l-l-life is m-mine!"

His voice trembled as he said the words, but gained a little more strength from saying them out loud.

"A-and anyone w-who t-tries t-to m-mess w-with m-my l-life…"

He stared down at the good handful of razor sharp needles and smirked, not bothering to finish the sentence.

A/N Much Thanks to Amaruk, Lymbis, Wraithlover, Frankie the Elf and Lujana for reviewing chapter 30!! 'passes around cookies'


	32. To Renew Dwindling Strengths

Ronon coughed aggressively, spitting out the metallic taste of blood, leaving a red trail down the wall of the jumper, which ran steadily to the floor and spilled out into a little puddle. He opened one eye to quickly take in his surroundings before the light became too much and he shut it again. He was still in the crashed Puddlejumper, the others unconscious around him. Rodney was bleeding from a wound on his head, his buckle hadn't been closed right and he had flew forward on impact, Teyla was slumped awkwardly in her seat and John lay with his arms spread-eagled across the dashboard. He heard Carson groan behind him.

"You okay?"

He enquired as he opened his eyes, and, ignoring the searing sensation, unbuckled himself from the seat and stood, the world spinning for a moment as the blood rushed to his head. Beckett nodded slowly and wiped the sweat from his forehead.

"How are the others?"

The Doctor asked as he too stood from his seat, and, looking over the injured parties with a critical eye, he applied bandages where they were needed. Ronon stood out of the way but watching Carson busy at work made him restless, so he pushed the button near the door and waited as the contraption opened up at the back, revealing a decaying forest. There was no greenery underfoot or animals, the huge expanse of dead white trunks silent, but for the occasional inhuman shriek and final thud of a tree crashing to the floor. He was about to call the Doctor when he heard the whine of a dart overheard and swearing, he ducked back inside.

"Could we hurry it up bit?!

He shouted as the white shining lights grew closer. Carson looked up and shock his head mutely, shrugging in a helpless manner, the others were still unconscious and weren't near to coming around. Ronon swore once more under his breath and paced rapidly, trying to ignore the sound of the darts and think of a half-decent plan, Nothing came to mind, even as the darts landed just out of sight, over the crest of the hill bestowed with trees that reminded Ronon too much like the out-stretched skeleton fingers of one buried alive, still reaching vainly for the sky.

**Meanwhile On The Hive Ship…**

Murry walked through the corridors of the once living ship, feeling like a rat in an endless maze. He gripped his weapons tightly in his fist, jumping at every flicker of light and plume of smoke. He thought he could hear the sound of perpetual marching feet and began to run, panting heavily, he took the corners at break neck speed, the sound of the echo of his steps making him run all the faster. If he'd ever known where he was going, he was lost now.

Eventually, after some time, the illusion of being chased broke wide open, the fog that grasped his mind cleared and he could see his mistakes so clear in front of him. His heart rate dropped, his breathing calmed and he found himself wandering the hallways aimlessly and without any particular direction in mind, contemplating how he managed to get himself into such horrible messes. He stopped for a break, just to gather his thoughts, but he ended up sitting down on the flat floor, his back against the warm gnarled wall, his scarred head in his hands, the anger and energy that had fuelled his escape draining away in only a few seconds. It was replaced by nothing, a space devoid of emotion, but it was from this emptiness that Murry found his strength.

"I a-am n-not g-gonna end up l-lost and c-crying l-like a y-youngling, I've k-kicked d-down bigger s-shit t-than this!"

And he pulled himself to his feet with a renewed determination. With his tattered clothing and scarred skin he wandered on with a better heart in his chest. He was going to get out of this, he was going to find his way out and he was keep the promise he made to return home.

Karitz could feel his calm slipping and his frustration climbing, he was snapping unnecessarily at those who informed him of the situations that were arising and was becoming irritated at the most minute of things. This descent into madness all began when it was reported that Riain had escaped somewhere into the bowels of the ship and it was only now that Karitz discovered that he had no cameras with which to track him, he could be anywhere onboard. But then a thought occurred to him. This was crunch time, if he couldn't hold it together now then he was not fit to take charge or lead or be a hero. This is a test, he murmured quietly to himself and Karitz started to form the skeletal bones of a plan, it was quite devious and unlike him, but desperate times called for desperate measures. He breathed deeply, ran his fingers through his silky hair, sat at his workbench and began to plan the finer details of his scheme, meticulously adding guts and skin to the bones. He couldn't afford for anything to go wrong, especially with everyone's fate hanging in the balance, especially Riain's fate, which was strung up by threads so precarious and with the ground so far below…

**Meanwhile On Atlantis…**

Devi sat with her knees tucked beneath her and her head against the side of the bed. Conner's harsh words were ringing continuously in her ears and she could not rid herself of them, they spun round and round, shattering every fragile hope and all the wishful thinking she could muster. Suddenly she felt a hand upon her shoulder, light, long, pale fingers entwined themselves in her jumper and a concerned, distressed face stared down at her. Conner face was red and creased with grief-streaked tears.

"I'm sorry Devi, I didn't mean that stuff, I'm sorry…I'm…"

But he cut himself off with his own cries and sat besides her, curling into her arms and sobbing. Devi stiffened at first contact but the shrinking feeling inside her chest passed and she returned the embrace, stroking the younger boys hair and murmuring empty comforts into his ear.

"It'll be alright, you'll see, everything'll work itself out. You're just tired, really tired, hush now, come on, you can sleep in here tonight"

Devi helped the boy to his feet, pulling awkwardly on his sleeves to entice some movement, and led him to her bed, tucking him up into the covers and sitting beside him until he fell asleep. In that time she forgot the sibling-like rivalry she felt with Conner, and looking down on him, she realised how young he really was, swamped by the quilt and was pale, fragile, against the bed. A strange kind of possessiveness grabbed her by the mind and shook her.

"No one will ever hurt you, ever, I won't let them. Let them dare to touch what is mine and they will learn the hard way"

She whispered, stroking his slumbering face with her hand, and smiling a dangerous grin, she left the room.

Turi sat alone and in darkness, the only sound being that of his near inaudible breathing. The shadows around him were complete, no light and no distractions. He explored the inner workings of his mind, clearing what was not needed, purging it of complications. _Simplify_ he whispered to the seemingly empty nothingness that surrounded him.

"Must clear out the excess, so much that is not needed, so much clutter"

His words sounded a touch mad but he barely noticed. No, he barely noticed at all.

A/N Sorry for the wait folks! I'd like to take a moment to thank Amaruk, Wraithlover, Lymbis and Lujana for their reviews on chapter 31 'passes out cookies'

Steve the Plushie: 'yawns'


	33. The Blood is Swelling

Murry walked with his eyes closed, running his scarred hand along the wall, feeling every bump and jagged edge, whispering every word he had ever heard describing him.

"…reject, imperfection, pollutant, burden, insane, experiment, helpless, thing, robot, crazy, liability, monster…"

The list grew and grew until all he could hear was the rising wave of murmuring of the hundreds of voices, the wailing and screaming and shouting, the whispering and belittling. They all rolled into one huge cyclone of speech and thought. He ignored it, concentrating on the vague, blunt, quiet utterances that made up the core of the noisy storm. They were so faint, he could not hear them. They were so far away, there was no way of reaching them. He swore and opened his eyes to the steamy gloom, there was something there just beyond his reach.

"I-I-I am s-so f-fucking l-lost!"

He cried out, not only meaning that he had no idea where to go. Groaning, he whirled and in a fit of frustration, he punched the uneven wall, bursting his knuckles for the effort. He yelled in surprise and pain, and all of a sudden something bright shone in the corridor in front of him. In a panic, he scrambled away from it but in his anxiety to escape, he tripped over his too long trousers and collapsed awkwardly into a heap on the floor, his needles scattering across the floor. Lying there, he could feel something broken beneath him and screamed. It appeared to be his ankle.

Karitz tottered over his benches, and with a wave of his hand, he was in control once more. Riain had been found, not two corridors from the hanger bay, and had carelessly injured himself, now totally incapacitated. Breathing a sigh of relief, Karitz smiled and grabbed another case of electrodes. This was going to go to plan, whether Riain wanted it or not.

He arrived in a flurry of coat trails at Riain's cell, brandishing the case and all the smug happiness drained away at the sight of the wraith's terrified eyes.

"It's all going to be okay now Riain, everything is going to go back to the way things were before. We're going home, I've been waiting for this for what seems like forever"

Riain screamed again, not in pain anymore, but pure unadulterated anger and fear.

"M-m-my n-name is n-not R-Riain, it's M-Murry, you d-dumb f-fuck. I d-don't even know who y-you are, and if I-I d-did, I w-wouldn't w-want t-to g-go h-home with you, you d-disgusting p-piece of t-trash"

Karitz switched off his reactions, remembering that this was not the Riain he knew, this 'Murry' was just the product of brainwashing and torture. Nothing more and nothing less but the strongest echoes of survival.

"We will see"

Murry struggled vigourously against the bonds that now held him in place, stretching them to breaking point and screeched to the ceiling, every filthy swear word he knew in Common Tongue and Wraith tumbling out of his mouth as Karitz brought out the electrodes and unclipped the new shining needles that glinted with malicious intent, even in such low light.

"This will most likely be incredibly painful, so brace yourself"

He murmured, and shoved the first one in, followed by the second, third and fourth. Murry's screams were deafening in the small chamber but Karitz gritted his teeth and pushed on, determined to recreate the future he knew they both deserved.

**Meanwhile In the Jumper**

"Uh, I think we're in some trouble here Doc'"

Ronon muttered gravely, staring at the marching wraith guards, all armoured and all armed, quite literally, to the teeth. Carson looked through the open hatch and gulped, but gave away no fear with his face, instead remaining staid and continued to check Rodney's pulse.

"We should've made a run for it"

The Satedan continued with a touch of pride in his voice.

"Aye, we probably should have"

The doctor replied half-heartedly and he stood, taking up Rodney's stunner but not raising it. Ronon smirked and slowly wrapped his thick hand around his gun and pulled it out, setting it to kill with a casual flick of his thumb, just as the dozen-odd guards surged forward, their weapons set firmly to stun, their orders clear in their minds.

'Immobilise and capture the targets, no killing, no maiming and no feeding'

Ronon was out-numbered and out-gunned but he did not let that insignificant fact stop him. With a war cry, he charged forward, darting to and fro, weaving between the paralysing blasts, shooting down targets left, right and centre as easily as swatting flies, and they dropped to the ground, some squirming, others collapsing never to stand again. The wraith guards still charging did not spare a look to their sides and each to their own, they all synchronised their aims and shot. None missed their target and the ex-runner fell face-first to the dead forest floor, still gripping his gun tightly in his fist.  
Carson watched despairingly as Ronon was stunned and captured, even more so as the remaining guards marched towards him. The Scottish doctor looked down at the stunner in his hand and sighed, setting it down with a shake of his head.

"There's no point in going unconscious"

He murmured and walked outside the Jumper with his hands raised high.

**Meanwhile In Atlantis **

Charley sat with her knees pulled to her chest and whimpering, she rubbed her hand over the now familiar feeling of her bristling scalp. The nice nurse had explained that the 'stuff' that saved her life had to steal her hair as well. It wasn't as though she was attached to the blonde ringlets, she was just so used to them and what really bothered her was the thought of Murry not recognising her if he did return. She'd dreamt of that the night before last. Murry had returned, wrapped up in a big furry quilt with Ronon's hands on his shoulders and he didn't know her, he just looked down at her and said, in a lost, sad, almost unrecognisable, voice.

"Do you know who I am?"

It was terrifying to see him so vulnerable and desolate (she'd learned that word from Turi when he'd told her a story about a lonely baby swan) and so she pushed the dream to the very back of her mind, where it lay, half-forgotten and where it would stay until it was too late.

A/N So what do you think? Just review and tell me Anyways, thanks go to Amaruk, Wraithlover, Lujana, Frankie the Elf and Xade for reviewing chapter 32, passes cookies

Steve the Plushie: 'sits on desk and tilts finger as he cackles and casts very evil glances at the Ronon Plushie opposite him, (with sewn on scowl, cue 'awwww')'


	34. Sacrificial Demons

Ronon sat up slowly as he awoke and opened his eyes to the sight he expected to see. He was, once again, captured and in a wraith cell. Sighing heavily, he stretched his cramped arm and leg muscles and stood, waiting and pacing, waiting for something to happen. It wasn't long he had to wait and it was much to his surprise when it did. The wraith, he recognised that particular one, him being the one who had kidnapped Murry, appeared just beyond the gooey web of a door, he looked so smug standing there with a smirk on his face and his hands behind his back, Ronon growled and glared. The wraith smiled.

"_Ronon Dex, you have come far for no reason, and now you are at your ending. You've thrown your whole life away for something that is not in any way connected to you, such a waste of your talents, do you not think?_"

Ronon would have launched himself at the web had he not known that it would do no good. The wraith flippantly waved his hand in front of his chest and continued.

"_But no matter, you will not be the first to go, so to speak, your friends, for all their righteousness, will suffer for your sins_"

Ronon roared and the wraith laughed, walking away with a smile that would befit any spider admiring a fly caught in its strings.

Karitz walked away feeling quite hideous and immoral, too much like a monster from a story book, far too surreally evil. Even so close to his goal, he did not wish to do this, at least, not this way. This human had sheltered the creature that Riain had become, the shell that protected the true soul of the wraith. It seemed inappropriate to just kill him off. But he had meddled far too much in his plans, knew too much. Sighing heavily, he continued on, a journey which would ultimately lead to Riain's cell, to begin the process of deletion, but there was a few more stops before then, a few more things to tend to.

Ronon snarled and punched the wall, again and again, until his knuckles were bleeding fiercely. But he felt no pain, the only thing he could feel was a sour bitterness that seared his tongue and an anger that coursed relentless through his head. He was so close, damn it, so close, too close to give up but too distant to succeed, he could feel his head thumping away and he sat down on the floor, staring, with an peculiar grimace plastered to his face.

Doctor Carson Beckett sat with his head in his hands, he was surrounded by his unconscious friends and workmates, captured and with no way out of a crashed Hive, while supposed to be on a rescue mission. It was all wrong. All so very wrong. A cloud of pessimism fogged his brain and he struggled to find any silver lining, when John mumbled something coherent.

"Doc'? Wha-what's happened this time?"

Carson could've jumped for joy. The colonel lifted his head and yawned, opened his eyes and grinned that familiar cheesy, confident smile that said to all present 'no matter what the situation, there is still hope that I can fix this'.

"The Jumper crashed, we're stuck in here, Teyla and Rodney are still unconscious, Ronon went on a kamikaze run and I haven't seen him since, we've no way of contacting home…"

John raised his hand, interrupting him.

"…So…it's business as usual then"

He muttered darkly and grinned, Carson could do nothing but return it, there wasn't much else to do anyways. The Colonel went to stand and yelped, thrust his hand down the back of his trousers and pulled out a combat knife, staring in a most bemused and surprised fashion at the weapon.

"No…no way did they miss this…they…"

John looked up at Carson and together, they laughed hysterically, out loud with amazed grins painted across both their faces. The laughter continued until tears rolled down their cheeks.

"That…that my friend, is priceless"

"_Indeed….It is priceless, as you say, but it will do you no good, seeing as the force field is activated_"

A cold voice sounded from outside the cell, the noise sobered both them up as well as a freezing shower would have done, and the two men looked up to see a tall wraith in a white lab coat pointing at them with a twisted grin, him being flanked by no less than four armed guards. John could've recognised the wraith from his posture, hair or his face but it was really the voice that gave it all away. The wraith nodded, as if knowing that John remembered him, and pointed to him again, singling the colonel out to the guards.

"_That one, quickly now, I'm eager to get on. With no further interruptions_"

It was all over in a flash of light and Carson could do nought but watch as the guards carried the unconscious John Sheppard off into the gloomy corridor, the wraith in front, striding along with purpose.

Murry wept, there was no shame in his cries, or recognition of his tears, but he wailed and he howled, if only for himself. He screamed for all the pain he'd ever felt, ever witnessed, ever perpetrated, he sobbed for he knew he was going to be sacrificed to become a person he could no longer remember. The pain in his head told him that his time was soon. There was no peace in death for him, for it would not truly be death, he was being erased, exterminated, removed like an unwanted parasite. His leg ached and his heart was beating too fast and the colours were all too bright, everything was so pained. His throat was hoarse and raw from screaming, his eyes burned from the tears. Little moths of darkness fluttered across his vision as more of the sedative flushed through his system, but he held onto the world of pain, he wanted to stare straight into Karitz's eyes with his own when he died, with the impossibility of dragging him along to the nothing too. He held onto every thought with panic and desperation, any could be his last as himself, as Moraine, as Murry. Then thoughts of the children and Ronon flooded his mind, and he held them dear within the crazy calm that roamed his mind, unrelenting, strong and weeping, he held dear on to them.

Karitz rubbed together his hands and licked his lips as he stood just outside Riain's cell. John hung limp in the guards arms and they dragged him on, towards the cells where Ronon was being held.

"_This is it, this is what I've been waiting for…Time has been left to slip for far too long_"

He murmured to himself and entered the cell, unexpecting as to what would transpire in that small room which at that moment, was silent, its screaming spent.

A/N Much thankees to Amaruk, Wraithlover and Lymbis for their reviews and for breaking the 100 review threshold 'joins the dance of joy'

Steve the Plushie: 'grins maliciously, holding up a bag of his pin collection, continously and unblinkly staring at Ronon Plushie'


	35. The Way Of It All

Karitz's finger hovered above the button that would allow him access into Riain's mind. The scarred wraith tied to the bed was murmuring and crying, exhausted and almost sedated, the cries barely registered across the absolute concentration that Karitz had enfolded himself in. He happened to look down at the control panel and accidentally made eye contact with Murry. It was an unnerving experience for Karitz. And although only lasted a few seconds, in those moments, it felt as if the creature on the bed was actually…might be…

He daren't even finish the thought, replacing it instead, with the absolution of his method, the mantra drilled into the back of his eyelids by many a sleepless night and it filled him to the brim with a serene happiness of a well done sum. Everything would be alright again. Perhaps had he not been quite so unsettled, he would've paused a moment further to consider his entire strategy, but to avoid any further delay, he pushed the opaque purple button. The result was a few seconds of complete silence, as the machine released a gushing sound and a thousand-and-one images raced across the screen. Horrendous scenes of violence, pictures that irradiated (even watched second hand) terror and a sense of helplessness, flashes of gore and the sounds, oh the noises that then escaped the speakers. Wailing and screeching, loud and penetrating, thrummed through the room as unrelenting as the images of brutality and noise of suffering, witnessed and experienced, drowned out all else. Karitz yelled in fright and slapped the pad with the palm of his hand, pausing the footage on another kind of photograph imprinted on 'Murry's' mind. A human female child, small and blonde, was laughing, looking up and right into the wraith's eyes. Karitz stared at the image. The child's azure eyes were easily read with the simple untainted love of a youngling, the love was clearly flowing from them in cascades of emotion. The wraith sniffed bitterly and began the task, pressing the small, blue, round erasure button with a heavy heart.

Ronon still sat, the undefeated champion dazed by his apparent fall from the graces of the Lady of Luck, his harsh brown eyes glazed, he breathed in hatred and exhaled acrimonious gases that were slowly, but surely, drowning him, with their silent but deadly combination of _maybes_ and _what ifs_. His hand still bled a little, though he could barely feel it, so deep was he in peculiar grief. Sitting in its little pool of blood, his digits twitched and lay still, twitched and lay still. His expression, normally stoic, could now only be described as stony. He didn't even raise an eyebrow as John was dragged in by the wraith guards. As if he wasn't even aware of anything other than the interior of his mind.

John awoke for the third time that day in the same cell as Ronon's body, but not, it seemed, his mind. After calling his name numerous times and shaking him rigorously, the Colonel gave up trying to reach his comrade, abandoning all hope of escape and replacing it with the faint daydream of rescue. An hour passed and just as he got to the resultant explosion of the Hive Ship and the return to Atlantis as heroes, the sound of scraping metal on metal shook him out of it. The wraith scientist appeared beyond the cell. "_Hello again, John Sheppard, how are you and Specialist Ronon Dex holding up?" _There was a fake sarcastic lilt to it all and John just grimaced, unable to form an equally sarcastic reply due to a slowly building migraine that was tearing steadily at his temple. "_Riain is almost ready to receive his first proper feeding now, he will take you first, Ronon_" The wraith smiled curtly and stalked off, leaving John with his mouth slightly agape, but Ronon didn't register any of it. A wraith guard arrived as if on cue and lifted his stunner, John could feel the grin behind the protective face guard. Ronon groaned and looked up just as the two consecutive bolts hit him. Another guard appeared to help drag the man away and John was left with the lingering image of the Satedan's dazed and defeated eyes.

"_Wake up Ronon Dex, I need to introduce someone, he is not quite ready to be awakened yet but will be soon, and he will be hungry. This is Riain_" Karitz whispered into the hulking man's ear, and he opened his hazel eyes to see Murry, unconscious and strapped to a table, blood seeping from five large bolts secured into his skull. He grimaced in disgust.

"You're a monster" He muttered darkly and willed the scarred wraith to rise up and strike the scientist down as he had done to those selected few of his torturers he'd managed to get a hold of. But the scientist wraith just smirked and walked over to the table, running his elongated fingers across Murry's heavily scarred face.

"_Really? We will see Ronon, we will see…_" The wraith murmured, smiling expectantly as he began unclipping Murry's restraints in preparation for the final stages that were crucial to the retention of the restored being. Then, all at once, Ronon roared and pulled forward, with all his strength, on the restraints. The material twisted and stretched and snapped, sending the behemoth of a man flying into the scientist.

"Bastard!" He screamed and rammed his fist into the wraith's face and they both fell to the floor. Ronon pounding the wraith's flesh as hard as he could into the floor. The wraith struggled to get a hold of the powerful man, to get some leverage but suddenly, the weight of the human was lifted as he flew across the room, hitting the opposite wall.

Riain (it could not be doubted now) stood between the fallen Karitz and Ronon, the electrodes still attaching him to the machine. His shoulders were straight, his haughty expression was twisted with anger and his chest was pumping up and down with the exertion whilst the flames of hatred burned in his ice-clear eyes.

"You, lowly human, will not touch. What. Is. Mine!" His voice was spiked with the familiar arrogance of the masses of wraith that Ronon couldn't tell apart but also a hint of indignation and confusion. "Your contempt will be punished" Riain ran at Ronon, who, in spite of all his grief, still ran on a core of pure instinct, pulled out the knife that John had pushed into the back of his trousers in the cell. If there had been time, tears might have sparked at the sides of Ronon's eyes, but there was no time for such sentimentality. It was live or die.

Karitz screeched as Ronon ran forward with the knife hidden in his fist. This was all wrong. Riain wasn't strong enough to fight, it was a miracle he was still standing after the feat of strength in throwing the human off of him. It was a miracle he was standing at all. Riain would die if he didn't do something. Anything. The thoughts were instantaneously as everything clicked, almost wearily into place and realisation dawned. It was indeed, live or die for Riain. And so, Karitz heaved himself from the floor and flew forward at a speed that defied the pitiful amount of feeding time he'd allocated for himself, he never thought he'd regret it, he just needed more time, ironically, to work on his scheme.

Ronon's knife plunged deep into Karitz's chest and as they crashed together, the blade snapped and was forced upwards, tearing deep holes in his heart. Strangely enough, the wraith felt no pain and as he slipped into darkness, all he aware of was someone yelling his name. Riain was yelling his name. Such a pity it was all getting too dark to see him one last time, he was too tired, a deep exhaustion in his bones claimed him and saw his way along to the void, not that he realised it.

"Karitz!" Riain screamed and fell to his knees, pushing for all he was worth in his system but there was nothing there. No life seeping through his veins. Nothing to give. "No, Karitz, stay with me! I'm right here, look at me!" The wraith scientist's head flopped back, his neck going slack and the blood stopped shooting out of him, rather the bright arterial lifeblood was just flowing as his heartbeat ebbed into non-existence. Riain wailed and screeched hauntingly in his own language, ignoring the lake of blood that was now surrounded them both, soaking him. Ignoring the lack of beating or breathing on the other wraith's body. Ignoring the empty space in Karitz's eyes where his soul once resided, intelligence and humour and grace all replaced by death's cold fish glaze.

Ronon stared at the electrodes that connected the wraith to the machine. He stared at them for a long time. Without a word, he grasped the cables and yanked them from the machine. Riain's body stuttered and collapsed backwards onto the table, a screen flickered into life and images raced across it for a few seconds, before it went black Ronon reach over to Riain, wrapped the wraith up in the quilt and picked him up in his arms, ignoring the blood that soaked through into his clothes, and walked out of the lab.

**Meanwhile In Atlantis…**

Charley cried for hours, she was completely inconsolable. She screamed, repeating over and over again of how it was all wrong. It had gone so wrong. She descended into incoherency and the doctors were forced to sedate her as she began to pull her own hair out and head-butt the walls. Even while she slept, she whispered of how everything was lost, so lost.

A/N I am so sorry for the delayness - I hate my new keyboard and was pointedly ignoring it for as long as I could but I felt guiltly leaving my characters with half lives 'cries' I really liked Karitz and I didn't really want him to die, but he was destined to die saving the one he loves. He'd already given up his heart, soul and mind for Riain, so why not his body too I mused long before I began writing this. So poetic, no? Tell me what you think please!! I will try and update as often as I can.

Steve the Plushie: 'tries hard not to look at screen, his face a look of utter disgust at the lose of another wraith at the hands of Ronon Dex'


	36. Stronger Echoes

As Ronon strode from the massacre in the lab, he was met with a strange surrealism that defied his rock-solid patch of reality. Déjà vu pitter-pattered across the backscape of his mind, whilst the foreground dealt with the handful of guards still left in the grounded Hive Ship, one arm cradling Murry to his chest and the other grasping the knife tightly and slashing veins, tearing flesh from bone, he moved silently through the corridors. Leaving a trail of corpses, he made his way to Sheppard's cell.

A/N (When Ronon disconnected the memory machine in the last chapter it created an echo of the being that Karitz was trying to retrieve from the depths of Moraine's mind, this echo is essentially Riain)

_Murry stood in a blackness, there was no floor, no ceiling, nothing but a blackened void that surrounded all. In front of him, seeming to levitate in the blackness, was his reflection, or what it could have been. He was smirking, with long straight white hair and a calm in his eyes and a smoothness in his skin that openly mocked him. He wore the long dark coat of a true wraith warrior and did not have the pendant hanging around his neck, his nails were immaculately sharp and his movements graceful, strong, controlled. It was an image he'd seen so many times in his dreams and nightmares yet could never quite place his finger on. An image that he could never quite remember. _

_Riain._

_Murry shuddered and the reflection moved out of turn, cold laughter rung through the endless absolute shadows above. _

"_**Did you really think you could ever be rid of me? You are me. I am just better. Faster, smarter, more co-ordinated, more beautiful, better in almost every single way. You are nothing but the dregs of an awesome entity. You could have been what you see before you, if you had only paid greater attention. Arrogance was your downfall, expecting to win**" _

_Riain laughed again but the glee never quite reached those eyes, like glass, they reflected nothing but Murry's fleeting disturbed face. Murry, whose hands wrung in confusion and his eyes flittering everywhere, searching desperately for an escape from this stranger. This stranger who was so familiar it pained him. _

"_**There is no escape from me. I am you. I am your mind. I control you now, so long have you drowned me in your nightmares and your pain. No longer. Like a phoenix from the dying embers, I shall rise and it will be astounding. You will not see**"_

_The voice was killing him. Murry struggled to breathe under the weight of the stranger's echoes, which seemed to be growing stronger every second they went unchallenged. A sequence of pictures flickered across the back of his eyelids. _

_A blonde child, female, human. Dead. Lying, broken, across the bough of a dart. A beautiful light-filled city in ruins. A once proud tall strong warrior lay withered on the ground in front of a Gateway, his gun still clutched tightly in his gnarled fist, a white pendant crushed beside him. Two teenage humans, collapsed, shot dead, defending the corpses of small children, cowering behind them. The dead littered the ground, left where they lay. An Athosian woman and a soldier were strung up by their entrails. Blood. Everywhere. It coated everything, blinded the colours._

_Murry reeled from the images, physically gagging at the taste of sour death as it clung to the inside of his mouth like a mucus._

"_**Is it not magnificent? It is the future, their future. There will be no reprieve, I will avenge Karitz's death and retake command at the Queen's side. It will be a resurrection of such that has not been seen for centuries. A hero once more in their eyes. Not broken, not sullied. Not fallen from the graces of the elders**"_

_Panic sent into Murry's system. A pure adrenaline soaked panic that couldn't be abated by mere thought. His fingers spasmed and his eye twitched. This stranger, this enemy, was going to destroy everything. It could not be allowed._

"_**Defiance? Hah, you are all but a faint and fading memory, a bad dream soon to be washed from my mind by the rays of dawn. For years I have had to watch as a clumsy, ugly, oaf of a wraith walked around in my skin. My skin. My scarred skin. No more of this bad impersonation of a true predator. No more!**"_

_Murry could feel the colour and life draining from him, as it melded with the darkness and the dark chewed through him, fading him, reducing him. _

"_**Soon to be no more**" _

_He screamed but the noise produced was more of a static wailing. No. Could not be allowed. Fight. Fight. Fight the reality. Fight the dreams of being whole again. Fight the past, the perfect past. Fight the future, the bloody and victorious future. Fight. Ronon would die, the children, Devi and Turi. Charley. No. Cannot happen. Think, stay alive, keep the thoughts alive. Live. Breathe. He cannot win. The wishes must be abolished. _

"_**Stop resisting, you are only delaying the inevitable**"_

_Riain's voice did not sound as sure as it had done only moments ago. _

_Fight, for life, for breath, for the humans he'd become attached to, for the children, for every torture endured, for the scars. _

_Fight for the right to exist._

Ronon stared down at the wraith, bathed in sweat and twitching furiously in his arms, as if fighting some unseen enemy. He looked around and seeing no more opponents to fight, placed the squirming creature on the ground. Staring at his scared face, Ronon could see fear and pain painted liberally across it. He was fighting something inside that mangled mind of his. Sighing, Ronon flexed his shoulders and knowing that he could not do any more than protect Murry's physical body, picked him up and continued on.

Meanwhile In Atlantis…

Turi tapped his fingers against the arm rest of the chair, only half-listening to the sound of the doctor as he mumbled away about Charley's recent episodes of self-abuse and terror. He had already formed the conclusion quite soundly in his mind that she was connected to Murry in some fashion, a mind link that stretched across the galaxies. It was too strong a connection to be bestowed upon such a youngster, he thought to himself, a burden too potent for a human at all to have to carry at all.

"Why would Murry…" He started but realised he was talking to himself and waving the doctors pleas of sedation and gentle restraints, he began the walk to Charley's bed-side, feeling more of an adult than the men and women who rushed around the city, pretending to be of use. He also felt the cold, empty mantle of cynicism descend on his shoulders and with a tired sigh, did nothing to challenge it.


	37. Somewhere, A Bell May Be Tolling

John Sheppard stood at the sight of Ronon, his eyebrows raised in surprise at the Satedan's appearance, more so at the sight of the unconscious wraith in his arms. Without a word between them, perhaps more of a silent understanding, Ronon stabbed at the consol at the entrance to the cell block and opened the web-like bars. Together they made their way cautiously through the ship, searching methodically for Carson and the others. Upon finding them, greetings and half-hearted jokes were exchanged, everyone watching Ronon out of the corners of their eyes as he monitored Murry's troubled expression with the glazed. spaced look, much like that of a disaster-victim. Together once more, they made their way from the ship, no one really speaking, everyone trying not to stare at the wraith, who writhed and bucked in the ex-runner's arms. No one could quite sum up the courage to break the quiet of the ship (the sort of silence that spoke of death and failure) to ask what transpired in that room and Ronon did not speak of it. The silence reined all the way back to the Jumper and to Atlantis through the Gate, with Ronon pointedly sitting in the back. He clutched tightly at Murry. He grasped him in such a protective way it was as if he could see that the scarred wraith was slowly changing to smoke and in danger of drifting away.

**Meanwhile In Atlantis…**

Devi and Turi, clutching tightly at each others hands, stared at the sedated Charley. Self-inflicted scratches rapped her skin and bruises from the head-butting marred her pretty face. A grieving frightened fury was building in the room, Turi knowing the cause and Devi rocked by the effects. "How could he even think of creating a link like this with her, he must've known this could happen!" Turi spat with venom, finding fuel in Charley's pained cries that still issued from her nightmares. Devi was unnaturally silent, scared for Charley's mind but also for Murry, for if Turi was correct, then the wraith was in deep trouble. " We should never have trusted that irresponsible idiot!" Devi stared at her twin and did not hesitate when she slapped him, the impact of her hand on his face a resounding _thwack_.

"Get a hold of yourself, you don't know what's happening here! And that idiot saved our lives, got shot saving mine, so show some respect. Damn it Turi, you know better than this" She shouted, the anger and fear mixing to create an unstable reaction, tears streaming down her face. "Maybe it was an accident" She whispered through her sobs as her twin hugged her, letting her bury her head into shoulder and weep. "Don't you speak any more ill of him…he might be…" She couldn't finish and sank to the floor.

_Murry curled up in the darkness, feeling weightless and faded but still he hung on, much to the annoyance of Riain, who wished nothing more than to right the wrongs done to him and Karitz, and get on with what was left of his life. And so, his torrent of torments and mocking never ceased and he pummelled the creature with his voice. _

_Murry huddled tighter as the screeching and shouting rose to a crescendo and he clung to what he could remember, what was protected inside his whirlwind of terror, an image of a young blonde female and a tall human warrior with dread-locked hair and a pendant. Their names escaped him now, much like water slipping through his grasp. Huddled inside his consciousness, he held tightly onto the vague and untidy happy memories he had, scrap-cards of wonderful light-filled places and hazy snapshots of people he knew and loved. He knew he loved them, his heart swelled at the very thought of them, even if everything was slowly fading. Details were fuzzed but he could hear the musical whimsical laughter of a child and the deep chuckling of an adult clearly, like ringing bells. It was happy. It was safe. It was home…_

"_You are a disgrace to your species, you rejected piece of hapless hideous meat! Look at what you hold onto. You are an abomination!" _

_The creature that was him but not, screamed to the endless black vault. The echoes hit Murry like a physical force, it threw him and everything went strangely stark, something shattered, perhaps it was his self-control. With a rage that had been building for just over twenty-years against his brethren who had shunned him, the wraith moved forward through the blackness, his eyes narrowing in his scarred face. A wind rushed from the shadows of the infinite, growing in strength and Riain was whipped around by it. _

"_I may be broken and clumsy and hideous, but I'm far from rejected, I am loved" His voice never wavered, never stuttered, it never did in his dreams. "And it's all that I've got" The wraith screeched a battle-cry, straining his vocal-chords with the intensity and the wind began to fly with a destructive force, tearing at Riain, ripping and shredding through him. "I am Moraine. I survived" He roared and the echo exploded into what could only be described as shreds of silver glitter and they floated down in the murk, shining with a light all their own. _

The jumper landed with a soft thud in the bay and the team was greeted by an anxious Doctor Weir. Ronon paid no heed to anyone, his attention consumed by the wraith he held in his arms as Carson and he jogged quickly to the infirmary.

"Is he gonna be okay?" Ronon queried as he placed Murry on one of the empty beds, the first words he'd said since the rescue. Before the doctor could answer, the wraith began to cough and splutter.

"W-where am I?" He murmured, staring blankly at his surroundings, not sparing even a casual throw-away glance at Ronon or Carson "Is h-h-he g-gone? W-who am I? Am I-I m-me? Am I s-still m-me?" he stuttered hoarsely, as if he had been screaming too much, too loudly. The look of confusion and sorrow peppered across his face which Ronon had become so loathingly familiar with, returned, as the wraith curled up tightly on the sheets, his head in his scarred hands and his eyes blank. Ronon approached cautiously, wondering silently to himself if he'd done more bad than good by shutting off that machine so violently.

"Moraine, do you remember who I am?" The Satedan looked Murry straight in the eyes, searching for an answer, waiting for a reply. The wraith stared uncomprehendingly at the man for a full thirty seconds, his eyes narrowing considerably.

"I-I k-know your f-face Human, I-I know y-your f-face…G-give me a moment…" Ronon's spirits dropped slightly at the way the wraith had spoken, ever so softly redolent of the Warrior Wraith, those who thought of humans as prey and nothing else. "I-I know it…I k-k-know you…Rorok?…" The wraith shook his head, correcting himself "No, n-no…" He paused again, closing his feline eyes.

"You have to remember Moraine, me, Charley…" Ronon muttered and was cut off by the wraith's joyful exclamation.

"Ronon D-dex! C-charley?…Oh no…No…" Glee turned quickly to horror as Murry leapt from the infirmary bed and onto the smooth stone floor with a fluid ease that Ronon did not recognise, not that it registered at that particular moment. "T-too l-l-long, b-b-been away f-f-for f-f-far t-too l-l-long…" He ran, clocking his full speed through the corridors, rounding corridors and dodging shocked soldiers and scientists alike. Ronon chased after him, trying to purge his mind of the horror that registered on Murry's face before his flight.

Murry stopped suddenly enough to cause him to skid a little, even bare-footed. He stopped and stared at the door. Ronon caught up within a few seconds and with a hand on the wraith's blue-hued shoulder, he waited for an explanation. He didn't wait long.

"C-Charley's in h-here, s-she's w-waiting f-for m-m-me, b-been w-waiting a-all t-this t-t-t-time…n-n-not g-good…" He didn't elaborate the why or how, and Ronon didn't ask, suddenly, he just didn't want to know. He didn't want to open that door. He didn't want to be here. "P-please, f-f-for m-me…" The wraith murmured, as if reading his mind.

The Satedan could not deny his discomfort.

He opened the door and a number of things happened at once.

Devi turned when she heard the door open, frustration sparking in the palms of her hands, she had requested specifically that they were all left alone, all of them, the children of Sideka Orphanage, gathered restlessly around Charley's bed, to explain the situation their own way. Murry was gone and they had no reason to stay but Charley couldn't leave.

"I thought I told you people to leave us the hell alone…?" She stared at the figure in the doorway. She was about to rush forward when Turi roared and flew mercilessly at the wraith, knocking him to the floor.

"You bastard, you mindless oaf of…You son of a bitch!" He screeched in Murry's frightened face, pelting him with his fists. Ronon saw the reflection of retaliation in the wraiths confused eyes and wrenched the young boy away in time to save the structure of his nose as Murry had unsheathed his claws, poised to tear it off.

"Fuck, Murry, what the fuck are you doing, he's just a kid" Ronon roared, trying hard to keep track of all of the youngsters flailing limbs as he struggled, whether to flee or to attack again, Ronon did not care. Devi stared, mouth agape, her entire reaction system slowed to a standstill in the sight of Murry's unsheathed claws and maddened expression.

"W-what…w-who is h-he? W-why t-t-the f-fuck d-d-did h-he attack m-me?" Murry screamed, his eyes wide with confusion and sparked with the chemical imbalance of fright. In the noise and anger that charged the atmosphere and compelled the children to cower behind Devi in fright, no one noticed Charley clambering silently off of the other side of the bed and toddling across the floor sleepily, clutching a worn stuffed octopus in one hand (a gift donated by a certain concerned nurse) and yawning widely, she approached the wraith.

"Hawo Murry. Hug?" She murmured and Ronon swept towards her, pushing Turi from him, aiming to lift her away from harms way. Murry did not move, instead he stared at the girl, the wounds that marred her skin. He was silent, his face suddenly calm, holding out his hand to Ronon, hinting for him to stop.

"Y-young l-l-little one…D-do you know w-who I am?…what I-I a-am?" He kneeled and spoke directly to her. For the briefest of moments, Ronon could see what the children saw in him, a faint timeless quality that hung in his eyes and an aura of unflinching patience and undeviating honesty. Charley yawned again and answered.

"You is my hero. You is Murry." She smiled in the innocence that hung on her shoulders like a grand mantle, walked unsteadily for a few steps and collapsed forward, saved from the floor by only Murry's reactions as he pulled her into a fierce but protective embrace.

He was crying.

Mucho thanks to Amaruk and Frankie-the-Elf for their much appreciated reviews and to everyone else who has been patient enough to wait for me. I know the waits between chapters are far too long, it's just I'm battling with a rather irritating case of Writer's Block and I know am finished this chapter at ten to four in the morning...I keep strange hours


	38. Gentle Sea

-1The next morning, after a night of argument and exhausting talks between Murry and the teenagers, with the children sleeping around them and Charley clasped steadily in the alien's arms, they awoke together in a muddled pile.

Ronon leaned over them with an inquisitive eye and a lop-sided smile donned his usually stolid face, awaking them from their begrudged slumber.

"You guys finished? 'Cause if you are, then there's breakfast in the canteen" He said gruffly and walked away, his own stomach rumbling ominously.

Conner clambered from the floor, tip-toeing over the others and showing an unusually cheery mood, waved them an enthusiastic goodbye as he slipped out the door, an uncharacteristic smirk on his face. He followed and caught up with Ronon.

Jenny and Charlotte, as they often did, awoke simultaneously, helping each other up and tidying the others pink skirt. They each sweetly smiled at Murry and the two teenagers and together, skipped out into the corridor towards the Satedan, their dainty hands clasping neatly at the hems of the skirts.

Dominic and Serak dragged themselves from the floor, bleary-eyed and still half-asleep staggered out of the room in search of the promised meal. They reached the doorway and a game of tag erupted and in a blink of an eye, they transformed from zombies to maniacs, running and jumping in an effort to escape the other. Jake followed but Allie signalled him not to wait up and he sat up from the floor. A guarded look bordered his face as he looked to the trio of semi-adults.

"What was all that fightin' 'bout last night?" he asked innocently enough and Turi sighed angrily and without another word, flew from the room in a whirlwind of tired aggression, still aimed at the wraith. Devi half-hurried after her brother but hung at the doorway and looked desperately to Murry as if for his permission and so, when he nodded, she dashed full-pelt from the room to try and talk some sense to her twin brother. Murry focused his attention back to Allie and smiled, saying quietly enough.

"D-don't you b-be w-worrying y-yourself about t-that, f-f-food f-first!" And with that, he clutched Charley on his hip and with the other hand, took Allie's and together, they walked from the room to find the canteen.

A few minutes and a few wrong turns later, the three of them found themselves standing on a balcony, that same balcony as Murry and Teyla had conversed upon. So along ago, the wraith mused silently, it seemed so long ago, years, decades, aeons. Allie tugged at the wraiths scarred hand and Murry shook the daydream from himself and they continued on in search of the canteen.

Throughout the search, Allie had a certain humour in his face, for he knew where the cafeteria was. He had always known, and felt for himself a sense of secrecy, tinged with acute smugness that he knew something that the adult wraith did not, but mostly just happiness that he was able to prolong just them three together and no one else. Murry too had a humour in his expression, fully aware that the boy knew where they were supposed to be going and was mis-directing them all but the wraith was quite satisfied in being led. It was, all in all, quite a happy arrangement.

Chattering quietly and laughing, the three of them arrived, finally, at the canteen, with its hustling and bustling crowd.

Murry stopped at the door.

His sight blurred for a moment, the individual people removed from the scene and replaced with spectres of ethereal energy, life-force. A room filled to the brim with food.

But, just as quick as it had appeared, the apparitions went, and Murry, who barely registered the change, was smiling once more, with Charley squirming in his arms. Allie ran forward to join Jake with a victorious grin. Murry relinquished his grip on Charley and forward she toddled until reaching Ronon, who, at her arrival, looked upwards to the doorway and smiled at the wraith. He returned the gesture and with a sweeping one and bounded forward towards the man with a joyous grin, taking his place at the table amongst his friends, trying to ignore the steely silence from Turi and the building worry and annoyance from Devi.

**Well, I suppose I have much to apologise for.**

**Firstly, the increasing gaps between chapters, I'm really sorry that you're all having to wait. I will try harder. I promise. And secondly, for the poor length of this chapter, not even hitting the 1000 word mark. Disgraceful. I just don't seem to have time anymore. Yet I'm not doing anything, it's a perplexing situation indeed.**

**But I have also much to be thankful for, especially for the touching reviews from the last chapter.**

**I thank Wraith Addict, cimmer, Wraithlover, Amaruk, Lujana and Gingercake, for their amazing support.**


	39. This Is The Tune The Heartless Dance To

The days tickered by and Murry was sitting alone in his bedroom, alone being an unwelcome but necessary condition.

He was becoming increasingly worried.

There was something wrong with Turi, the wraith could taste it on the air and the flavour was not unknown to him. He remembered it from a long time ago, wraith who had steeped themselves too deep in their own insect. They called the psychosis "Yūki's Malady". Murry never discovered why, not sure he wanted to, after hearing the stories of the sufferers. Such an end was not appropriate of a predator.

And now, Turi had the beginnings of it clinging to his back.

All because he was furious with him and alone in his fury, as Devi, though miserable, would not join him. Though his hatred was wearing her down and now, she was becoming increasingly strange to him.

He supposed, in some ways, he was still very much a wraith and some things of humans would remain mysterious for all time. Charley was safe now. Everyone was safe and together.

It must have began with the link.

It had not been his intention, it was forged more out of a desperation than rationality. A need, his need, to have something to hold onto. He was not a fool, ugly and flat-footed perhaps, but not a fool. Neither was he stupid. He should have had better control over his own emotions, he was the adult.

But, there was nothing for it now, no going back, she would know no difference, growing up with him. It would just be a condition, a characteristic of her identity. Nothing more than that.

He tore his mind away from musing, it would do none any good. Instead he focused on the task at hand. The retribution wrought against Karitz would not go unnoticed and the Queen would not allow this to go unpunished, could not afford to. With tension between Hives so high, allowing his execution to go without incident would be perceived as a sign of weakness and might provoke an attack. Such an attack would work in their benefit, Murry would rather an enemy Hive removed the threat against Atlantis than risk it's discovery and have the humans defend it themselves.

Many things had returned to him now the memories had flooded back, most of which he would not discuss even with Ronon. The Satedan, Murry estimated, wouldn't understand the pride in his voice as he spoke of them. They were mostly small things, being able to cast his mind back to memories of his Other-Self and still feel the glory and joy of Riain's lifetime, being able to sleep for more than one night without being plagued by nightmares and, the one he cherished most of all, he remembered the mechanics of his abilities. He remembered how to fight, how to win, how to lose and how to go unnoticed. He remembered how to be a wraith and was proud for it. It was something he would never disclose, especially not to Ronon, he would not understand at all.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, feeling out for the link, probing with his mind until he felt it take hold. He went undetected, crawling like a shadow through the thousands of wraith minds connected to the same vein. The Queen had more than once remarked that he had a knack for sneaking throughout the link when he was aboard the Hive, and now that very talent was helping him plot it's destruction. The irony was not lost on him that she had honed in on and helped him develop the natural ability.

Reaching the enemy Hive's Queen, he was steeped in a mountain of luck. She was very young and inexperienced as well as distracted and angry, easily swayed to violence. He whispered of treachery about her ears and she did not question it, he hinted at foul plans and of a rogue Queen and she did not even question. The seeds of mistrust were already laid about her mind, he was only helping them grow.

And slowly, ever so carefully, he receded, leaving her to plot and plan against his Queen.

He felt dirty, tainted, as he returned to reality. He stared at his taloned hands, the scars that patterned them. The enormity of what he had just did, hit him, like the proverbial ton of bricks that the humans often remarked over. He was left breathless, the blood of thousands of his own kind, his brothers, was soon to drown him.

And yet he felt nothing.

He realised then that having his memories back had been like the landing of a stone in a calm pool. The energy used to cast the rock transferred to ripples on the surface. Something was happening in him, something was changing inside him.

Small events began to string themselves together. He suddenly recalled the moment when he stood at the cafeteria door and saw nought but food. He was rocked by his own apathy. How had this emptiness managed to creep upon him? Why had he let it? All of a sudden, he did not feel so different, he could feel despair smothering him. He was still failing and still as wrecked as he always had been and it was made so much worse by the fact that now he could remember how it was not so. He broke down and crawled beneath the bed, out of the sunshine, away from the light of day.

Turi paced at the windows. Six steps forward to the far wall and six steps back to the bed. Over and over again, never stopping, never deviating from the path. His anger had mellowed to frustration and then to uncaring, now that he was avoiding the wraith. Not being around him somehow made it all seem a little distant. But in his heart, Turi knew it wasn't.

Devi sat on the bed with Charley on her lap, she was squirming and eager to be free to frolic, to find her wraith and have fun. Almost a week to the day, as soon as the wraith was out of sight, Turi forbid Charley to be alone with Murry. He told it to Devi and was completely unmoved by her outrage. He was as calm as she'd seen him in the whole of the week and now, he just seemed heartless.

She did not like the changes in her twin. She was not content to watch him lose himself. And so, letting Charley toddle off in the care of Charlotte, she grabbed him and slapped him. She shook him like a doll and he didn't even have the good grace to react. He just stood there and accepted it. Devi stared into his eyes and saw something in them that she could not place, but disturbed her deeply. It was not so much what was there, but what was not. Tears of grief welled in her eyes. "He needs you Turi, please don't let him down now, not now, not now. You said he'd need us in the days ahead, you remember how you said that? Well these days are well ahead and you ain't there holding his hand, that's for sure" She choked down a sob and walked away, leaving Turi with a look of unadulterated surprise and sorrow on his face.

Once out of the door, Devi ran, she did not care where, she just wanted to go. To be somewhere else.

To be someone else.

She only stopped when she ran out of corridor, one of the dead ends with only a ladder to the floor beneath. Sitting on the tiles, she allowed herself to breathe. She sat for half an hour, just sitting and breathing when she heard the sound of footsteps and before she could scramble down the ladder, Conner was at the doorway.

She stared at him as if she'd never seen him before. His tousled dark brown hair, sapphire eyes encompassed by dark circles and pale face were reminiscent of someone much older than himself. He did not look half as fragile as he did whilst he was sleeping. Now he just seemed, tired, and a little volatile. She almost jumped when he spoke.

"…It's my birthday" he said, in a curiously flat voice "It's my birthday and I feel selfish for even mentioning it. It doesn't matter that I'm thirteen now and wasn't yesterday. I'm I just...it's just…" he tried to finish the sentence but found he couldn't. He wasn't even sure why it bothered him.

Devi stood and forced a smile, a little unnerved that it came so easily. He stared straight through it and she dropped it, feeling awkward as she always did when it came to emotions. When it came to emotions and Conner, she always felt worse. He just looked so down-trodden and exhausted. She grimaced and he dittoed that gesture. Conner walked towards her but stopped half the distance, Devi looked on confused, not recognising the same expression that had been on her own face only moments before.

He stared at her as if he'd never seen her before. Her thick black hair that curled around her shoulders, her fire-lit brown eyes and lightly tanned skin made her seem wild, but it was her iron strength and determination that made her untouchable. He'd never seen her in any other state and believed her as strong as any warrior, until here on Atlantis. Yet, despite the moments of fragility, she was still as solid and strong as she'd always been. He wanted to keep her that way, protect her state of mind, he couldn't explain it even to himself.

She coughed and he jumped, they both laughed nervously and Devi sat back on the floor, joined by Conner, who rested his head on her shoulder. They stayed that way for the longest time.

Turi stared at his reflection in the window. His pale blue eyes were reminiscent of ice, even he could see it, a coldness about his face. It was so obvious. He turned the idea of his own insanity over and over until it became as bitter as Jitter Berries. He thumbed his temple and threw a million and one reasons not to, but in the end, he supposed, only one person he knew was going to be any help in such a situation.

He thumped Moraine's door like the devil himself was caught on his back. Perhaps that analogy was not so appropriate, he smiled to himself later.

The wraith didn't answer and Turi was puzzled, some might say he was curious, incredibly curious.

He opened the door himself only to find the room empty. The rug on the floor was undisturbed. No benevolent wraith stood at the window, wondering in awe of it all, or snoozing lazily with all the covers pulled to the floor. He was about to leave when he heard it, a trapped breath released in fear and he instantly knew where Murry was and was vaguely irritated by it. He really didn't want to play nursemaid and even as he thought it, he felt ungrateful. He felt more human than he had a long while and knew that all in the world, all he wanted to do was see the scarred wraith smile.

"Murry, I know you are under the bed…" his voice sounded on the verge of breaking and the wraith crawled out with a fluidity that Turi did not recognise and in his eyes, a fear and pain that hurt his heart. But for the pain, he was glad, he was relieved immensely that he still had a heart to feel with.

Once the wraith had cleared the bed, he just sat on the floor, knees beneath his chin and stared up at Turi with forlorn eyes. Turi did not speak again, only joined Murry on the floor in mutual despondency. "…There's something wrong with me Murry…"

"I-I k-know"

It was the only reply the wraith could give without crying.

**Well I was suitably disgusted with myself that I had left my characters all alone for so long that I wrote this chapter (which, I am egotistically satisfied to note, broke the 2000 word marker xD) and felt all the better for it. I should really try harder. The words of comfort helped with the more touching parts of this chapter too, so you guys all helped write both the happy and depressing bits, give yourselves a huge pat on the back **

**Thanks muchly to :- **

**-Gingercake (I repeatedly sung those words to myself whilst trying to describe the Hive situation and sure enough, I got it in the end)**

**-Lujana (I spent ten minutes before beginning this chapter thinking intensely about how much I loved giving these characters their story, your advise helped me begin)**

**-Amaruk**

**-cimmer**

**-: For their continued support **


	40. Violence In Thy Blood

-1Murry awoke at dawn from his slumber feeling refreshed. It was a novel feeling and he lay as long as possible, treasuring its texture. He knew Turi would not awaken until much later in the morning so, he grabbed some clothes and went for a stroll, an idea already forming in his mind of how to spend some time…

Ronon growled and ran again, using a faux swipe to the man's shoulder with the weapon to conceal his true intent and quick as lightning, he spun and under-cut at the knee. The man howled and collapsed on the mat, clutching his leg, but it was more shock than pain and after a few seconds, he stood and limped away with a defeated grin. The Satedan waved after him and stood at the stairs, waiting for his next opponent to make his presence known.

The slow slapping of bare feet on the smooth floor announced him and Ronon took up his stance, eyeing up his adversary with a humorous grin.

Murry returned the gesture with a glint in his eye. He may not be telling Ronon the finer points of his new found capabilities but that didn't mean he couldn't show off a little. Plus, he'd been aching to discover if he could fight just as good as Riain did all those years ago.

Picking up the stick left behind, he rolled his shoulders and twirled it between his taloned fingers, finding a dexterity and balance that had been lost for so long a time.

The Satedan stunned expression was enough to justify the entire exercise for Murry and laughing he took up his own stance. They circled on the mat.

About to attack, he was abruptly all too aware of how easy it would be for Ronon to die. It rocked him, this realisation had never occurred to him before. Strange as it was, he'd never really thought of Ronon as "human", not like that, not so…expendable. Something must have showed on his face, because Ronon dropped the fighting stance and just stood, staring at the wraith. "You alright?" he asked and Murry just nodded, licking his lips and trying desperately to distance himself from the thought of how easily it could happen. Humans were so fragile, a single bullet, a chance disease, and he could lose him.

"Y-y-you w-wouldn't b-be d-dying on m-me anytime s-soon, w-would you? Y-you w-wouldn't d-do t-that t-to m-me" his voice sounded odd, tinny and far away. Ronon just rolled his eyes and grinned and suddenly, Murry fell a whole lot better. The man's confidence was just as infectious as his grin.

"Nah, I don't think so, you won't be getting rid of me that easy!" he shouted across the mat "so, you ready for this or what, I'm not going easy on you just because you're lanky!" Ronon grinned again and adopted his stance, Murry did the same.

"J-just you w-watch m-me" the wraith whispered to himself and ran.

Ronon was expecting the speed, he knew that the wraith would have that against him, but he was not expecting the fire. The stick blurred at the speed and he relied mainly on instinct to deflect them, Murry jumped and weaved through his returned strikes. He fought with an expression of brutal passion Ronon had seldom seen on his face and never aimed at him.

The Satedan picked up the pace but beads of sweat traced his brow at the constant vicious momentum and soon was making little mistakes, but at that speed, cost him more than one blow to the face.

Murry lost his grip on reality sometime during the fight. His mind just switched off and he wasn't showing off to Ronon anymore or proving that he could beat a nightmare figure.

He was just fighting for the sake of aggression and he knew it had been too long. A cruel smirk adorned his face and he hit harder and flew faster across the ground, never had he felt so alive.

Ronon could tell that Murry wasn't quite with it anymore and it worried him but there was little time to worry in-between deflection and attack. The wraith was going at it as if there was no tomorrow, as if this was the real thing. And so, Ronon pushed the thought of his friend from his mind, soon he was just fighting a wraith. Just any other wraith and soon, he matched the pace, soon he matched Murry blow for blow but it wasn't enough. He decided to use another tactic, not one he would usually resort to.

Murry could feel his opponent tiring, the blows were coming slower and so, he grew confident of his victory. He was winning, for once in this new life, he was winning. He slowed ever so slightly, no need to rush, his mind whispered, no need to rush this triumph.

It was his undoing. Ronon replayed the move that won him the last match but this time faster and with more power, he feigned for the knees and hit at the throat. He watched as the wraith bounced across the floor, landing in a tangle of limbs and writhing, unable to get a breath.

Suddenly, it was Murry lying there, clutching his throat and coughing, the stick forgotten at his side and Ronon felt a combination of guilt and confusion. Just what was happening to his friend now?

Indignant and in pain, Murry spluttered a curse in wraith. His mind refused to accept it. He couldn't just lose, not now, not with his strength returned and especially not to some human. He would not allow it.

Ronon strode closer, quick but careful, the wild look on Murry's face told him plainly that whatever this was, it wasn't over. "Murry, buddy, you alright?" he asked as he stood at the wraith's side. He didn't get an answer.

Murry screeched and kicked viciously at him. Red mist clouded his eyes as he launched himself at the human, knocking him to the ground. Ronon was expecting it though and snatched at the wraith's thin wrists, twisted him and pinned him to the floor by the elbow. "Wake up! Murry, this is Ronon and if you don't get yourself together, I will break your arm!" He roared, knowing full well that he meant it, it had been too close a call there, the wraith's talons had been inches from his eyes.

Murry went limp and the Satedan let up on the pressure but didn't let go, not until he knew for sure that the wraith had returned to reality. "What was this for?" He dangled the white half-moon at the wraith's face.

Murry stared at it and at the human. No, not just any human, no, Ronon Dex. He had just attacked Ronon. He felt sick. "Y-you s-s-saved m-my l-life t-that n-n-night, t-this is h-how I r-r-repay you…I-I'm s-so s-s-sorry…" the wraith clutched pitifully at his over-sized t-shirt, twisting it in his grip "I j-just w-wanted t-to w-w-win s-so b-badly, I-I d-dunno w-what h-happened…" Ronon looked down at the wraith, surprised. He'd seen him feed (and Ronon shuddered at the thought) but never fight, never like that.

"You almost did. Where did that come from? You can barely keep your balance enough to throw a punch…" Murry just smiled in response, momentarily forgetting his lack of control and a light glowed in his eyes.  
"W-wasn't I j-just a-amazing…" He whispered to himself and Ronon sighed, well aware an answer wasn't forth-coming let alone an explanation, so he left it, he'd ask some other time. The Satedan stood and helped the wraith to his feet. A voice told him that he should probably report this, but so far, it was only once, and as long as he was there to keep an eye on him, it would be okay…

"Ronon!" A woman's voice called out from behind him. It was Teyla. He cringed and turned slowly, keeping himself between her and the wraith. She'd obviously seen all of the show, or at least enough of it that she was out-raged.

"What is it Teyla?" He asked, keeping his face as neutral as possible.

"I cannot believe you put yourself at risk like this!" She climbed down the stairs, eyeing the wraith warily "How can you allow him to go on like this! He obviously needs help Ronon, beyond that which you can give"

"How would you know what he needs?!" Ronon growled from deep in his throat and Teyla stared at him, amazed at his blindness in the face of obvious danger.  
"Ronon, look at him. Please, think about it, what do you see?" She changed her tack in hope of getting through to him.

Ronon turned to the wraith and really looked at him. He saw his best friend who wouldn't even blink an eye in taking a bullet for him, who happened to need a little extra attention sometimes, who happened to have some of the worst luck going. He also saw an abused wraith, unpredictable and a brutal predator, with an unstable mind.

"R-Ronon d-d-don't l-l-look at m-m-me l-l-like t-t-that!" Murry shouted and threw Teyla a desperate and pleading look, "p-please d-don't…I-I-I'm n-n-not l-like t-them!" Ronon shook his dread-locked head.

"I know you ain't buddy, I know" He smiled and ruffled the wraith's hair jokingly but Murry could see the seeds of caution in his eyes.

"R-R-Ronon…" the wraith began, not looking at either of them but at something far off in space, "I-I-I…k-know I-I'm m-more t-trouble t-t-than I-I'm w-worth…" but the Satedan cut him off and would hear no more, annoyance written as plain as day across his face. He looked Murry in the eyes and spoke seriously.

"You got carried away. So does everyone. Just don't let it happen again, alright?" Murry nodded vigorously and made a promise silently to himself.

If he couldn't keep himself under control, if he couldn't find healing in Atlantis, he would leave. He refused to endanger anyone else.

Teyla shook her head, she couldn't allow this to go on behind the team's back. It was definitely time to tell Elizabeth and the others, before the situation got seriously out of hand.

**Well. That wasn't what I was expecting to write, but don't worry, already working on the next chapter and there will be some "romance" in the air winkwink Lolsybottoms as well as some other stuffings xD**

**So thanks to Shanthaia, wraithlover, cimmer, Gingercake, Lujana and Amaruk for their awesome reviews **


	41. Help From One Hand, Hurt From The Other

Turi sat in his room, waiting. He paced and wrung his hands, his patience wearing thin for nothing. He only wanted to go find Murry and looking out from his window at the sun, he decided it was a few hours after dawn. The wraith would definitely be awake by this time, surely. He was ready to walk out from the door when it opened and Murry flew in, looking fretful. "What is going on Murry?" He asked, trying to keep the irritation out of his voice.

Murry forced himself to relax and taking a deep breath, he looked again at the boy, smiling, looking as confident and as sure of himself as any wraith would be.

Karitz would have been proud. Murry was sure of it.

"C-come on, I-I'm g-going t-to g-get s-some h-help. Y-you c-c-can c-come t-t-too, if y-you'd l-like…" Turi swallowed and nodded his head, not trusting himself to speak. "A-alrighty t-then" And the wraith turned heel, not checking to see if Turi was following, only knowing that he was.

They ended up at the far end of Atlantis, standing awkwardly outside a door which was the duplicate of any other of the bedroom doors. Murry smiled again to himself, and knocked, gleeful, knowing salvation could lay just beyond the walls…  
"Moraine! What are you doing here?" The wraith practically jumped out of his skin and, in a gesture that might have been a graceful turn once upon a time, was replaced by a flailing spin as his bare feet caught on the upturn of his trousers and he tripped over himself. Teyla stared sympathetically at Murry as he sat on the floor, wearing his goofy smile and laughing whole-heartedly.

Even after the display in the Training Room, he still had his moments of utter un-wraithlike behaviour, and those calm spots made him seem so harmless. But she was no fool and knew that in a blink of an eye, his transformation was terrifying to say the least. And that would be her justification to herself late in the night.And to Ronon. Her heart skipped at the thought of how this would affect their friendship. She sighed and looked away.

Lifting himself from the floor, Murry knew at once that Teyla deeply mistrusted him. He supposed she was quite entitled to it and tried to feel neither hurt nor disappointed that she did so. She was human. He was wraith. Fear would always be in the equation between them.

He straightened himself and asked, his tone almost formal, "M-ms I-I-Immagen, I-I w-was w-wondering if y-you m-might b-be w-willing t-to h-h-help m-me…"

Devi awoke still at the ladders, Conner's head leaning against her shoulder and for a moment, everything was perfectly fine. She was content to sit and listen to the boy's steady breath against her arm and to the morning sounds of Atlantis. She sat for what felt like a happy eternity until Conner's eyelids fluttered open and he yawned, stretching far into the air with his nimble fingers. He looked up at her sleepily, smiling and for a moment, looked younger than his years. But reality sifted across his face and into his eyes like a shadow-worn and as it returned, he coughed and sat up, no longer smiling.

"I should be getting back…" Conner began to stand but Devi pulled him back roughly and planted an uncertain kiss on his cheek. He looked shocked and unconsciously brushed the moistness upon his skin with his fingertip. He looked puzzled and his eyebrows knitted as he stared at something that wasn't there.  
"You should be getting back" Devi said humorously, a grin on her lips, as she turned and slid down the ladder and out of sight. Conner looked at the opening in the floor and wandered back through the doorway, realising that he'd forgotten where he was supposed to be going…

Ronon sat, just a little more than bored, on baby-sitting duty, watching over and tailing Charley as she scampered through the base.

Eventually, she'd settled in Murry's room, seemingly content in upending the drawers of the wraith's (over-sized) clothes, mostly murky-coloured shorts and t-shirts from the Extras Box and generally making a mess. She threw the clothing over the room, diving in and digging through them, then climbing into the drawers. The last drawer she upended was full of brightly coloured garments, not at all like others, Ronon picked at the pile and laughed. A pair of tangerine under-shorts with purple polka-dots were definitely worth some ribbing.

Then, most unexpectedly, a book dropped from the drawer and landed on the pile, small enough to fit on the palm of Ronon's hand and made of weather-beaten leather. The Satedan leaned forward and picking it up, he idly flicked through the first few pages and scrawled across them, written in shaky ink, were wraith characters, he was incapable of reading it, but at two-thirds through, a single line here and there was writ in Common Tongue. One of the last jumped out at him

"_The glories and excesses of youth filtered through hard won maturity…_"

It said, neatly scribed in ink and unlike any of the other unsteady sentences. Since it was obviously Murry's diary of sorts, he assumed it was the wraith's words but they seemed foreign. Slipping the book into his back pocket, he looked round to his ward. "Hey, kid, wanna go for a walk?"

Charley looked up at the Giant-Man and nodded, her blonde curls bouncing. She tottered forward a few steps and held up her hand for Ronon to walk with her. He looked down at her dainty fingers and his face crinkled into a smile as he bent down and picked the child up, placing her carefully on his shoulders where she could giggle and jabber to her heart's content.

Teyla bit her lip and said nothing. She closed her mind to the sounds of beating footsteps and raised voices along the corridor behind her, closed her heart at the clashing expressions across Murry's face. There was no choice but to tell Elizabeth what had happened in the Training Room, and in the times before that, and she would have to act according.

Half fearful and half defiant, the wraith turned to face the incoming platoon, clutching his soul in his chest, Murry profoundly knew that before him laid a frank and resonating decision. Kill the soldiers and escape or, accept this new turn in his fate. The chances of both hung in front of him for what seemed like an eternity, but was only a fraction of a second.

Turi stared, horrified, as the armed soldiers took position with their guns raised, shouting orders at the wraith that displayed their desire for hostility. They were expecting Murry to attack, wishing it, Turi could see it in the blood-lust upon their faces. The trouble was, the boy wasn't sure what the wraith was going to choose.

"Murry…" The boy whispered "…Do not move. They can't hurt you if you do not give them a reason to" Turi sincerely hoped that the wraith would take his advice, for everyone's sake, but moved away, to give Murry the room to make his decision alone. It seemed important for it to be his decision.

Murry smirked and rolled his shoulders just as Ronon turned the corner, Charley still aloft on his shoulders.

Ooft. All done, Thanks a bunchly to wraithlover, Lujana, Shanthaia, Gingercake, cimmer and Lymbis (who reviewed all of the previous chapters ) You peoples are way too kind to me indeed!


	42. Chop Suey

Though no one on that corridor was aware of it, the whole world continued to turn upon its axis, oblivious to the drama that currently held the entire base's attention. Would he fight or fly? Teyla Immagen did not know but what she did was that if the violence began, the teenager beside her would not hesitate to throw himself upon it all to save his friend. She took Turi by the arm and together, they eased away, stopping to take Charley from the scene, for they all knew, that no matter how this ended, it would not be pretty. 

A nanosecond was it all it took for the wraith to decide, yet as Ronon watched, time slowed to a halt. He was well aware that now there was no doubt, the wraith would either kill everyone or die, neither of those outcomes being high on his list of priorities, Ronon unlatched his gun and without warning, fired. 

The shot did not hit its target (fair to say it was incredibly close) but rather provided the wraith with a starter shot as he careered off at considerable speed into the wall but at the last possible second, twisted and bounced back on course towards the fully-fledged army personal, the majority of whom really wanted to see him dead. Then Ronon saw something, or rather someone, he did not expect even as he repositioned to shoot. 

Lieutenant John Sheppard, at the prow of the positioning of soldiers, hefted his gun upwards and pulled the trigger, not that he did not regret the decision, there was just simply none to make. The bullets rang out into the corridor, most ricocheting into the walls but at least three found their mark and Murry was launched off his feet and back across the floor, laying to rest at the curvature of the corner. No one spoke and each gun was aimed at the twitching body. 

Murry could feel where the bullets had ploughed into his chest and the exit wounds through his back, but the bloody ache fuelled the rage and he launched himself again at the platoon of guns, knowing that he may well never get up again from the concrete floor if he fell. And he felt more alive for it. 

With a screeching war-cry reminiscent of his younger days, he was mere metres from his first intended target, claws outstretched when a pain blossomed in his mind, a crying like glass scraped across the inside of his skull, he became unaware of reality and all that mattered was to stop the crying, that pain. He tumbled to the ground and writhed, clawing mindlessly at his head, he felt nothing as Ronon dragged him across the floor with ease and pinned him there. 

"Murry?" Ronon wished, no, pleaded to whoever was watching, whoever on some other plane of existence was listening, for the release of his friend from this torment, this perpetual fight within himself between being true to his species and true to himself. And suddenly the wraith lay still beneath his strength, his tearful eyes staring up at Ronon, exhausted. Sheppard looked down at the wraith, sighing. 

"Let it go Ronon, he's done. How about he gets some peace?" the man whispered softly, careful, as he moved the rifle closer. Murry sat up tentatively with a careful nod from the Satedan, glad to hear the click as the man switched his weapon from kill to stun. He still eyed wearily the barrels of Sheppard's gun.

"I-I w-w-will n-never b-b-be j-just _d-done _w-w-with l-life" the wraith stuttered, spitting each word ought desperately in hope of being understood, at least by Ronon. "…Though I-I-I w-would s-settle f-f-for a l-life l-less f-frightening, f-for a-all involved" Murry stared at his Little One, Charley, barely restrained by Teyla's hand. She was crying and struggling for all she was worth, not knowing that she'd just saved most likely Sheppard and at least five others through throwing her fear and pain down the connection between them.

The Athosian woman refused to yield and place the youngster in anymore danger, the wraith noted, from neither the guns nor the wraith. He sat up and spat the blood from his sharp-toothed mouth, stood, staring at the woman, and frowned, the blood stains were growing on his shirt, slowing now but the pain came not from his open wounds, but from his head, how it pounded. 

He knew it would all go away if he could just stop his Little One crying in such fear. But the woman shook her head. "D-d-damn h-human" he breathed under his breath and Teyla gasped as she was assaulted by the sensation of drowning, as dark fluid filled her lungs and she could not manage one breath, she clawed at the darkness that surrounded her but there was no light to highlight the surface, it was hopeless, no escape. 

Ronon roared and punched at the wraith, instantly connected the smug look and Teyla's delusion. The blow landed to the side of the head that would've killed a man. Murry folded, dimly aware that he wasn't quite steeped in the self-control he thought he'd granted himself. 

"You could have gotten us all killed!" John was a little more than incandescent with rage. "This is just…Ronon, fuck, you're suspended, this is…unbelievable! What the hell was going through your head?! I can't…" The Lieutenant left the room in a hurry, leaving Ronon to the mercy of Elizabeth and the others, unable to think of all the possible (and disastrous) outcomes. How close did they all come to destruction? Ronon stared stony-faced at the opposite wall, just left of Elizabeth's shoulder, as she spoke. 

"Ronon, I can't stress enough, if the wraith…" The Satedan looked up at that, "his name is Murry" The first thing he'd spoken aloud since being called to the conference room for a disciplinary hearing, but it being too raw in everyone's mind, they were unable to think objectively. So, instead of a hearing, it became an inquisition against the Satedan, and he was becoming increasingly irritated with, what he imagined, was an intense over-reaction. 

The soldiers would've killed him before he managed to get any closer and failing that, the shot would have come from his gun.

Someone might have mentioned he was in denial. 

Whilst Ronon stood as various people yelled in his general direction, Murry curled in a holding cell, having been dragged, kicking and screaming when he awoke, to the cage, obviously reliving some awful experience as he chattered away in wraith. In the end Ronon himself had to stun him again, otherwise they'd have never got him in the damn thing.

Murry rocked, wishing he could get a hold of himself but couldn't. He couldn't remember what it felt like anymore, that fleeing sense of holding it together. Every time he looked up, he was so sure the walls were crawling inwards to crush the life from him. The pain in his mind was confusing his sense of time. Did he really ever escape? He could still feel Them watching. They were always watching with their cameras. He looked up quickly, hearing something, seeing something flitting in the shadows as they grew to the bars, there was only shadows beyond the bars. 

"T-there's n-nothing t-there…n-nothing t-t-there…n-n-nothing t-t-there" he whispered to himself but was unable to believe in those familiar words, he returned to a mantra that lay buried deep in his mind, for every time he hallucinated, every time he lost his mind. 

He could barely breathe for the pain as it grew, it was suffocating him. He screamed as it became too much. He was deluded to have thought to escaped. Deluded to even have hoped for a respite. Everything was just a temporary measure. Nothing could hold its own against this hurricane. No one could last its pressure.

Murry truly lost it then, much to the confusion of the guards, who didn't know who else to call on but Ronon Dex who'd brought the creature to Atlantis.

A/N Well, it was inevitable I suppose, the higher the high, the more painful the crash. But lets hear a sympathetic sigh for the return of crazy!Murry, I think he might need a little more than a hug after this extended episode of delusion.  
Much thanks to Shanthaia, Gingercake, cimmer, lymbis and Wraith Addict for their awesome reviews on chapter 41, as well as to anyone who reads this story


	43. With The Static Growing

Ronon stood motionless, staring through the bars, thankful for the silence at the particularly late hour of the night, the guards stoically doing their duty and abiding the Satedan's presence.

There was still blood staining the concrete floor.

There were still ghosts haunting him.

Murry lay unconscious, twitching visibly, in the middle of the cell, spread-eagled where the stun shot hit him square in the chest. Ronon had felt it necessary, so no one questioned it.

It was freeing, the knowledge that they were frightened enough to let him deal with the wraith, rather than trying (and failing) to do it themselves.

It was a few hours passed, Murry was beginning to claw his way back to a conscious state. Whether he stayed that way was entirely up to his state of mind.

"R-Ronon?" the wraith murmured, his voice wrecked by screaming and so quiet. "I-I-I d-don't t-think it's g-g-going t-to b-be okay a-anymore…"

Murry sat up, aching, the old scars itching as if to remind him of their existence, his ruined face stained from the blood of the self-induced wounds that had healed whilst he "slept".

"Maybe you're right" Ronon said, knowing the time for assurances was over and truth (perhaps more like brutal honesty) now took precedence.

"But we'll keep on trying, it's what we do"

"W-we?" Murry whispered, almost to himself, fighting back the tangible fear of having to face the slow descent to complete madness alone and the realisation that he might not be killed for his actions. "T-they're l-l-letting m-me l-l-live, after w-what I-I d-did?"

Ronon had no such answer but knew that he would not let the wraith die, could not let him die. It was not an option.

"I'll make sure of it" the man said, deadly serious, the expression on his face was for all to see, as was the determination in his tone of voice.

"H-h-humans s-sure are s-strange c-creatures a-aren't t-they? If n-nothing e-else, f-far t-t-too c-c-compassionate f-f-for their o-own g-g-good" Murry smiled and felt old, incomparably ancient with these people who lived such short lives, how could they manage to insert a meaning in such a timeframe, they were barely born before they began to decay and die.

But if Ronon would face the wrath of his leaders for a wraith's life, then this wraith would beat the ravages of time for the man.

Equivalent exchange.

Ronon laughed, agreeing wholly with Murry, then realised that the wraith held him apart from his race. It did not disturb as much as bemuse him, but he left it at that.

"So…" The Satedan began awkwardly "…You wanna talk about it?"

Murry looked up then looked away, his eyes flittering to something in the corner.

"I-I'd r-rather k-know h-how t-the c-children a-a-are…" He avoided thinking about the bars separating him from his youngling, it would only make it worse, but to not pursue news of them would be irresponsible, so he listened.

The children found themselves herded into the conference room.

Charley sat, staring vacantly at the wall, faintly aware that someone was speaking to her.

It hurt to cry now, so she stopped, unable to catch her breath. She didn't want some strange lady to soothe her ache, she wanted Murry, and would have no other touch her. She screamed in such a fury for so long, her abused throat could take no more of the punishment.

It hurt to speak, so she stopped that too.

Murry would make it all okay.

She waited for him, she knew he would come and get her, she just knew it.

She was so tired.

Turi and Devi looked over the youngest of their brood and were all out of steam, at a point where the dream-like quality of life on the base had broken away and left them holding onto a raw and painful reality. It became apparent that they'd no longer be allowed to stay here, it was, after all, a military base, and no place for children.

So _they _said, but clammed shut when asked of the wraith's wellbeing and if there were visiting hours applied. Yes, they were silent then.

Jennifer and Charlotte, emotionally fraught and uncommunicative, sat against the wall and stared into space, aware of decisions being made above their heads, and taking no interest.

Jake and Allie spat vicious retorts at each other, the tension in the room forcing an aggression between them that was as therapeutic as it was unusual. No one bothered to intervene, it was a hopeless case regardless.

Dominic lay beneath the table of the conference room, clutching with his right hand to the small wooden model in his hand and holding Serak's in his left, conscious only of the missing presence of the wraith and the loneliness and helplessness that was thick in the air and on the faces of their "siblings"

All in all, it was a grey and dismal day.

Moraine lay on his back, staring at the ceiling, twitching occasionally, but his eyes were cloudy. So far away.

There was no safe haven left, neither in reality nor in his mind.

He'd never dreamt of such viciousness and pain even as a warlord amongst a violent race. The things in his dreams terrified him. The enclosing walls of his prison stifled him to madness. There was so little hope left.

And then there was the hunger. Always the hunger. With a bitter touch, Murry wished it had all gone wrong so long ago, and death had claimed him in some far off battle.

Death was seeming such an easier solution, a numbing cold that brought nothing. A pure and gentle nothing.

And suddenly, he was flung back into hell's grasp, needles and bloody biopsies, serums and shackles.

The screaming brought Ronon, who could no more than watch and remind the wraith of his presence, remind him that he was not alone.

"I-I'm s-s-so s-sorry, s-s-so s-sorry, I-I d-didn't m-m-mean f-for t-this…"

The wraith screamed, his psychosis deepening and garbled sentences barely understandable but for the constant contrition, and as it became more and more repetitive, Ronon began to wonder as to who these apologies were for.

"No! NO!" Devi shouted, the days events forgotten, to the guards, sombre and only going about their duties as they'd been told. The orders were simple.

Escort the children to Home Base 2, where they'd be allocated positions within the already thriving community of refugees.

Simple in theory.

It had just passed midnight when Murry awoke from his exhaustion-induced, nightmare-addled sleep, and he woke with the gasping and spluttering of one who had been under the water too long.

No need doctor, he's just been down under for too long, is all.

The wraith chuckled darkly to himself, a sound that was not out of place on the last prisoner of the cell.

He tried not to think about them, the others before him. It gave him the most terrible urges. Their anger and fear painted across the cell in waves of heightened emotion, these waves poisoned him, invaded now he was weak, he was vulnerable.

He clawed absently at the floor, defacing it with wraith curses, his own indignant anger bubbling just below the surface (or was it theirs?) just begging to be set free on some innocent…

Murry launched himself to his feet, and strode to the wall of the cell.

The guards gripped their weapons just a little tighter.

With a resolve to purge himself of the poison, of the hate and sadism, he flattened his scarred palms against the force field.

Oh, how he screamed.

Ronon beat the smooth corridor floors in his bare feet, the pain barely registering as the slap of bare skin on stone. He knew something would go wrong. Murry didn't belong in any cage, and would act as such. The descent into delirium spoke readily for that, it had seldom, in the Satedan's experience, been quite so bad, or extended. Of course, long swathes of the wraith's life lay shrouded in mystery and misery, his age undetermined.

Charley screamed in repulsion to the touch of the soldiers, screamed at Murry's pain. She needed to be with him. It was no question of protocol and Devi would tiring quickly of the protests of the soldiers, as they too were now losing patience, they were not trained to be baby-sitters.

Ronon disheartened to tell him that the children were being moved to a secure location, but for the depression slashed clearly through his posture, he probably already had a good idea, and when he looked up at the man-warrior, his big blue eyes were filled with something…violent, feral.

"I-I-I w-will n-not b-be s-separated f-from h-her"

Murry spoke in a seething tone, full of promise, a determination that was impressive.

There was resolve in those eyes as well.

"S-she w-w-will p-perish, w-wither a-a-away. Y-your _f-family _a-are c-condemning h-h-her t-to d-death_" _The wraith stood, visibly shaking.

"I-I h-have n-n-not s-s-survived a-all t-these l-long y-y-years t-to b-be b-b-beaten!"

A shaky silence settled, broken only by the wraith's rattling, hissing breath, the weight of his scarred gaze on the Satedan.


	44. Overdue Change in Momentum

Elizabeth Weir sat, breathing in exasperation and breathing out her sanity. Complication past complication, unreal past unreal.

She missed the days when it was simple - wraith were the enemy, kill them, save the galaxy and save Earth.

Easy.

She sighed and stood, winding her way to the conference room.

Murry sat in the chair, his shackled legs pulled against his chest, and eyed the room with an almost tangible suspicion, the eyes of others resting cautiously and venomously on him. The clouds passed over the sun and for a moment the room dulled to a grey murk.

"I-i n-need t-to s-see h-her"

"You know we cannot allow that, not in the state you are in."

Elizabeth's eyes creased in sympathy as the emotion visibly drained out of the wraith and he slumped, no longer bristling with aggression, in his chair – his head cradled in his hands. The guards did not relax, but Ronon placed a well-meaning hand on the wraith's shoulder.

"I guess we'll work on getting you better buddy – so that Charley doesn't have to see you like this"

The wraith nodded in aggreement though did not lift his head.

"T-this i-is b-beyond m-me, R-Ronon, I-i c-cannot f-fight i-it"

His voice wound, desolate and broken, through the room hauntingly with a hint of power that only Teyla felt and Ronon recognised. He remembered with a jolt, the diary that he found. He passed it to the wraith who gripped it too tightly in his fist, the spine bending..

"Y-you c-couldn't r-read i-it. M-most of i-it."

The Satedan nodded and resisted the inquisitive gazes of those around him and knelt beside the wraith and gave his shoulder a last grasp and left the conference room, satisfied for the wraith's safety and his understanding.

"W-what w-will h-happen t-to m-me n-now?"

He looked up, finally, with the eyes of someone who had spent so long at the mercy or cruelty of others that the idea of control had been relinquished. Elizabeth took a deep breath and sighed – knowing that she could not allow sympathy to cloud the reality of the dangers faced by all while the wraith was resided in Atlantis.

"You will be confined to your quarters and Dr Beckett and his team will try to find something that will be of help. Until that time, I'm afraid I cannot allow you to come into contact with any of my team – you pose far too great a threat for me to knowingly place my people in danger."

Murry's eyes widened.

"R-Ronon?..."

Elizabeth shook her head and watched, almost tearful, as the wraith's hands shook visibly and his hushed sobs echoed away as he was led in chains to his room.

The silence was so loud in the darkness before dawn and wound like tendrils around him. The oppressive nights had become his enemy.

It had been three months since he'd seen anyone but Dr Beckett and venomous armed guards and he missed Ronon terribly – the first few days had been insurmountable – he spent most of the time hidden under the bed, the closeness easier to digest than the entire empty room.

Now, it was boredom. He'd taken to training the last few weeks, honing his muscles to be better, his body to be faster and to maintain stability.

Ronon stared at the footage of Murry – swift and fleet-footed, unrecognisable in the heat of movement, a feral snarl adorning his face. John stared at it with him.

"He is dangerous. This is better for everybody."

Ronon grunted and left.

Murry sat cross-legged on the floor and listened to his breathing. He had to hold it together, for Charley, he had to maintain composure at all times – regardless of how he was feeling, of how terrified and all-encompassing the illusions became. He had to maintain complete calm..

He practiced in the mirror. It was difficult at first, to watch his ruined face and confront the damage but underneath there was still something so raw and perfectly formed. He smiled wistfully – it had been so long since he could contemplate his own thoughts without worrying who might overhear them.

To sleep without nightmares was once his only dream – so small – he could do so much better. He wished, a faintly disgusted notion that belonged to the human psyche but it was hope that pulled him through, that he could merge the predator and victim, to become stable and terrifying – gentle and powerful. To become a shadow of who he once was. That Karitz was so set on him becoming again.

It was so easy to lose time. He sat for hours. Sometimes, half-crazed with terror he would tear at the flesh in faint revival of panic, the wounds closing sluggishly now the brilliant edge of feeding was fading. Sometimes he would cry and scream for the fear of loss of Ronon or the children without him there to save them – regardless of the reality. Terrible nightmares and ruthless, pitiless monstrous acts.

He waited and so time passed. He became stronger, faster, with more control over his outward reactions. He felt cold and numb, the distance between himself and Charley horrific on his heart.

Dr Beckett would take blood and try his best to chat lightly to him but never gained much of a reply from the wraith, lost in his own thoughts.

Murry waited for the needles. If he could continue to suffer through the fear and maintain a semblance of calm...If he did not lash out, he had a chance. Slim, but a chance at impressing Weir. Impressing Ronon.

He needed to escape. He could feel Charley changing across the galaxy, alone without him there to guide, it would soon become noticed. Once noticed, who knew how the humans would react.

**Meanwhile on Home Base 2...**

Charley held Turi's hand and stared, exhausted and wide-eyed at the room. Sunlight, dappled by the heavy woodland outside, streamed in through the wooden-framed window panes. The drapes were heavy cotton and coloured a deep red. To the left of the window a low lying bed and next to it, a wooden dresser, conveniently small. Charley barely glanced at any of it before returning her gaze to Turi.

"Want to go Home."

Turi sighed and picked her up, struggling a little with her weight.

"This is our home now."

"...Murry?"

Turi placed her on the bed and took her hand.

"It's time to forget about all that. We have to move on."

Charley eyes were heavy with tears and Turi was tempted to leave and let her continue her love in earnest..

"We need to forget about the love and start again. It'll be okay. This is all going to get better."

Charley shook her head viciously and Turi just held her, himself too numb to cry, having had this conversation six times in a row with youngsters more able to question and refute and hate.

He stood and made to leave when a something caught his eye.

He stared into Charley's face, searching from what was confusing his mind and her eyes drew him. Staring at them, he yelped when he saw it, her pupils were dramatically pinched at top and bottom and matched with her hair growing back so much lighter, Turi could already see traces of Murry's race in her. The effect was thoroughly unsettling. He was sorrowed but glad to be rid of the wraith.

Charley touched her own face, trying to feel what Turi was seeing.

Turi smiled to quash her worried, tearful look and held her tightly. He hoped fervently that the changes would reverse themselves on their own now when out of touch with the wraith across so huge a distance. He hoped beyond hope – who knew how the community might react if they saw.

A/N~ I've decided to revive this story and having long lost the knack you'll have to forgive my rustiness. Sorry about the epic long delay.


End file.
